Baby Talk
by Marty1
Summary: *ponders* Vignettes of life after the birth of Ken and Aya's child, Kaori. Skips around in time, sub plots galore. Alternating POVs. It's very cute! Please read! Chapter seven is up!!(KenXAya, shounen ai, yaoi implied)
1. Baby Talk

Disclaimer: All the characters portrayed here in are the property of people other than myself. I get nothing out of using them to my own devious ends except my own amusement and the (hopefully) amusement of others.  
  
Comments: Ok, nobody sue me for this fic. In my head I've got the whole thing worked out and in my own twisted little universe this is how things go. If you don't want to read about the Weiss boys getting a little older and taking those life altering steps such as tying the knot and starting families: turn back now. Please excuse the convolutedness around the whole artificial, test-tube baby thing, but hell that's how I imagined it working out. Ok, so there is a big old fic gap between my last (and so far only other) fic and this. But if people like this I will fill in the gap. If they don't I will hide my head in shame and go far, far away. So read on and just roll with the punches. It's really quite cute.  
  
Warning: Convoluted plot and completely fictionalized portrayal of artificial child production. There is also cheese and corn content enough to make another Mexican side-dish.  
  
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Baby Talk  
  
A Weiss Kruez Fanfic  
  
I pace nervously past the closed door. The doctors said that we have to wait. Just a little longer they said, but I've waited so long already. I don't want to wait anymore. They want to make the process as natural as possible, they want her to start to fight to be free and then they will deliver her. Just wait, Mr. Hidaka, they say. Wait until the heart palpitations are even, wait until the eyes are ready to open, wait until the plugs dissolve, wait, wait, wait. Jesus I've been waiting all this time. It's been nine months, damn it, and I don't want to wait any longer!  
  
Aya just sits, calm as ever. I want to throttle him. I want him to show what he's feeling. There is no possible way he can be as calm inside as he is outside. The only way he shows that he is nervous is by shifting his position every once in a while. Forward then back, hands behind head, hands folded in his lap, clutching the arms of the waiting room chair. I groan in exasperation and throw up my hands; I tear at my hair.  
  
"I can't take this!" I cry. "What the hell is taking so long?"  
  
"Settle down, Ken," Aya says in that deep voice of his. I look over at him. He raises an eyebrow. I stomp to the seat next to him and plop down.  
  
"How can I settle down?! How can you just sit here? Ran, the doctors promised that today was the day and all they do is fart around! I… I want to –see- her. I can't take the waiting!" I cry. I lean sideways and bury my head in his arm. I breathe him in. His smell calms me, surrounds me. I sigh and try to relax.  
  
He doesn't put his arms around me, he wouldn't in public. But he does lean over slightly and gently kiss the top of my head. "Are you sure you're ready for this, koibito?" he asks quietly.  
  
I sit up right and glare at him, "How can you ask! I've been ready for over a year!" but as I look at him I can tell he was only teasing. His eyes are smiling and there is a sparkle behind them that I never used to see. "Oh, you!" I say gruffly and punch his arm.  
  
But I wonder if I really am ready for this. If –we- are ready. This is the next step, and it's a huge step. I thought it was a huge step when Aya and I decided to seal our relationship and file for marital status. But even though I had been nervous then things hadn't really been that different afterwards. We'd been living together for so long anyway (first as team mates and later as lovers), the only major difference was in our taxes, and the fact that women left us alone when they saw our rings.  
  
I know that I'm the one who said I wanted this; I was the one who wanted a child. Aya hadn't been so sure. He didn't really like kids in the first place, and he thought that us raising a child would be cruel and unusual punishment for all involved. He made a good argument. We were killers after all, should we be responsible for maintaining life when all we did was take it? Did we deserve to try to have a normal life? Not to mention the fact that we could never be 'normal' anyway. Being raised by two men had to be warping for any child, and as Aya had pointed out: with Omi and Yohji practically part of our family already it was going to be more like being raised by four men. At first I'd given in. It wasn't going to be fair to the child, and I knew that. But as time went on I brought it up again. I wanted to have children so badly and coaching soccer only reminded me every day exactly how much I wanted it. Why couldn't Aya see how it could work? This time I cried and yelled and pouted so much that Aya finally gave in. I admit that it wasn't very mature on my part, but I couldn't think of any other way to convince him. As we began to make plans I could tell that he, too, was excited over the prospect of having a family.  
  
Once we finally decided to go for it we'd come to a road-block. How were we going to go about this? Should we adopt, find a surrogate mother, invetro, what? I knew that I wanted my child to be a part of me; more I wanted it to be a part of Aya. Though I wasn't opposed to adoption I wanted biological material involved. Once again I knew I was being selfish, but again I couldn't help the way I felt. Aya said there were so many kids who needed good homes. I reminded him that ours wasn't exactly a 'good' home. Besides how many adoption agencies were really going to give us a child? Homosexual marriages, although finally recognized legally were still socially handled with ten foot poles.  
  
It was Aya-chan who finally got tired of listening to us go around in circles and supplied us with an answer. She offered to donate her eggs. Then I could be the biological father and the child would share genetic material with Aya-kun as well. At first we'd refused. Aya seemed scandalized at the very idea, always so protective of Aya-chan. And I wasn't so sure how I'd feel about knowing that Aya-chan was the mother of my child. Would it lead to tension? If the child found out would it call Aya-chan 'mother' and Aya-kun, 'uncle?' Would Aya-chan become possessive once the pregnancy was over? Female hormones were unpredictable, and some sort of custody battle was not something I wanted to go through. The opportunity for permanent emotional trauma all around seemed too prominent to go through with it.  
  
But in the end Aya-chan sat us both down and laid out her plan. She wasn't going to carry the child. She flat out refused, because she agreed that doing so would lead to numerable problems, and she didn't want to do this for herself, but for us, and besides she didn't feel she was mature enough to have children yet. She was going to donate her eggs, have them taken from her ovaries and then we could have them fertilized in a laboratory test tube with my sperm. After the embryo was successfully fertilized the child would develop in an artificial womb environment where doctors and specialists would monitor it until it was ready to be 'delivered'. It would be very scientific she assured us. She'd even taken the time to do research on facilities that offered such services and had chosen one. She sounded so confidant and excited for us that we both agreed before we could change our minds.  
  
Somehow Aya and I managed to live with each other for the next few months while we talked with doctors, went to meetings, accompanied Aya-chan to the clinics for her various physicals (there had been some initial concern that she wasn't a good candidate for egg donation because of her earlier medical problems, but eventually everything checked out), visited specialists, and figured out the financial end of our problems. Trying to get Aya to part with money was like trying to get Yohji to stop wearing cologne. It was driving him to distraction to the extent that he was screwing up on missions. Persia became so aggravated that he offered to front us the money if Aya would get back to normal. We were all blown away. Persia had nearly had a conniption fit when we told him that we were getting married (of course he hadn't known that we were together at all), and he hadn't been happy when we told him that we planned to start a family. We'd told him that other members of Kritiker had families and we didn't intend to be any different. Of course all of this had to go through Manx and Birman.  
  
Finally everything worked out and we had all been present for the fertilization ceremony. It was strangely anticlimactic. Aya, Yohji, Omi, Aya-chan, and I had all just huddled around a test tube with transparent fluid in it and watched as the whole saga played out on a magnification screen. When it was all over Aya-chan turned to me and said, "Well, Ken- kun, was it good for you?" We'd all laughed nervously, all except Aya-kun of course. He'd just glowered at both of us until Aya-chan told him to lighten up.  
  
The next nine months had been so long I thought I was going to go insane. The child was kept inside the artificial womb. We couldn't see it developing except through ultra sound images. When it became clear that the child was female we'd been slightly nervous. We'd purposefully asked for the gender to be chance, but still. The four of us raising a girl… this was going to be interesting.  
  
The whole time Aya tried to act as if nothing was going on. He never brought it up. He just went about work as usual. I was a nervous wreck. I started thinking about things like diapers, baby proofing, car seats, jumpers, walkers, educational television programming, baby formula, etc…. I stared buying parenting magazines and reading them late at night after missions. Aya didn't think I noticed, but I know he read them too when he thought he was alone. As the time drew closer and closer I could tell Aya was getting excited. I came up from the Koneko one day to find him painting the room that used to be mine a light shade of yellow. I'd jumped him on the spot and made love to him with all the pent up excitement that was coursing through my body. I'd never known paint could be so much fun.  
  
Now it was finally time. It was finally the delivery day and the doctors were still making me wait. Today is the day we can finally take her home. My stomach is in knots.  
  
Suddenly the door to the waiting room bursts open and Omi and Yohji come running in.  
  
"C'mon, Omittchi! We've probably already missed all the action!"  
  
I stand up quickly and they see me. They run over to us, breathless. "What's going on, Ken? Haven't they started yet?" Yohji asks grabbing my shoulder.  
  
I shake my head in agitation. "No, I don't know what the hell they are doing, but we can't go in yet. We've been here for four hours!"  
  
"Yeah, we know," Yohji says. "Remember how you two left as soon as you got the phone call? I want you to try closing the shop with only two people on a Friday night sometime."  
  
"Oh, Yohji, hush," Omi snaps. "Gee, I can't believe that they called you so long ago and made you wait here like this. When you left we figured you'd be back home with the baby by now."  
  
"Yeah, me too," I grumble. Aya grunts noncommittally.  
  
"We don't have any choice but to wait," he says. "We don't want them to rush things do we?"  
  
I sigh and shake my head. I sit back down. This time Aya puts his hand over mine and squeezes in gently. I turn my hand over and lace my fingers through his. If this public display of affection bothers him he doesn't let it show. Yohji and Omi sit down as well and make themselves comfortable. Omi sits next to me and puts one of his hands on my back to comfort me. He knows how I feel about waiting.  
  
Finally a white-coated doctor looking person comes out of the door. He looks bland. Completely unexcited about anything. He looks over at us. "Mr.'s Hidaka and Fujimaya?" he asks even though he knows who we are, he's only been dealing with my neurosis for the past nine months.  
  
I stand up quickly. God man look excited: this is the birth of my child we're talking about! This is what I want to shout at him, but I don't. Instead I say, "Y-yes, that's us."  
  
"It's time, please follow me," he says blandly motioning to us. Aya stands up now, he's still holding my hand, and now his grip is even tighter. He's excited. Yohji and Omi stand as well to follow behind us. The doctor looks like he wants to stop them from coming, but the look on Yohji's face stops him from saying anything.  
  
We all file into the room. It's a pretty odd sight. The artificial womb is lying on a clean table all attached to long tubes and blipping machines and it is moving slightly. The sides keep bulging. A nurse is standing next to it, listening through a stethoscope.  
  
The doctor smiles at us weakly. "We thought this would go a lot faster, but I'm afraid that she fell asleep right before we were planning on stimulating the womb for delivery. We thought we'd let her get a little shuteye before we expelled her into this cold world. But as you can see, she's more than ready now."  
  
Stop your blathering, fool, and get on with it! I think as I glare at the doctor.  
  
We all just nod.  
  
"Well, are we all ready?" the doctor asks.  
  
"I think we'd just better get on with things, doctor. I don't think my husband can take much more of the suspense," I hear Aya say gruffly. I look up and him and lean into his side. He lets go of my hand and puts his arm around me. I wrap my arms around his chest and take a deep, quavering breath. I can hear how fast his heart is beating. I can feel how fast mine is.  
  
I don't know what I'm expecting, but I'm not expecting what comes next. The doctor steps over to the nurse motions her away, and -unzips- the artificial womb. He -unzips- it! That's it. Pink fluid gushes out all over the table and there is an odd smell. There are odd little chunks floating around in the pink fluid that is now dripping off the sides of the table and running down a drain in the middle of the floor. I can feel my eyes rolling back into my head. I think I'm going to pass out. Then the doctor reaches into the artificial womb and pulls her out. She's covered in goo, she's red, she's wrinkly, she's perfect. The doctor gives her a little smack and she cries out. Now I do pass out. I slither out of Aya's arm and hit the floor in a boneless pile of mush. I heard our baby cry!  
  
Aya looks down at me, "Ken?"  
  
Omi rushes to my side and starts to shake me, "Ken? Ken! You can't do this now! You're missing it!" he shakes me again, but I'm out of it.  
  
"Here let me try," Yohji says. He kneels down besides Omi and slaps my face twice, once to and once fro. My eyes snap open. Omi helps me sit up.  
  
"She... she cried," I whisper softly. I look over at Omi and he's smiling to beat the band. I look up trying to see my baby again. I catch my breath. She's all wrapped up in a blanket, still all red and gooey, but she's in Aya's arms. My heart skips a beat. He's never looked more beautiful than he does now just standing there with our baby in his strong arms. He's looking at her with wonder in his eyes.  
  
"Aya," Yohji says softly.  
  
Aya turns around and sees me staring up at him; I meet his eyes. He's crying. He comes to me, kneels down before me and holds our daughter between us. He leans forward until our foreheads touch. I can't take my eyes off of her. I burst into tears. I sob uncontrollably. I reach out to touch her, but my hands are shaking so badly I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her, so I touch Aya's arms instead. Omi warps his arm around my shoulder and starts to cry as well. Yohji tries to stay aloof. He knows somebody has to keep it together. He winks at the nurse. How do I know all this? I don't know, I just do.  
  
Eventually the doctor breaks us up, not to be cruel, but because he has to clean the baby and get her ready to go home with us. They need to run a few tests just to make sure that she's healthy and ready to leave the clinic. He takes her from Aya's arms. I know that they feel empty now, so I throw myself into them, holding him so tight that I'm afraid I might hurt him. But he doesn't complain. We just hold each other. The love between everyone in the room is so thick it makes me want to fall asleep.  
  
"I need to call Aya-chan," he says at length. I nod and look up, smiling. We kiss briefly.  
  
"I love you," I whisper.  
  
"I love you more," he whispers back, kissing my forehead. The nurse asks us to wait in the hallway again. I walk out slowly with Omi and Yohji flanking me just in case I pass out again, but I'm not worried about it. Aya ducks down the hall as we sit down. When he comes back a few minutes later he's smiling.  
  
"Aya-chan is excited. She wants to come over this weekend to see the baby," he says.  
  
I nod in agreement. I wrap my arms around his arm and squeeze it. "We're parents," I say.  
  
"Scary thought," Aya responds.  
  
We all giggle nervously. I feel lightheaded and giddy. The doctor finally comes back and we follow him again. Omi and Yohji say they'll wait for us in the lobby. They want to give us a little time alone.  
  
We enter a clean room. There she is lying quietly in a tiny bassinette. I walk over to her and stare down at the tiny wrinkled face. Her eyes open slightly and she yawns, her tongue sticking out slightly. "She looks just like you, koibito," I say laughing.  
  
"Very funny," Aya says standing beside me. "I think those little sticking out ears of hers are definitely yours."  
  
"What?! My ears don't stick out!" I cry. He kisses me on the forehead again. "Jerk," I mumble.  
  
"Well," the doctor says. "She's ready to go. Her health is fine and we can see no reason to keep her here. I have scheduled the necessary appointments as far as check-ups and vaccinations are concerned, so I'll give you a calendar with the dates and times penciled in. Let me know if there are any times that aren't going to work for you and we can re- schedule them. And if you will both sign here ... that's it, thank you... you can all be on your way. We'll be in touch. Good luck to both of you."  
  
After all that it seems rather anticlimactic. Aya picks up the bassinette and hands it to me. Her weight feels so good in my arms. "Hi, sweetheart," I coo. She yawns again.  
  
"Thank you, doctor," Aya says, shaking hands with him.  
  
"Yes, thank you," I parrot. I can't shake hands; I know he understands. We walk out of the office. Down the corridor, through the lobby where we meet Omi and Yohji and then down the elevator and out into the night. We walk to the car and here Omi and Yohji part ways with us. "Ahh, I'm parked way the hell over that way," Yohji grumbles. "We'll see you back at the Koneko."  
  
"Ok," I say and Aya nods. They disappear between the cars. Aya opens the door and then takes the bassinette from my arms. "Here," he says, "Take her out and hold her while I get the car seat thing adjusted."  
  
"Ok," I say leaning over the basket. I take the tiny body in my hands and coddle it gently against my body. The feeling is incredible. She's so little and warm and solid. I love her so much I never even imagined that I could feel this way. She makes a funny sound. "Am I doing this right?" I ask, suddenly afraid I'm gonna let her suffocate or something.  
  
Aya looks over at me from where he is crouched down in the back of his Porsche trying to strap in the plastic baby-carrier we agonized over months earlier. "Yeah, you're fine," he says. "Babies make noise, it's ok."  
  
"I know, I know. I just don't want to do anything wrong," I say.  
  
"Koibito, you are better with kids than anybody I know."  
  
"I know, but that's with kids, not with babies! I've never held a baby before."  
  
"Never?"  
  
"No, never. I don't have any younger siblings, remember?"  
  
"That's true." Aya straightens up and takes her from my arms. It's cold where she was, but I don't mind. I like seeing Aya hold her. It makes my chest hurt. He ducks back into the car and puts her in the carrier, strapping her in gently.  
  
"Maybe we should think about getting a four door," I say, poking at his back.  
  
"Sure," he says, "Right after you sell your bike."  
  
I scowl.  
  
"That's what I thought," Aya says. "We'll just have to borrow the jeep from Yohji more often."  
  
He closes the door and turns around. He smiles at me and we embrace each other. I love the way my head fits into the crook of his shoulder. "Finally," I breathe.  
  
"Indeed." We kiss. It's one of those amazing gut wrenching kisses that only Aya can do correctly, he's all over me. I feel kinda weird about making out with my husband in a hospital parking lot, but hell, we just had a baby!  
  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
  
I've really never seen anything cuter than Aya wearing the 'front end loader,' as Ken calls it, around the shop. He just walks around with little Kaori-chan tucked into the front carrier, curled up against his chest and stomach. She sleeps most of the day, she's the best baby I've ever seen. He doesn't think anyone watches him, but we all do. Every once in a while he'll reach down and touch her little head, all covered with fine dark hair and then he smiles to himself. He hums too. He doesn't think he does it loud enough for us to hear, but he does. When someone like Aya starts humming, it doesn't matter how soft if is the whole world tunes in.  
  
He greets customers like that. With Kaori in the carrier on his front. He's such a proud father. Who would have guessed? He loves to show her off. He doesn't even mind when the high-school girls come in anymore because now they all crowd around him and fuss over Kaori-chan.  
  
Right now he's standing there, watering the pots with little Kaori curled up against him. He's such a good father. They're both good fathers. But I think Aya is actually a better -mother-. He's always doting. Always checking her diaper and making sure she's eaten lately. Not that Ken doesn't do those things. He does, but he's different.  
  
Ken loves to play with Kaori. He throws her up in the air and catches her again. He swings her around and makes airplane sounds. He tips her upside down and tickles her. He can do anything to that baby and she never cries. Her eyes get big as dinner plates and she makes funny snuffling sounds, but she never cries. Ken treats her like a doll and she loves it.  
  
Aya on the other hand treats Kaori-chan like she's made of glass. He is so careful when he picks her up. He coos to her and cuddles her. His eyes get big as dinner plates too when Ken plays with her, but he never says anything. He trusts Ken that much. They really are perfect for each other.  
  
Ken comes out of the back room with Kaori's bottle. He's humming to himself as he walks up to Aya and leans into him. "Hello, my lover," he says happily and he begins to take Kaori out of the carrier.  
  
Aya looks down. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm taking my daughter so that I can feed her," Ken says, "It's time for her afternoon bottle."  
  
Aya grumbles, "Yeah, but she just fell asleep again."  
  
"You know that if we feed her later she won't drink her evening bottle and will wakeup hungry in the middle of the night and want to eat then. So I'm gonna risk waking her up now so that we might all be able to sleep later. Besides she sleeps in this thing no matter what you do to her. She'll go right back into la la land as soon as she's back against your chest," Ken says lifting Kaori into his arms. She fusses and starts to cry.  
  
"Oooh, what? Ooohh, life is so hard, Kaori-chan! I know, I know, I really do! I wish I could stay curled up against your daddy all day long too, yes I do, but I can't, no I can't, and neither can you," Ken says in his baby talk voice. I laugh behind my hand.  
  
Aya shoots us both dirty looks and goes back to watering.  
  
Ken walks towards me with Kaori in his arms. He's got the bottle in her mouth by now and has it propped up against his chest so that he has one arm free. He's a master at the one-handed baby-feed. I smile at him and he smiles back. Fatherhood suits him so well. "How's it hangin', Omi-kun?"  
  
"Oh, like it always does," I say. We both laugh.  
  
Yohji pokes his head out from behind a huge fichus plant. "No, Omi, the correct way to respond to that is, 'long and strong, my friend.'" He looks over and smiles at us and then sees Kaori-chan and realizes his mistake. He hadn't realized Ken was feeding her, he thought she was still with Aya. He makes a weird face and tries to hide behind the fichus again. But we all know it's too late. She heard his voice.  
  
She spits out her bottle and Ken deftly catches it with one hand. She opens her eyes and squeals. She can see Yohji. She stretches out her little arms and makes grabby fists towards him. She burbles and squeaks.  
  
"She wants you, Yohji," Ken says matter-o-factly.  
  
"Aw, Ken!" Yohji says. "Can't we just pretend I'm not here."  
  
Kaori-chan loves pulling Yohji's hair. She loves to wrap her little baby fists around it and yank until Yohji yells. Thus by default she loves being held by Yohji, because it gives her ample opportunities to pull his hair.  
  
"Yohji, you shouldn't have said anything, but now that you have she knows you're there. I'm not going to stand here and try to feed her when she wants to be held by you. It's an exercise in futility. Now you take her and you feed her!" Ken says stubbornly.  
  
Yohji groans. He's more uncomfortable holding Kaori-chan than anything else. He's afraid he's going to break her. He steps out from behind the fichus plant and holds out his arms. "Fine," he grumbles. Ken hands her over and she squeals with joy.  
  
"Hi there, Tater-tot, come and be a good girl for Uncle Yohji," he says nervously. Ken hands him the bottle and as Yohji leans forward to take it Kaori grabs a good fist full of hair. She yanks. Yohji yells. She squeals with delight. "Ok, ok, Tater-tot, that's quite enough of that! Itaiiii!! Let's let go of Uncle Yotan's hair now. C'mon! I've got a bottle for you."  
  
Ken helps pry her little finger loose as Yohji stuffs the bottle into her mouth. Kaori-chan is momentarily distracted by the warm formula and lets go. "I hope she gets over this hair pulling thing, no niece of mine if gonna be a hair-puller in a fight," Yohji grumbles.  
  
I laugh. "You and Aya-kun, both complain about her pulling your hair. If it bothers you so much, you ought to get it cut," I say.  
  
Yohji looks horrified, "Cut off my golden locks?! Omittchi, you are insane to even suggest it! It drives the women crazy."  
  
"Yeah, especially nine-month olds," I say, giggling.  
  
Yohji glares at me and disappears with Kaori behind the fichus again. Ken shakes his head and walks back over to Aya.  
  
"Ran?" he says. He's been calling Aya by his real name ever since they got married. Yohji and I have both tried to make the conversion, but it's really hard. I've gotten to the point where it's fifty/fifty what's going to come out of my mouth, but Yohji just gave up and usually just calls him Fujimaya. The best was when Yohji started calling him 'Raya' and couldn't stop even though it really pissed Aya off. Funny though... I still think of him as Aya...even though I try to call him Ran. I think we all do, even Ken.  
  
"Ran? You wanna go and get some lunch, koi," he asks.  
  
"Yeah, as soon as Kaori's done eating we can go."  
  
Ken rolls his eyes. "C'mon, Ran, we can leave her here with Omi and Yohji. Besides, I think it would be nice to have lunch together without worrying about changing diapers or about spontaneous projectile vomiting. Don't you?"  
  
Aya can tell that Ken wants to spend time with him, and I can see the struggle in his eyes. He wants to be alone with Ken just as badly, but he doesn't want to leave Kaori-chan.  
  
I smile, "It's ok, Ran-kun, I promise I won't let anything happen to Kaori- chan while you're gone. I'll even put on the carrier. She always goes right to sleep for me, you know. And Yohji's the best baby burper in the history of baby burpers."  
  
Yohji groans from behind the fichus. "Just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean I enjoy it," he mumbles.  
  
Aya furrows his brows, and is about to say something.  
  
"C'mon, Ran, it's just for an hour or so. I really want to spend some time alone," Ken says softly.  
  
Aya gives in. He always does when it comes to Ken. "Ok," is all he says as he takes off the carrier and walks over to give it to me. He gives me the patented Aya Fujimaya 'if anything happens I will disembowel you with my katana' glare and I just smile back at him brightly.  
  
"Have fun you two," I call after them as they walk out of the shop together. I turn and smile at Yohji. He smiles back and tilts Kaori- chan's bottle up so that the last little bit can be sucked out.  
  
"How did we ever come to this, Omittchi?"  
  
I shake my head, "I have no idea, Yotan, but somehow, I'm glad we did."  
  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
  
"Uncle Yohji! I'm gonna get you!" she cries jumping out from behind the sofa. She's wearing that stupid cowboy hat Omi gave her for her last birthday. She makes a gun with her fingers and shoots at me "Shiii-ne! Bang bang! I got you!"  
  
"Ohhh, itai!" I gasp, clutching at my chest and toppling over onto the floor. "Oh, you got me, pardner." I lie there, sprawled out on the floor silent and motionless.  
  
"Uncle Yohji, you're so silly!" she walks towards me. "Uncle Yohji?" She comes closer. "I didn't really shoot 'cha," she says poking me with her toe. I don't move. She pokes me again. This time I roar and grab her, pulling her to the floor and tickling her ferociously.  
  
She squeals in delight, kicking and giggling trying to get away. I pin her down and blow on her tummy. She laughs even harder. She reminds me of Ken so much. And yet, sometimes I can see the part of her that shares genes with Aya too. Didn't she just yell 'shi-ne' when she jumped out from behind the couch? I try not to dwell on what that might mean.  
  
I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I can't believe she's gotten so big. It's been over three years now since Aya and Ken brought her home from the clinic. And a lot has happened in that time. I just finalized my first divorce. That's why I'm back here, pulling baby-sitting duty while the others are out on a mission.  
  
The image of my ex-wife floats up before my eyes. Poor Rikuko. She hadn't asked for any of the shit I put her through. I can't believe that I couldn't stay married for more than a year and a half. Granted I should have know that two weeks was not long enough to wait before popping the question, but I'm not sure I had expected her to say yes. Well we went through with it, tied the knot and I moved out of the Koneko and into her grand estate uptown. Yep, I went and married me a rich woman. I walked out of nothing and into everything and now that it's over I've got nothing she wants, so I'm back to where I was, and plus some. I wasn't going to let her keep everything. And since her income is significantly larger than mine: tra la la, she's paying –me- alimony.  
  
Still. I did love her. I still do. I'd have stuck it out if she'd wanted me to. But she really didn't understand the whole out till all hours with no warning and no explanation part of my life. I tried to tell her as much as I could. But in the end it wasn't enough. She couldn't take me coming home battered and bruised, smelling like blood without a clear reason why, and that was the one thing I couldn't give her. Poor Rikuko. Poor Kenji.  
  
Oh yes, we had spawn. Singular spawn. And on the day he was born I finally understood why Ken had passed out in that weird delivery room the night Kaori was 'born.'  
  
That was five months ago. My son was only five months old and I was already as good as estranged for the rest of his life. I am doomed to become on of those Sunday fathers who take their kid to the park once a week and maybe out to a movie every once in a while. It isn't what I wanted, but I didn't have much joint in the joint-custody agreement that had been worked out. I think once he gets to be five I have the right to have him every other summer and minor holidays. I can't wait.  
  
On reflection it's probably better this way. He deserves the best, and Rikuko will be able to give him that. What can I give him? A flower shop, three jaded uncles, and the legacy of a killer. Go me.  
  
Kaori climbs up onto my chest and sits there. "What'cha thinkin', Uncle Yohji?"  
  
"I'm thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life."  
  
"Nuh-uh, you're just sayin' that!"  
  
"Nope, I promise that's what I was thinking."  
  
She leans down and throws her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek. "I love you, Uncle Yohji!"  
  
"I love you too, Tater-tot."  
  
I put my arms around her little body and we stay like that for a few minutes. "When are my daddies and Uncle Omi gonna get back?" she asks sleepily.  
  
"I dunno, princess. You wanna get in your pj's and watch TV till they do?"  
  
She thinks about this for a moment. "Yeah."  
  
I pick her up and walk with her into her room. Ken's old room. That was so long ago. Years and years. What was it now? Five years since he and Aya tied the knot? Something like that. Yeah that sounded about right. They were together for a year and a half before that, and that wasn't until after we'd moved to Kyoto... man we were all getting old. I was almost thirty. This thought made my breath come shallow.  
  
I stand her up on her bed and whisk her out of her clothes and into her nighttime diaper so fast that it makes her giggle. I pull her nighty down over her head and tickle her tummy. I pick her up again and carry her back into the living room.  
  
"Uncle Yotan?" she asks quietly.  
  
"Yes, Tater-tot?"  
  
"Do you think Uncle Omi and Auntie Aya are gonna get married?"  
  
I freeze in my tracks. I process what she said again. "What do you mean, Tater-tot, why do you ask?"  
  
She shrugs against me, "Just asking."  
  
I start to walk again. "Did they say they were going to? Why do you think they might?"  
  
She shifts in my arms. "Um, promise not to tell my daddies?"  
  
"No, but tell me anyway."  
  
She always laughs at how honest I am with her. So she tells me anyway. "Well, cause I saw Uncle and Auntie kissing one time while you were still living with Aunt Rikuko. Cause while you were gone Auntie Aya came and lived with us here in your room cause she was outta school and all growed up and wanted to stay here, so everyone said she could."  
  
I know that Aya-chan lived at the Koneko for a while after she graduated from college. She'd moved out just shortly before I finalized with Rikuko. I hadn't heard anything about an Aya-chan/Omi romance, but the thought wasn't completely out in left field.  
  
"Yes I know that, Tater-tot, are you sure they weren't just friendly kissing? To say good-bye or something?"  
  
"Huh-uh. They were kissing like my daddies do sometimes when they think I'm not awake. I don't think that Uncle and Auntie know I saw either. And Uncle said, 'Ran-kun is going to kill me!' and Auntie said 'Ran isn't in charge of what we do.' They said some other stuff too, but it was all confusing and grown-uppish. Uncle Yohji, why would papa want to kill Uncle Omi for kissing Auntie Aya? Isn't it good if they are in love? I hope they are and that they get married cause then maybe Aunty Aya will come back and live with us!"  
  
"That would be nice, huh?" I say sitting down on the couch with Kaori on my lap. She snuggles up against my chest and nestles into the crook of my arm. I turn on the TV. "What do you want to watch, Tater-tot?"  
  
"Soccer," she says solemnly.  
  
"Well," I say chuckling, "I don't know if I can find any soccer, but I'll try. How does cartoons sound if we can't find any?"  
  
She thinks it over. "Ok, I guess." I flip through the channels idly. She become impatient and takes the controller from me and turns it right to the sports network. And there it is: soccer. She sighs in satisfaction and watches the screen with wide eyes. Before too long I can hear her steady breathing and I know she's fallen asleep. My plan worked. I change the channel.  
  
A couple hours later I hear the door open. Voices come from the hallway. My three teammates come marching in all decked out in assassin gear. Funny how everything else has changed, but our wardrobes haven't. Ken's still wearing his leather jacket with the useless orange sweater around his waist. Omi, even though he outgrew his adolescent genkiness several years ago, is still wearing shorts, knee socks, and a baggy sweatshirt. And Aya is still Aya when he's killing. All leather trench coat and buckles. I think of the fact that I still wear that crop top and then connect this with the fact that I'm almost thirty. I shudder.  
  
"Hey there, sexies," I say softly from the couch. They all turn to look at me. Ken and Aya are immediately back in father mode as soon as they see Kaori curled up in my lap.  
  
"Aw, she's so precious. C'mon, koi, let's put her to bed," Ken says shedding his claws.  
  
"Ok, or don't acknowledge my existence," I say as I hand Kaori-chan off to Ken's waiting arms.  
  
Ken smiles, "Thanks for staying with her, Yohji."  
  
"Anytime, boys, anytime. Now you two run along and put the princess to bed. Omi and I have something to talk about."  
  
Omi looks at me with his big eyes, ok so he hasn't completely outgrown his genkiness. "We do?"  
  
"Oh, yes, Omittchi. Children say the darndest things, you know?"  
  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
  
I run my hand over his body. He still quivers when I touch him. Even after all this time he still quivers. He sucks air between his teeth. "Ah... Ran...." he says softly.  
  
I roll over on top of him, straddling his hips. He rises slightly beneath me, wanting to meet me halfway, but I don't let him make contact. He groans and falls back to the bed. "Ran...," he sighs, closing his eyes. I lean down and kiss him on the lips. He opens his mouth to me, but I tease him. I don't take his invitation and I pull away. He grumbles and reaches up to tangle his hands in my hair. "Stop jerking me around," he says hoarsely.  
  
"I thought you liked it when I jerked you around," I say softly, biting the soft place below his ear.  
  
"Sadistic bastard," he moans.  
  
"You know you like it," I respond. He doesn't answer because I'm right.  
  
I kiss him again and this time he isn't so quick to comply. He makes me work a little bit to get access. I like that. But in the end I win, because he wants me to. I kiss him deeply, plunging my tongue into his mouth, running it over his smooth teeth and teasing his sensitive lips. He groans into me. I can't help it, I groan back.  
  
We haven't done this in a long time. Things keep getting in the way. Work, worries, Yohji's second wife (don't ask), and of course Omi and Aya- chan. We make love, but it's hard to make love like –this- when you are afraid your little sister will hear you. But tonight they have gone out. We can do this.  
  
Of course there is that other thing that keeps getting in the way.... There's a soft knock on the door.  
  
I pull away from his mouth hurriedly and roll back over. "Shit," Ken breathes. "Not again."  
  
The knock comes again and this time the door opens slightly. "Daddy? Papa?" a tiny voice calls out. There are tears in that voice. I forget about making Ken scream, I forget about wanting him so badly it hurts, I forget that Omi and Aya are out tonight.  
  
"What is it, Kaori-chan?" I call softly. Ken sits up beside me. He hasn't forgotten. He grumbles. I glare at him and he rolls his eyes.  
  
"I had a bad dream, can I come in?" she calls out softly from where she is hanging on the door knob.  
  
"Of course, sweetheart," I say. Ken punches my arm. I glare at him, "She needs us, Ken! She's our daughter," I hiss.  
  
Ken sighs. I swing my legs out of the bed. Good thing I hadn't taken off my pajama pants. I stand and walk to my daughter in the middle of the room. I squat down and she throws herself into my arms, clasping me around the neck. She squeezes me tightly. The kind of squeeze that means, "I'm so afraid, Daddy." I pick her up and carry her to the bed. I sit down with her there and rock her slowly back and forth.  
  
"What was your dream about?" I ask gently.  
  
"Monsters," she says. "Big mean monsters. And they were going to eat you and Daddy and Uncle Yohji and Aunt Asami and Uncle Omi and Auntie Aya and everybody. They were really bad and scary."  
  
"That sounds awful," I say smoothing her hair.  
  
"It was. I don't want monsters to eat me."  
  
"Don't worry. I'd never let monsters eat you or your Daddy or your uncles or you aunts," I'd rather die first, I think.  
  
"Papa?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Can I sleep with you and Daddy?"  
  
I hear Ken make a funny sound and I think it over before answering. "I don't think that's a good idea, honey. Daddy doesn't feel good. How about I take you back to your room and tuck you in and sing you a song and lie with you until you fall alseep? Is that ok?"  
  
Kaori-chan looks past my shoulder at Ken who is sitting up, staring at the ceiling. She crawls out of my arms. "What's wrong with, Daddy?" she asks innocently. She kneels at his side and touches his arm.  
  
"He's very tired," I say.  
  
"Oh... I hope you feel better, Daddy, and aren't tired anymore," she says throwing her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. "I love you, Daddy."  
  
As bad as Ken is with late night parenting he melts. He always does. He smiles broadly and puts his arms around our daughter and holds her close. "I love you waaaay more!" he says fiercely. Then he kisses her face all over and starts to tickle her. She dissolves into giggles and falls back on the bed.  
  
Once again he's done what I can never do. He's taken away her fear in two seconds. She's not afraid of monsters any more. She's not afraid of anything, she's just a sleepy little girl being tickled by her Daddy. I try to be gentle and kind and soothing, but she doesn't really want that. She wants to be tickled mercilessly by Ken.  
  
She flops back over and rolls away from him. Ken's not angry any more. He smiles at us both. Kaori takes my hand. "Will you take me to bed now, Papa?" she asks rubbing her eyes.  
  
"Oh course, honey," I say. I stand and pick her up, cradling her in my arms. "G'night, Daddy."  
  
"Sleep-tight, Kaori-hime"  
  
She giggles at this and curls up against my chest. I walk her back into her room, the room I painted yellow. The room where Ken used to sleep. Where we used to make love. I set out daughter down on her bed and sit next to her as she gets under the covers. I tuck her in and sing her a lullaby that I somehow know. I lie down next to her and in minutes she is asleep. I stand again and simply watch her sleep. My heart feels like it might break just looking at her. There she is, perfect. The product of pure love. Two halves and one whole made up of the two people I love more than anything in this world. That is why I love her so much. Not because she is mine, but because she is Ken and Aya-chan. She is all their warmth, all their smiles, all their love, and all their spirit in a living, breathing, tangible form. I love her because she is a part of them. I know I would not love her as much if she was truly my child. I don't value myself enough. I'd see the things I hate about myself in her and that would break me. I hate nothing about Ken or Aya-chan. I have only unending love for our child.  
  
I don't hear him come up behind me. It isn't until I feel his arms slip around my waist that I know he is there. I don't say anything. He pulls me closer to his body. I turn in his arms so that we are facing each other and I kiss him tenderly. He reaches up to touch my face and tug on one of my ear-tails. I'm thinking about cutting them off. I'm getting too old for cutting edge style. I put my finger to my lips and we walk out of the room, closing the door behind us. In the hallway he wraps his arms around me again and I back him against the wall.  
  
"You're so good with her, koi," he whispers to me.  
  
I can't believe what I'm hearing. I laugh. "I was just thinking the same thing about you. I tried to calm her fears, but all you had to do was give her a hug and a tickle. She loves you so much, Ken."  
  
"Me? Yeah right, I'm Mr. Self-absorbed. I was ready to tell her to go back to bed so that I could fuck you. But no, you have to be all parental and caring. I envy you that. I'm not very good at being a good parent in the middle of the night."  
  
I hold him closer and rock my hips against his. "Well the night's still young, Kenken."  
  
He licks his lips and laughs throatily, "You haven't called me that in forever, Aya-kun."  
  
Now it's my turn to laugh, "Aya-kun, huh? Talk about haven't been called in forever. So it's gonna be Kenken and Aya-kun, huh?"  
  
This time he licks my lips. "I most certainly hope so."  
  
We kiss like we haven't kissed since we first realized that our feeling for each other were something more than friendly. It's intense. I love it. "I'm going to fuck you stupid," he hisses in my ear.  
  
"I most certainly hope so." 


	2. Happy Talk?

Disclaimer: They're not mine, 'nuf said.  
  
Comments: Um… let me see. Well it's more Baby Talk. For some reason I really like writing these, probably because it gives me the chance to write from all four POV's. Anyway, this second installment follows the same formula as the last one. Kaori-chan is slightly older in each section than she was in the corresponding sections in the first installment. If I write more of these that will be the case, she'll keep getting older. Let me see… oh yeah, and forgive my strange obsession with Omi and Aya-chan. For some reason this makes sense to me. They're both happy and spazmastic, so it works for me. And I apologize for the shortness of Ran-kun's section… but it just said all it needed to. Originally there was a totally different story there, but I didn't like it so it went away. If for some reason you want to read it let me know. Maybe I'll do… something with it. Anyway please R&R. I love comments! Bleh.  
  
Oh and I forgot! Aya-kun calls Ken 'aité.' This literally means 'partner,' 'companion,' or 'team mate.' It doesn't technically have a romantic connotation, and he could legitimately call Omi and Youji the same thing and no one would bat an eye. The reason he calls him 'aité' is actually explained in another fic that I am still not happy with, so it isn't up anywhere. When my perfectionist is satisfied I'll post it.  
  
_____________________________________________________________  
  
Happy Talk?  
  
I stop to look out the window. A car drives by and the headlights momentarily brighten the room. The flash upsets the small bundle in my arms. She starts to fuss and spits out her bottle. I look down at her as she opens her tiny mouth in a blood curdling cry, little milk strings dribble out of her mouth. I wipe at the spittle idly with the corner of the towel I have over my shoulder.  
  
"Ohhh, oh what a sound. What a big noise you make, Kaori-chan. What a big noise," I coo softly bouncing her gently in my arms. I rock her again, cradling her tiny body against my chest. It's got to be one-thirty AM and Kaori does not want to go back to sleep. I've been walking her up and down the living room for over half an hour. I sigh and go back to pacing.  
  
I stick the tip of my finger in her mouth and she reflexively closes around it. She gums at it and sucks gently. "It's not going to work, Kaori-chan, sorry to have to tell you. Daddy might taste yummy, but there's nothing in there for you. But, hell, if it will make you go to sleep, you can chew on Daddy's finger till it's pruney."  
  
My eyes are dry and tired; my nose is starting to itch. I want to rub them, but that would require having three arms, and although I consider myself a spry and coordinated individual, I'm not that talented. I hear a door open and click shut again softly. Bare feet on the carpet. I turn around slowly as Aya wanders sleepily into the living room. He stands with his hands on his hips, shirtless in those baggy flannel pajama bottoms that hang dangerously low on his hips. He blinks at me and yawns.  
  
"Why are you up?" I ask softly, bouncing Kaori gently.  
  
"I couldn't fall back asleep after you got up to walk her. I was waiting for you to come back to bed, but you didn't so I got up instead," he says huskily.  
  
I smile weakly. I want to smile more, but I'm too tired. "She just won't go back to sleep. She's drunk half a bottle, and that's usually enough, but every time she drifts off she snaps back out of it. I've resorted to letting her eat my digits."  
  
"Why don't you give her the pacifier?" he asks coming closer to us.  
  
"She spit it out already," I sigh.  
  
"Want me to do anything?"  
  
"Yeah, for the love of God, would you scratch my nose?" I hiss wriggling my nose fiercely.  
  
Aya chuckles softly and comes to me. "What if I just let you suffer?" he asks looking at me through hooded eyes.  
  
"I'll leave you."  
  
Aya's eyes open wide, but he's smiling. "No you wouldn't," he mumbles, reaching up to scratch the tip of my nose.  
  
"Oh yeah, right there," I say. I flare my nostrils. When he's done he tweaks the tip of my nose and then runs his finger along my jaw line, tilting my face towards him. We kiss softly. I can smell his skin, sweet and tangy, drowsy like sleep. Kaori starts to cry around my finger. We pull apart and both sigh.  
  
"Let me take her," Aya says gruffly.  
  
I look up at him and furrow my brows, "Come on, koi, let me do this, she's almost asleep." Kaori hardly ever falls asleep for me. I can walk her all night, give her a bottle, sing to her, let her eat my finger and she'll just fuss and squirm. It must be because all I ever do with her during the day is throw her up in the air and play airplane. I have to face the facts. I'm the play Dad. I'll never be the comfort, sleepy time Dad, it's just not in the archetype cards for me. As soon as I give her to Aya she'll feel safe and secure and drop off into la la land.  
  
"Aité*, if you want to be up all night fine, but if you'd like to come back to bed, with –me-," he says suggestively tugging on the strings of his flannel bottoms, "where it's warm and dark and quiet, I suggest you swallow you're fatherly pride and give Kaori-chan to me."  
  
I grumble, but give in. I hand her over to Aya and give him the bottle. He hitches Kaori into his arms and starts to murmur to her in soft tones. She takes the bottle when he offers it and within moments she's finished the formula and fallen asleep. I sigh. "All my efforts wasted. Why do you even let me get up when she cries?"  
  
"Because I hate making formula."  
  
I glare at him. "Thanks."  
  
"And because I love watching you hold her. You're so sexy when you're sincere," he murmurs to me, leaning over to kiss my face. I reach up, touching his arms.  
  
"Well, when you put it that way, I almost forget my sleep deprivation."  
  
He chuckles softly and we walk together into Kaori's room. Every time I walk into this room I get a rush. I gently touch his hip as I notice the yellow walls. "I love this room," I say.  
  
"I know," he says gruffly, setting Kaori gently on her stomach in the crib. He touches her head softly, just brushing his fingertips along the super fine hair. I come up beside him and slip my arms around his thin waist. I kiss his shoulder. When I hear him sigh softly I continue along his collarbone. My hair tickles his neck and chin. I feel his hand run over my back. I stand up straight and peer down at our daughter.  
  
"She's perfect, Ran, absolutely perfect," I whisper.  
  
"Good ingredients," he says kissing my hair. "Let's go to bed before we wake her up."  
  
"Good idea. If we stay here much longer I might succumb to the urge to fool around," I say, grinning.  
  
Aya turns me in his arms so that we face each other. "I would feel violated if we fooled around in the same room where our infant slept."  
  
"So would I, but sometimes you just make me so crazy," I hiss pinching his ass.  
  
He jumps slightly and looks at me with wide eyes. "Let's go to bed."  
  
I squeeze him closer and then pull away taking his hand and leading him out into the hallway. He pauses to leave the door ajar and then follows me down the hallway. He squeezes my hand. We are almost to our door when I stop and remember that I left a mess on the counter when I made the formula. I release his hand and turn back down the hallway. He reaches after me and grabs my arm.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" he asks gruffly turning me around. I can see what he wants in his eyes. It excites me; I love it when Aya looks at me like that. Like he wants me, like he needs me.  
  
I pull away again even though I'd like to just go with him now. I smile and turn around, heading for the kitchen. "I left the formula out on the counter. If I leave it till morning Youji will think it's creamer and put it in his coffee again. He got seriously pissed last time. Just go get in bed, I'll be there in a minute," I say laughing.  
  
"I don't want you in a minute," Aya grumbles, "I want you now!" He comes after me and grabs me roughly, picking me up off the ground. I kick at the air and laugh.  
  
"Argh! Ran, come on I've got to clean up! Set me down," I say as he leans back. He keeps leaning back until my legs flip up over my head, "Hey!" and the next thing I know I'm flipping over completely and landing on my feet behind him. Now I'm dizzy. He lets me go and straightens up, turning around before I can get my bearings. He ducks and pick me up on his shoulder fireman style. I dangle over his shoulder, feeling rather queezy and then start to pound his back with my fists.  
  
"Ran! This is ridiculous! I'm too heavy for you to carry around and I can't breathe!" I cry incredulously. "Argh! Put me down."  
  
"No."  
  
"Ran Fujimaya, put me down!" I cry.  
  
"Hush, aité," he says walking back towards our room. Both Youji and Omi come out of their rooms. I can see them because I'm facing the opposite direction we are going. I press the heels of my hands into Aya's back and push myself upwards so that I can see them better.  
  
"Oh, that's real cute you two," Youji drawls.  
  
Omi is blushing and laughing behind his hand. "Really dignified, Ken-kun."  
  
Aya turns around almost whacking my head against the wall. Now all I can see is the dark end of the hallway and I start to blush, realizing that my ass is sticking up in the air in nothing but my boxers. I kick my legs. "Put me down," I growl.  
  
"What do you two want?" Aya asks.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just thought I'd come out and see why Ken was screaming like a girl, and ask that you guys play your kinky sex games somewhere other than the hallway. Some of us are trying to sleep, you know," Youji says. "By the, way, real cute, Kenken."  
  
"Shut-up!" I snap. I struggle again but Aya only clamps his arm down around my legs even harder.  
  
"Yeah," Omi says, "You're going to wake up the baby."  
  
A thin wail comes from down the hall. "Too late," he amends.  
  
"Great, job, koi. Now we're back to square one!" I say. It's getting harder to breathe and my ribs hurt. "Would you put me down now?!"  
  
Aya shifts my weight, but doesn't loosen his grip. He's thinking.  
  
Omi giggles and waves at us. I can see him because I'm peering upside down through the gap between Aya's arm and his body. "You guys go ahead and … er… do your thing. I'll take care of Kaori-chan. She always sleeps for me."  
  
Youji rolls his eyes. "I'm going back to bed."  
  
"The formula is on the counter, Omi-kun. If she seems hungry," Aya says turning around. We walk back down the hall.  
  
"Thanks a lot, Omi-kun," I say sarcastically.  
  
He waves at me and starts to giggle again. "Anything for you, Ken." He looks so frumpy in his over sized sweatshirt. That boy needs the fashion police. I shake my head as Aya whips me into our room and then throws me onto the bed. I admit it, I scream like a girl.  
  
I hit the bed with a thump. I feel the air rush from my lungs and barely have enough time to gasp a fraction of it back before Aya is sucking it away again. He's suddenly all over me. The door is closed, when did he have time to do that? I feel his hands snake up under my shirt and I shiver. I tangle my hands in his red hair; I love the way it feels between my fingers, so fine and cool.  
  
He pulls away from me slightly, just enough so that we can look into each other's eyes. He smiles distantly and pulls one of his hands out of my shirt so that he can caress my face. We don't say anything. We don't have to. He nuzzles my neck and whimpers softly against my skin. I kiss his hair. He acts tough, but he's such a softy. He likes to be gentle. He likes the little touches, the soft kisses, the sharing. Don't get me wrong, Aya can be a hellcat when he wants to be, more like when I want him to be, but he prefers it this way. He prefers making love to fucking. But then so do I.  
  
I push on his shoulders gently turning him over so that now I'm on top. He looks up at me with hooded eyes. "Aité…."  
  
I kiss him deeply, slowly. Now his hands are in my hair. I sigh into him. When we pull apart I start to nip at his neck. He moans softly and rubs my back.  
  
"Good thing tomorrow's Sunday," he whispers. I just chuckle and silently agree. There's nothing as beautiful as a closed shop.  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
I'm all alone in the house. Youji is wooing his newest flame, Rikuko Ninomiya, and probably won't be back until tomorrow morning… make that tomorrow afternoon. Ken is away with his soccer kids at the regional competition. And Aya… er, Ran, rather… I suppose…. Argh, I'm never going to get it through my head, oh well. Anyway –Ran- decided to go and visit Aya-chan in Tokyo as long as Ken was away. -Ran- is always worrying that she is being molested by lecherous college boys. Somehow I don't think Aya-chan in the sort of person who lets herself get molested by young men. Not that I can really say, because all in all I don't really know her that well…. Wish I had gotten to know her better; she seemed very nice… very un-Aya-kun. But now I'm just letting my mind wander.  
  
I can't do that, because I'm not really –all- alone. Kaori is here with me. That's right I get to be baby-sitter for the weekend! I'm so excited. I love Kaori-chan. I love the way she wiggles and the way she spits food at me. I don't know why, I just do. She's so little and precious, even when she refuses to eat anything and throws her spaghetti-o's all around the kitchen.  
  
I don't really play with her much when the others are here. I mean Aya… er Ran, rather, and Ken both want to be with her all the time, and she actually demands to be held by Youji, so I usually only take her when she's given to me, or when I know I'm being helpful. Not that I wouldn't love to play with her all the time, but she's not my baby. The others were so surprised when I offered to take care of her this weekend. Aya (I'm just giving up, he's Aya in my head) was really skeptical at first. He really didn't want to leave Kaori-chan. It was actually Youji who came to my defense, if you can call it that.  
  
"Come on, Fujimaya, Omi's great with the little Tater-tot," he'd said, "He may not always ask to hold her or whatever, but give the kid some credit. He's a part of this little family of ours all the same; so just leave the little princess with Uncle Omi. I'm not going to be responsible for her; I've got plans."  
  
Aya finally gave in. He'd been surprised when I already knew all the things he told me about changing diapers and cooking frozen peas and baby food. My efforts are usually under appreciated, but I just smile and try not to mind. "I've got it covered, Aya-kun."  
  
He'd raised his eyebrow and glared at me. "Er, Ran-kun," I'd amended.  
  
Now I've got the music up and the TV on and little Kaori tucked into her highchair. It's strained carrots time! I dance towards her with a spoonful of orangish mush in one hand and the jar the orangish mush came out of in the other. "Hey there, Kaori-hime. Look what I've got! That's right, it's baby food," I cry. I put the spoon in front of her mouth and she patiently opens up and sticks her tongue out slightly. I put the mush into her mouth and she closes it around the plastic coated spoon. I catch a little dribble and then a lot of dribble as she decides she doesn't like strained carrots and spits out the mouthful with an unceremonious "Bleh."  
  
I glare at her sternly and raise and eyebrow. I'm trying to look like Aya- kun does when he wants Kaori to eat. She stares back at me passively, and then suddenly erupts into a burble of uncontained joy. She smiles and squints up her eyes. "Eeeeyaaa!" she squeals. "Bleh, bablppel, shoooththppp."  
  
I can't help it, I laugh out loud. She responds by laughing back. "Oh, Kaori-chan," I say giggling, "you are so cute!" I hold up a new spoonful of strained carrots. "Now eat this."  
  
She stops laughing and glares at me sternly. I realized that she has managed to look more like Aya-kun than I ever could. She's got those narrow, intense eyes of his. Even as a one year old she can glare like Aya. I wonder if this bodes well.  
  
"Oh, come –on-, Kao-chan. You've got to eat something! Would you rather eat left over Mac and Cheese? Or some of the edamame I made earlier? You like soybeans, right?"  
  
She raspberries at me. I turn around to get some of the aforementioned Mac and Cheese and the edamame as well. Maybe if I make a plate for her she'll just eat it on her own. Granted she'll make a mess, but I'd rather clean up the mess than have a staring contest with her over orangeish mush. I make the plate, humming along with the music playing in the living room. As I set it down on the tray of her high chair the phone rings.  
  
I expect it to be Youji calling to say he won't be home tonight, so when I pick it up I say, "Moshi moshi, Omi Tsukiyono's Palace of Love."  
  
There is a light, feminine laugh at the other end of the line. "Oh really? How do I sign up for services?"  
  
I can feel my cheeks turning bright red. I nearly choke on my own tongue. "Oh, h-hi, Aya-chan…." I say. I'm so embarrassed.  
  
"So, do I need a membership, or is this a free trial?"  
  
"Oh, ha ha, I was just… joking.. y-you know, ha," I stammer.  
  
"You are funny, Omi-san," she says.  
  
"You don't have to call me 'san,'" I say, trying to collect my dignity.  
  
"Well, I figure since you –are- older than I am, I should try to be respectful," she says. There's a tease in her voice.  
  
"Well, no one else does, so it's ok."  
  
"If you insist, Omi-chan."  
  
I nearly drop the phone. I can tell that Aya-chan is just teasing me, but still, I get flustered so easily. It's hard for me to connect the girl on the other end of the phone to the Aya Fujimaya I know.  
  
"Anyway, I was calling to ask what time Ran left. He's not here yet, and I was starting to worry," she says.  
  
Finally something rational to talk about. "Oh," I say, "Well, he left this afternoon, so he should be there in not too long. I wouldn't worry, Aya, I mean he has the cell phone. If something was wrong he'd call."  
  
"Yeah, unless he's in a burning heap of twisted metal somewhere."  
  
The image of Aya-kun lying in a twisted heap of burning metal is too much for me to take. "That's a terrible thing to say!" I cry.  
  
"Sorry. I'm just being morbid. It runs in the family," she responds and laughs hollowly.  
  
"Like I said, I'm sure he's fine," I repeat.  
  
There is a space of dead air time. I wonder if I should say good-bye or not. Just as I'm getting up the nerve to cut off our conversation Aya-chan speaks up again. "So what are you doing, Omi; how's Kaori?"  
  
"Um," I say putting the phone in the crook of my neck so that both my hands are free, "Right now she's being fed. At least I'm –trying- to feed Kaori- chan. She rejected the strained carrots I tried to give her. Right now she's making a mess of some macaroni and soybeans. I don't think she's eaten any of it, but she has made an interesting greenish-yellow paste."  
  
Aya-chan laughs. "Sounds exciting. Wish I could be there."  
  
I laugh a little. "I don't think so. No one else is here. It would just be you and me and Kaori-chan."  
  
"Hm. I'll have to come visit you guys in Kyoto sometime, and then we can hang out."  
  
"Yeah, that'd be fun. How are you enjoying your classes?"  
  
"You know, they're just classes. Some are fun and others are not. It's a lot like high school, minus the uniforms."  
  
"Uh-huh." I look over at Kaori-chan just to make sure she isn't choking or something. I walk closer and squat down so that I can smile at her. She throws a good handful of macaroni and soy paste at my head. It hits me square between the eyes. "Argh!"  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Oh nothing," I say wiping the glop away with a paper towel. "Kaori-chan decided my face needed some improving. Thanks a lot, Kaori." She squeals at me and tosses another handful to the floor. I sigh.  
  
"Oh, poor Omi-san," Aya-chan says. "Well, I guess I should let you go."  
  
"Yeah," I sigh. I like talking to Aya-chan.  
  
"Ok, well have a good… oh, wait, I think Ran's here. Hi, Ran!" I hear her cry over the phone. I can hear Aya-kun's voice saying something. It must have been, 'who's on the phone' because next I hear Aya-chan say, "Oh, no one. Just the phone-sex guy."  
  
I splutter. Aya-kun must have responded much the same way because I can hear Aya-chan laughing gleefully.  
  
"Ok, ok, I'm coming, Ran-kun. Well, it's been fun. Thanks for all the great… talk, Omi-chan."  
  
"Bye," I say laughing. Before Aya-chan hangs up the phone I hear Aya-kun say, "Omi-chan?!" Then there is just a click and dead air. I hang up the phone and turn back to Kaori.  
  
She's actually eaten some of her dinner. "Ummy!" she says.  
  
"I'm glad," I say smiling. I lift her out of the high chair and wipe off her mouth and toss her bib into 'dirty bib' bag. She puts her grubby hands on my cheeks and smears them around. I sigh. "What is it about me that says 'rub my face in the dirt' to women?"  
  
She looks up at me with very serious eyes and sticks her tongue half way out.  
  
"It was almost convincing, Kao-chan. If you'd just left your tongue in your mouth, I'd have believed you cared," I say. I don't know why I'm suddenly so tired. Sometimes things just seem so out of whack. Ken and Aya-kun have each other, Youji has half the female population of Japan, and I have… no one. A rather sad and very self-pitying thing to think, but it's true. My last romantic foray was none too successful. I shudder at the memory. Why do I always get stuck with the vicious girls who like to call me cute, beat me up, and try to molest me? Ken says the sensitive guy thing drives women crazy. But my problem is that I really am a sensitive guy, and the –last- thing I want is a crazy woman.  
  
I sigh. Oh well. "You won't treat me like crap and walk all over me, will you, Kao-chan?" I coo. She says something that sounds a lot like "mibble- ppplsh."  
  
"Thanks, Kaori," I smile. I squeeze her gently and rub her little back. "I love you, Kao-chan. Now let's get you all cleaned up and watch some TV. I think we can still catch the Rurouni Kenshin rerun block if we hurry."  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
"Hey! Hey, Ken, don't let him eat that!" I cry sitting up on the grass.  
  
He looks over at me quizzically and I jab a finger in the general direction of Kaori-chan who is about to stuff a nice fist full of grass and dirt into my son's mouth. Ken follows my finger and then jumps up, rushing over to the where the kids are playing.  
  
"No, no, Kaori-chan! No feeding Kenji dirt," he says in exasperation slapping her hand lightly so she drops it. She looks up at him and glares intensely. "Yeah, that only works with your Father."  
  
"No fair!" she cries. "Kenji wanted to eat it. He told me so."  
  
"And I suppose you're psychic, seeing as Kenji-kun is only one and a half years old and his vocabulary consists of 'Dada' and 'ize-cweem.'"  
  
Kaori is unfazed by sarcasm. She'd have to be, being raised by us. She just sticks out her bottom lip and as it starts to quiver she cries, "I want my Papa!" Then come the theatrics, the waterworks. I can't believe that crap actually fazes Ken. He's got a major parental inferiority complex when it comes to Aya, and Kaori plays it up. She's got both of them by the balls. "I want… my… Papa!" she hiccups between sobs.  
  
Ken gets flustered and tries to pick her up, but she just keeps crying and pushes him away. "I… want… my…PAPA!!"  
  
This time Aya looks up from where he's been reading in the sun. He notices that Kaori is crying and snaps the book shut. "Ken, what's wrong with Kaori?" he asks.  
  
Ken shrugs in exasperation. "Nothing. I just told her not to feed Kenji- kun dirt and suddenly I'm a bad guy."  
  
She looks balefully over at Aya and starts crying double time. "I… want… *hic*… my Papa!"  
  
Aya stands and walks over to her briskly he picks her up in his arms and lets her sob on his shoulder. "Daddy's mean," she wails.  
  
"God, Ken, what did you say to her?"  
  
Ken gets up quickly. "Nothing! I told you all I did was tell her not to feed Kenji dirt. And she got lippy and when I wouldn't back down she turned on the water works and screamed for you. Suddenly I'm an ass-hole, because you've spoiled her," he snaps.  
  
"Watch you language, Ken!" Aya growls.  
  
I roll my eyes. I should probably get my son out from beneath their manly tirade. I stand up and walk slowly past them and stoop to pick up my son. He smiles at me and holds out his arms. "Up!"  
  
"Yeah, up it is, Stink-bomb. I don't want you to be squashed beneath the festering exchange of your uncles' pleasantries." I scoop him up and sling him over my shoulder. I could kill for a smoke, but I promised myself I wouldn't smoke around Kenji or Kaori, so I'm gonna have to tough it out.  
  
"I've spoiled her?! That's a laugh, Ken. If she doesn't listen to you it's only because you enable it," Aya growls.  
  
"No, Ran, it's because –you- enable it! And the proof is right there crying on  
  
–your- shoulder," Ken says between his teeth. Aya really doesn't understand how Ken feels about this. I can tell. I've been watching lately.  
  
Kaori-chan's eyes are bigger than dinner plates. She's gotten herself into more than she bargained for. She hates it when Aya and Ken fight. Oh well, maybe this will teach her. But still I feel sorry for the little Tater-tot.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey," I say stepping in between them. "I don't think you two need to be having this type of discussion in front of your daughter, so why don't you giver her to me," I say lifting her out of Aya's arms, "and you two go and discuss this somewhere else. Like over by the pond." I point.  
  
They both look at me for a moment and then Ken grabs Aya's arm and steers him away without another word.  
  
"Come on, kids, whatcha' say we find Uncle Omi and Aunt Aya and get some ice cream?"  
  
"Ize-cweem!" Kenji screams and then begins to drool on himself. Kaori looks after Ken and Aya and then nods slowly.  
  
"Uncle Youji?" she says timidly as I turn and head off towards the center of the park.  
  
"Yeah, Tater-tot?"  
  
"Do you think my daddies are really mad at me?"  
  
I pause for emphasis, so it seems like I'm thinking. "Well, Kaori," I use her name to make my point seem serious, "I don't think your daddies are mad at you, but they are mad at each other –because- of you."  
  
She thinks about this for a minute. "But…."  
  
"But what? Do you think that Ken was trying to be mean when he told you not to feed Kenji dirt?"  
  
"Um…."  
  
"'Cause Kenji is my son, and I don't want you to feed him dirt either. Would you have done what you did if I'd been the one who asked you not to do it?"  
  
She ponders for a moment. I can tell her little four year-old wheels are turning a mile a minute. "No."  
  
"Then why did you pretend to cry and tell Ran that Ken had been mean to you? That wasn't very nice, because Ken wasn't being mean and you got Ran really mad at him."  
  
"Well… I wanted Papa to be mad at Daddy, because I was mad at Daddy. And Papa always takes my side, so I wanted Daddy to feel bad about telling me no, so I called to Papa."  
  
I reflect on the fact that the most beautiful, brutally honest relationship I have is with a four year-old and then go on. "But Ken wasn't wrong to tell you no."  
  
"I know, but –he- isn't supposed to tell me no. Papa can say no, but Daddy should just play with me and make me happy. That's why I don't listen to Daddy, so that he'll learn not to tell me no."  
  
I think about how twisted Kaori's mind is. "I don't think that you can teach your Daddy not to tell you no. And acting like that makes you spoiled."  
  
"Ok, Uncle Youji. I'll try not to try to get attention from Papa when Daddy tells me no."  
  
I shrug. "Ah, no you won't, but that's because you're four. Just as long as you know it makes everyone very sad when you make your daddies mad at each other."  
  
"Ok."  
  
We've reached the center of the park where all the paths converge into a paved pavilion with a hideous fountain in the center. I shudder. I look around and there in one of the slivers of sun-drenched grass are the objects of our search. Omi and Aya-chan are sitting on yoga mats ignoring the world around them. Omi's actually got one of his legs wrapped around his neck and Aya-chan is stretched out flat with her legs straight up in the air. I shake my head. Yoga is their newest 'together activity.' "At least they gave up on the ball-room dancing."  
  
It's been interesting ever since Omi and Aya-chan became an official 'item.' Not only has Aya-kun developed a nervous tick that kicks in every time he sees them together, but Aya-chan moved back in… she sleeps in Kaori- chan's room. I'm beginning to wonder why Kritiker lets her stay with us… I suppose it's because she already knows everything anyway, and they do kinda owe her one, seeing as she's the only reason Aya-kun works for them. Oh the twisted ways the world works.  
  
"There they are kids," I say smiling. "You wanna go and tell em we're getting ice cream, Tater-tot?"  
  
"Yeah!" Kaori cries. I set her down. She streaks across the grass with the energy that only a four year old has. She reaches Omi and jumps onto his back. He snaps out of his yoga trance with a painful cry. That leg over the head thing must not seem like such a good idea just now. He tries to untangle himself as she wraps her arms around his neck and starts to babble happily about ice cream. Aya-chan opens her eyes, sits up, and reaches over to try and get Omi's leg down before Kaori can pop it out of joint. She succeeds, but I can hear Omi saying "Itai! Itai!"  
  
As I saunter up with Kenji-kun, Aya-chan is lifting Kaori off Omi's back and sitting her down in her lap. Omi looks up at me, rubbing his hip joint. "I should have known you'd be the one putting her up to this."  
  
Aya-chan is giggling behind her hand.  
  
"Hey, I just told her to tell you guys we were getting ice cream. I never said, 'go jump on Uncle Omi's back,' she did that by herself."  
  
"Yeah, come on Uncle Omi and Auntie Aya, we're gonna get some ice cream! Let's go!"  
  
"Ok, ok, Kao-chan," Aya says setting her down on the grass. She stands up and reaches out her hands towards Omi to help him. He wobbles slightly and stretches. Aya stoops to pick up their yoga blankets.  
  
"Uncle Omi can I ride on your shoulders?!" Kaori asks loudly.  
  
"Gee I don't know, Kaori-chan, you really hurt my leg," he says teasingly. He's about to pick her up when we hear:  
  
"Youji! I've been all over this damned park looking for you."  
  
I turn around and see Rikuko, my ex-wife, storming towards us. She looks pissed. "Hi, Rikuko, nice to see you too. What are you doing here?"  
  
"What am I doing here?! Youji, you were supposed to meet me with Kenji ready to go in the parking lot –half and hour- ago!"  
  
I look down at my watch. Shit, she's right. Kenji squeals in my arms, "Mama."  
  
"Wow, it's already that late, huh? Guess I lost track of time, sorry about that, Riku. We were about to get some ice cream, you wanna join us for a cone, I'll treat," I say brightly trying to make the best of a bad situation.  
  
"No, Youji, I don't have time. I was supposed to drop Kenji off at my mother's fifteen minutes ago so that I could get to my committee meeting on time."  
  
"You mother's?! Why the hell couldn't you just leave him with me?" I snap.  
  
"Because she's his grandmother, and she likes to spend time with him too," she says testily.  
  
"I'm his father, Rikuko! You don't think I like to spend time with him? That bag already gets to see him ten times more than I do!"  
  
"I don't have time for this, Kudou. Just give him to me," she says taking him from my arms roughly. She glares at me. "I'm assuming his things are in your jeep. I saw it in the parking lot. Give me the keys, I'll put them under your seat."  
  
I'm so pissed I can't even say anything. I dig in my pocket and drop my keys into her hand. "What if it gets stolen?" I ask sarcastically.  
  
"I'll buy you a new one. Thanks for being so responsible, Youji. It's so refreshing." She turns and stalks off with my son. He waves to me over her shoulder. I wave back. I feel like crying, but Youji Kudou doesn't cry… at least not in front of girls. I should have just done like Ken and Aya-kun and married another member of Weiss… of course that only left Omi, but it still would probably have been easier than this.  
  
I feel Omi's hand on my shoulder. He understands somehow. He squeezes gently and I turn to him and Kaori. "Hey, tell you what, Kaori-chan," I croak. "How about you ride on my shoulders?"  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
I like the sound of the waves. In and out, steady, soothing. I grip my daughter's hand tightly. My other hand is in my pocket; we walk slowly. Ken holds her other hand in his and we swing her back and forth between us. She giggles happily. Her dark hair flies out around her as she flies through the air. I smile softly.  
  
"Higher!" she cries delightedly. We swing her higher. I wonder if other people look at us. I wonder what they see, what they think. I wonder, but I don't care. Maybe I used to, but not any more. With them I am complete.  
  
I see other little girls on the beach. Little girls in yellow sundresses and floral prints. Straw hats. Sugar and spice and everything nice. Kaori is not one of those little girls. She wears navy-blue shorts and a faded, hooded t-shirt with racing stripes down the sleeves. She shops with Ken. Our little tomboy. But what else should I expect? Omi wove baby's breath and daisies into her barrettes this morning, but they are falling out now.  
  
"Here, let me go," she says. We release her hands and she jumps forward into the sand and races joyously down the beach into a flock of seagulls. They scream angrily at her and fly up into the sky in a flurry of white wings. She dances beneath them, spinning and laughing, watching them spiral upwards until she falls over and lies smiling on the sand. Ken looks over at me rather timidly and reaches out his hand. I take it and lace my fingers through his. He laughs into the sky and brushes against me. I smile and squeeze his hand.  
  
We walk towards our daughter. He lets go of my hand and rushes forward scooping her up and tossing her into the air. He catches her again and she screams in fear and delight. He starts to tickle her, kissing her face. She screams and kicks until her sets her down and she dodges away from him laughing. He chases after her, but she's fast. She ducks and dodges him and then turns the tables by tackling his legs. They both go down.  
  
She crawls up onto his chest and starts to tickly his ribs. Ken's ticklish. He laughs fiercely and then picks her up around the waist, holding her above him and arms length. They both smile at each other and laugh. He lowers her a little so that they can Eskimo kiss. They rub noses, happy to be together.  
  
I stand apart and watch all this. Here there are no missions, no people to kill, no responsibilities to think about. Nothing to feel guilty about later. Just the quiet of the ocean, the music of seagulls, and everything I care about, laughing. I run a hand through my hair and then walk forward towards my utopia. 


	3. Small Talk

Disclaimer: See chapters 1 & 2.  
  
Comments: Oh my God! I –finally- go around to writing a third installment of the Baby Talk. I'm sorry that it took soooo long, but I was having trouble coming up with interesting things. And besides that I got a little out of control with my other multi-part fic. Add the full time job and the dog walking and the need for sleep… well it just took a while. Hopefully this one is good. I hope so. I especially like Youji's part in this one… you'll see why. It's silly. Have fun. R&R if you value your life!! Actually I have now power over your life, but if I did…. No please do R&R. I like to know what you think!  
  
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"Eiiiiiaaaa, raeieieiei! Blbth thbpt thbpt theeeee, aaaahhhhhh!" It's the sound of inarticulate, uncontained joy, and it fills every corner of my head, making my ears ring, making my eyes water, making me want to scream. Kaori has discovered the power of her voice. If she's awake she's making noise.  
  
Two more customers cover their ears and hurry from the store. The bell jingles, "Thanks for coming," I call after them. I'm surprised people even come in here at all anymore.  
  
I look over at my daughter and see Youji grating his teeth, trying desperately not to drop the potted rose bush he's holding. I set down the clipboard in my hands and quickly walk over to her. She looks up at me with adoration and squeals in delight.  
  
"Yeeeeaaaahhhh! Aieeee…." She bounces a million miles a minute in her Johnny Jump-up, which dangles from a beam in the ceiling. Her feet push off from the ground. I wonder how long until she'll be walking. Boing boing boing.  
  
"Oh, what a sound, Kao-chan. What an unbelievable sound," I say waving my hands at her. She reaches up and waves back, little fingers flexing in the air. "You want up? You want Daddy to pick you up so maybe you will stop screeching like a banshee?" I ask in baby talk. She's such a good little girl, but so loud. Guess she takes after me like that. I stoop to pick her up, slinging her over my shoulder and tapping her diapered bottom. She bites my shoulder and drools. I love it when she gums me. Of course at this stage she's gumming everything.  
  
I start to walk her around the shop. She reaches out to grab anything within reach. She gets a good handful of fichus leaves as we walk by. Youji balks, he has a special relationship with that fichus. It's the only plant in the place he actually likes. "Aw, Ken, did you see what she just did?"  
  
"EEEyaahhh!" She squirms as we walk by Youji. She drops the leaves and makes grabby fists at him.  
  
"Not this time, Tater-tot. Uncle Youji knows your hair-pulling ways," he says smiling at her over the top of the rose bush. "Yeah, just keep on walking, Ken."  
  
"Isn't he a meany, Kaori-chan?" I ask, patting her back. "Wave to mean Uncle Youji."  
  
"You're just looking for someone to pawn her off on," Youji says.  
  
"Now why would I want to do that?" I ask. "I love my little princess, but Daddy needs to do inventory, yes he does, yes he does." I look around. Where has the bishounen gotten off to? "Omi?!" I call.  
  
"Oh, no you don't, Ken," I hear from the back. "I'm potting, there's no way I'm going to sit Kaori."  
  
"Oh come on, Omittchi, somebody has to hold her or else she's going to sit here and scream. Customers are leaving, and I need to do the inventory."  
  
"What makes you think I don't have work to do? These plants are so root- bound they are going to go into shock soon. And where's our fearless leader? I haven't seen him down here hardly at all lately. Where is Aya?"  
  
"Tokyo, probably in class right now," I say. There's a pause from the back room as Omi tries to figure out what I've said.  
  
"Fine, where's –Ran-?"  
  
"Oh, -he's- upstairs. Today's his day off, and he's not feeling well. Or something," I say vaguely.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Omi says coming out from the back room, hands on hips. He's covered in potting soil, a streak of dirt on his left cheek.  
  
"Yeah. What's the 'or something?'" Youji asks, setting the rose bush down.  
  
Kaori wriggles in my arms so I shift her slightly. I shrug. "He just hasn't been feeling well lately."  
  
They both stare at me blankly, waiting for elaboration. "And that means… what?" Omi says at length.  
  
"Yeah, Ken, you're the one who's married to the guy. Is Aya ok?" Youji adds.  
  
I look back and forth between them and shrug. "It's… the insomnia again. You know how he gets. He hasn't slept hardly at all in the past week or so. And when he does sleep he has those dreams. The freaky ones. And of course there are always the headaches…. It's catching up to him."  
  
Youji nods and then turns to go back to his plant. "Yeah, I can feel that, but he should really go see a doctor or something. There are meds you can get for insomnia. Anti-anxiety stuff. You'd really think Kritiker would cover us on that shit…."  
  
"The last thing Ran's going to agree to do is start popping pills," I say. "He still keeps it all pent up inside sometimes. It's best just to leave him alone. He usually comes out of it when he's ready."  
  
"Maybe you should go up and see him. He might like to have Kaori," Omi suggests.  
  
I sigh and swing Kaori down from my shoulder and hold her out in front of me. "I suppose it can't hurt to ask. I hoped he might be able to get some sleep today, but with Kaori-chan up there with him that isn't going to happen."  
  
"Maybe he'd like a little cheering up as much as some sleep. You know how much he loves Kaori; she always makes him smile," Youji adds. "And then we might get some customers back in here."  
  
Omi and Youji both look at me, hands on hips. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I want Ran to get some rest, he needs it, he deserves it, but Kaori is making life unbearable for all of us in the shop… and Ran is her father too. I sigh and put Kaori-chan back on my shoulder. "Alright. I'll go and see him. But if he isn't feeling well I'm bringing her back down here with us."  
  
"Fine," Youji says going back to the rose bush.  
  
"Five minutes would be enough," Omi sighs.  
  
I walk out of the shop and into the back, up the stairs and into our living space. It's quiet. So very quiet. Kaori babbles on my shoulder and tugs gently at my ear.  
  
"Ran?" I call softly. No response. Maybe he finally fell asleep. I wander around past the kitchen area and towards the couches. I look over the back, but he isn't lying there. I walk down the hallway to our room and peer inside. "Koi?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
I blink into the gloom. The shades are drawn, and I can see him lying on top of the bed, still in his pajamas, arm draped over eyes. My heart goes out to him. I wish he'd let me help. I walk into the room, holding Kaori up with one arm. I stand beside the bed and he reaches up slowly, searching for my hand. I hold it out and he laces his fingers in mine, squeezing slightly. "Are you off already?" he asks softly.  
  
"No. I wanted to come and see how you were doing. I brought Kao-chan," I answer. She makes a high-pitched squeal at the sound of her own name. Ran pulls his arm away from his eyes and looks up at us. He looks so tired, his eyes are rimmed in dark circles and the whites are run through with red streaks. He tries to smile. He fails.  
  
"Set her down on the bed," he says, patting it with his free hand. "And then come here."  
  
I lean over his body and place our baby on the far side. She rolls happily onto her back and coos softly to herself. Before I can stand up again, he reaches up and pulls me down next to him. Our hands stay clasped as I curl up beside his body. I rest my head on his chest and listen to his steady breathing. I wrap my free arm around him and gently stroke his side. He lays perfectly still, his arm resting by his side. "Feeling any better?" I ask quietly.  
  
"Much, now," he answers.  
  
I kiss his neck sweetly. He makes a very low purring sound in the back of his throat. "What can I do?" I whisper.  
  
"Go back to work. Inventory needs to get done," he answers, but tightens his fingers around mine.  
  
"Very, funny, koi."  
  
"I mean it. As much as I want you to stay right here with me it isn't going to help either of us. It won't help me sleep and it won't help you get inventory done."  
  
I snuggle closer, tightening my arm around him. "Maybe if you talked to me…."  
  
"Ken…." He growls.  
  
"What is it, Ran? You promised me you'd never hold it in again," I whisper, touching his face.  
  
He looks down into my eyes. I want to make the pain I find there go away. I want to help. "I know, aité. But you already know what it is. It's the same old shit. The same shit you feel, the same shit we all deal with. It just catches up with me now and then."  
  
"Yes, but…," I begin.  
  
"I'm not like you, aité, talking it out doesn't make it go away for me. I just need to work through it on my own. I'll find peace sooner or later."  
  
"I feel so useless to you," I murmur. Kaori-chan begins to babble to herself softly and crawls up onto Ran's stomach, drooling on his shirt a little. He reaches down and softly runs his fingers over her fine, dark head. He smiles distantly at the touch. Then he looks over at me and tilts my chin up slightly. He just likes to touch my face.  
  
"Never, ever feel that way, Ken. If it weren't for you I'd be a soulless vacuum by now. You saved my soul, aité. You can't do everything for me."  
  
"I know but… I hate to see you hurting like this."  
  
"Par for the course, Ken." He kisses my forehead and then falls back against the pillows, exhausted. "What I wouldn't give for five minutes of dreamless sleep," he hisses.  
  
Kaori squeals happily, dragging herself up between us. She rests her head next to mine and breathes softly. I look over at her and smile. "Hi there, my little love," I say. She puts a tiny fist on my arm and then starts to drool on it. We lie like this for a few more minutes, just enjoying what it feels like to be a family. Eventually Ran jabs me and tries to pull his hand free of mine.  
  
"Go back to work, aité. Just come back when you're done," he says thinly. "You do help just by being here."  
  
I push away, leaning over to kiss his face softly and then stand up. "Um…."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I leave Kao-chan with you, she screams unless we hold her and… we all have things to do," I say quickly.  
  
Aya doesn't say anything, he just closes his eyes tightly.  
  
"She's keeping customers out," I add lamely.  
  
"Alright," he grumbles. "I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway."  
  
"You know she's always so good for you, koibito."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I smile down at both of them. Kaori rolls over onto her back and flips off of Ran's stomach, flopping onto the bed. She giggles and waves her hands at me. I wave back. "You be good for the father," I say. Ran makes an indefinable grunting sound. I touch his forehead and then walk to the doorway. I close the door most of the way behind me, and turn to peer back through the crack.  
  
Ran shifts slightly and reaches out for Kaori. He picks her up and hoists her up above his head. She dangles between his strong hands and giggles softly. She reaches out and he brings her closer to his face. He smiles. She grabs his eartails, one in each hand and tugs. "I love you, Kaori. I love you more than you will ever know," he whispers to her. She makes a cooing sound and wiggles in his hands. He sets her down on his chest and plays with her little hands.  
  
I smile. My chest hurts. Seeing them together fills me an indescribable feeling. It's heavy and warm, and makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I turn away slowly, leaving the door open a crack. I thank whatever god there may be that I have them both. I walk slowly back to the shop.  
  
By the time we're closing up for the day I feel like I've counted every single plant in the whole world… twice. Who would have known we had that many multifida cristadas? Omi looks like he's been playing in a dirt pile, and Youji has rose thorns in every single finger. At least the rest of the day has been quiet. I whip off my apron and toss it into a corner.  
  
"Ken! Hang it up where it goes," Omi calls after me as I head for the back.  
  
"No can do, Omittchi. I've got a date."  
  
"Lazy ass!" he shouts as I bound up the stairs. I turn down the hallway and jog to our room. I push the door open and stop. "Ran…." I whisper softly. But he doesn't respond. He's lying on his back, Kaori curled up on his chest. One of his hands rests gently on her tiny back, the other is on his chest and it rises and falls steadily with his breathing. They're both fast asleep. I smile, my heart filled with joy. I turn and shut the door all the way behind me.  
  
I walk slowly back to the shop, cross the floor and stoop to pick up my apron. I walk to the rack and hang it up.  
  
"Oh, I thought you had a 'date,'" Omi says sarcastically.  
  
"Naw… no hurry."  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
"Around the other way! Head her off at the sofa!" Ken cries to me, snapping his fingers. I weave around the end table and hurtle the armchair.  
  
"Ok, ok, I'm trying!" I cry. Kaori has mastered the art of walking. No, she has mastered the art of running. She's so fast! She zips around the floor like some sort of insect. She knows it's time to change her diaper, and she's not having any. Ken and I have been making monkeys of ourselves for almost five minutes. Youji, on the other hand, has been laughing at us and not been very helpful at all. Aya-kun, of course, is nowhere to be seen. So Ken and I race around the apartment trying to catch a speed demon stink bomb.  
  
"Now drive her this way!" he cries.  
  
"What way?! You're on the other side of the couch! She's just gonna go behind the TV again. Isn't there a better way to do this?!" I shout, attempting to scoop up the miniature racer as she evades me once again. She squeals in delight. This is just a big game of tag as far as she's concerned.  
  
Youji doubles up with laughter again. "You could be helping us out, Youji!" I snap at him as I slide around the coffee table.  
  
"I would, but I don't live here anymore. Besides watching you two is much more fun," he says between bouts of laughter.  
  
"This way! This way, Omi-kun!" Ken calls.  
  
"Fine!" I growl "Koa-chan, come to Uncle Omi!"  
  
She giggles and teeters slightly as she makes her way around the couch.  
  
"That's it! We'll head her off. You close from that side and I'll close from this side. We'll cut her off!" Ken cries triumphantly.  
  
You'd think that two professional assassins would be able to use some of the dexterity required for such a profession to catch a single baby. I mean, Jesus, I've chased down vicious criminals, out raced get away vehicles, and escaped from very cramped quarters, but this is impossible.  
  
"Ok, now!" Ken cries as we close on Kaori-chan. She toddles onward and I watch as Ken stoops to catch her. I rush forward in case he fails. We both fail. At the last moment Kaori-chan feints and races away from both of us. Ken and I collide and both go sprawling, tripping over each other. Ken ends up flat on his ass, I end up in Ken's lap. Kaori streaks across the room straight to Youji's feet. She screeches to a halt and looks up at him.  
  
"Ouji!" she cries. He raises and eyebrow and stops laughing. He bends down easily and picks her up under the arms. Ken, who has propped himself up on his arms groans and falls back to the floor.  
  
"Typical," he mutters.  
  
"Whoo-ee, I think someone's a little stinky, huh Tater-tot?" Youji coos to Kaori, holding her at arms length. Of course things only get better. At that instant Aya walks in. He looks over at Youji. Youji walks to him and deposits Kaori into his arms. "I think you might want to do something about his," he says in that Youji drawl. Then he hitches a thumb at Ken and me and says, "You might want to do something about that too…."  
  
Aya's narrow eyes swivel around. "What the hell are you two doing?" I'm out of Ken's lap like there's a rocket lit under my ass. The last thing I want is Aya thinking I'm deviating with his 'aité.' Sorry, but I like my head where it is.  
  
Ken grumbles as he sits up. "We –were- trying to catch that little bundle of joy in your arms, but as you can see it didn't quite work out."  
  
Aya looks confused and he looks back at Youji. "Did I miss something?"  
  
"Not much, Fujimaya, not much," Youji replies starting to walk away. "But I'd keep my eyes on the little one if I were you."  
  
Aya's eyes dart back to me and narrow. I balk. "Not me!" I cry, pointing, "Kaori-chan!"  
  
Ken giggles. "'It's a madhouse! A madhouse!'"  
  
I cross my arms and go to sit on the couch. Now I'm grumpy. "I don't know why I even bother," I grumble.  
  
Ken gets up and leans over the back of the couch. He ruffles my hair. "Because you're –such- a good uncle, Omi-kun."  
  
"Yeah, well now she's caught so just go and change that diaper before she kills everything that lives here," I say pulling my head away. Ken giggles again and I hear him take Kaori from Aya. It's been weird ever since Youji moved out to live with his –wife- (wrap you mind around that would ya?). Now I feel like an interloper living in Ken and Aya's house, because it's them and Kaori and… me. I'm always afraid that I'm going to start intruding on them or something. When Youji was here I never felt like that because then we were all just roommates like always, but now that he's gone I'm starting to feel like the proverbial 'red-headed step child.' Should I start thinking about finding a place of my own? I thought the point was that we all lived together… but….  
  
"Ok, stinky, let's get you cleaned up," he says happily. Kaori makes a discontented sound and fusses. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It's probably nice and warm, right? But it's making your uncle a little grumpy…." He coos. He walks away.  
  
Aya comes around the other side of the couch and sits down next to me. I look over at him, arms still crossed across my chest. "And where have you been? You could have been helping. Knowing Kaori she would probably have just come to you," I snap.  
  
Aya looks over at me blandly. "I was talking to Aya on the phone."  
  
I swallow. "Oh." I think about Aya-kun's little sister for a moment. I remember the strange telephone conversation she and I had all those months ago.  
  
"She's going to come and visit as soon as finals are over. She's thinking about moving in for a while after graduation…. Hope you don't mind."  
  
I smile slightly and shake my head. "Not at all." Not at all….  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
They thought I was crazy. They were so clueless. 'Why do you want to dig that big hole behind the shop, Youji?' they asked. 'Won't it get in the way of the shed?' 'What are you doing with all that potting soil?' Hah! Clueless! I am the most awesome adult I know.  
  
I shovel the very last load of dirt out of the large, shallow hole I have created. It's perfect. It's just about two feet deep, a little more near the middle. I wish I'd had an uncle like me when I was a kid… or a father like me for that matter. Now where the hell did I put that hose? Oh yeah, it's back in the Koneko… hope Ken wasn't planning on watering any plants right now.  
  
Tough luck for him.  
  
I glance over at Kaori-chan and Kenji-kun. They're both lying on the ground. Kaori looks up at me and rolls her eyes. "Are you almost done yet, Uncle Youji?"  
  
"Almost, Tater-tot, almost."  
  
"Huwy, Dad, I'd borwed," Kenji adds. He rubs at his eyes and runs and hand through his fair hair. It's even lighter than mine. I wonder where he got it. Rikuko's hair is dark. Must be those recessive genes. He blinks at me with big, green eyes. Rikuko's eyes. He yawns.  
  
"Stop yawning," Kaori snaps, hitting his leg. "You'll make me start too."  
  
I grin at the kids and wink. "Just hang in there, you two. It's gonna be worth it."  
  
I've been working on this for over two weeks. It's finally ready. "Stay here," I say and then duck into the Koneko. I look around quickly, making sure the others aren't watching. I'm on babysitting duty this afternoon, which means I'm supposed to be responsible. Yeah, whatever. I see the hose. I dive for it. It's mine! Victory! I race from the shop, unraveling hose as I go. Out into the greenhouse and into the back yard. "You two ready for some fun?"  
  
"Yeah!" they cry in tandem. I wink. "Ok, then just one more thing."  
  
They both sigh and sit back again. I set the hose down and walk into the shed. I drag out four bags full of potting soil and two bags of peat. It'll add texture. I grin to myself. I'm so cool. I rip open the first bag and dump it into the pit.  
  
"Ok kids, now as I dump this stuff in there you guys spread it around so it's nice and even. And make sure you mix the peat in really well, ok?"  
  
"'K," Kaori says, getting up and pulling Kenji with her. They both crawl into the pit and start throwing dirt clods at each other. That'll work. By the time I get all the bags empty the pit is filled about halfway with dirt and peat. Good. I smile down at Kaori.  
  
"Ok, Tater-tot, now it's show time. Go turn that hose on, but don't let your dads or Uncle Omi see you, ok?"  
  
She smiles deviously and winks. "Sure thing, Uncle Youji." She scampers off into the greenhouse. I watch her go and then look down at my son who is sitting waist deep in potting soil. He looks up at me.  
  
"This isn't gonna make Mom mad is it?" he asks.  
  
I shake my head. "Naw, what your mother doesn't know can't hurt her."  
  
"Ok," he says slowly, blowing a piece of hair out of his eyes. He's very astute for a three year old. He throws a clod of dirt up into the air and lets it fall. He looks down. "Daddy?"  
  
"Yeah, kiddo?"  
  
"Um… is this what Mom means bout you being ir'sponzible," he asks solemnly.  
  
"What? When did your mother say that?"  
  
"She says it lots of times. She says you're ir'sponzilbe and that I shouldn do things with you that are ir'sponzible," he answers looking up at me with his big eyes.  
  
I run a hand through my hair. Shit. You know something's fucked up when you own kid calls you irresponsible. I squat down and look at him directly. I reach my hand out to him and ruffle his hair. "Well, kiddo, just maybe your old man's a little irresponsible, but I'd never do anything to get you hurt of in trouble. When it comes to that I'm the most responsible guy you've ever met," I say smiling sadly.  
  
He grins back at me. "So I don't have to tell mom?"  
  
"Not unless you want to."  
  
"'K!"  
  
Just then the hose leaps into life and starts to spurt water at us. Kenji screams gleefully and stands up, tossing dirt into the air. Kaori comes running back out of the Koneko and claps her hands. "They didn't see!"  
  
"Good job, Tater-tot. One day you might just follow in the foot steps," I say under my breath walking over to the hose. I hold it above the pit and let water spurt into it. After a minute I realize this is going to take a while.  
  
"What do you two say we leave the hose on here and go get some lunch?"  
  
"YEAH!!"  
  
I set the hose down at the lip of the pit and grin at my own handiwork. I'm a genius.  
  
Fifteen minuets later we are done with our sandwiches and I march the kids back into the shed yard. "Perfect," I say looking at the pit. "Ok, Kaori- chan, go turn it off the hose and let's get to churning." This is gonna be sweet.  
  
  
  
Victim #1: "Where's the hose gone off to?" Ken asks looking around the shop. "Oh there it goes… I wonder what in the world it's doing in the greenhouse…."  
  
  
  
I breach out of the mud, brown glop flowing down my face. "I am the mud monster, raaahhh!" The kids squeal and I lunge at Kaori, scooping her up and tossing her into the middle of the pit. She hits with a squishy glorp sound and goes under. When she comes back up she shakes furiously sending bits of peat and mud flying through the air.  
  
"Whee! I'm gonna get you, Uncle Youji!" she cries diving into the gloppy mess.  
  
I go under again as best I can and when I surface again, making a dull roaring sound, I notice that things are oddly quiet. I feel a little hand tap me urgently on the shoulder. I wipe the mud away from my eyes and look up. Ken is standing, eyes wide with horror by the greenhouse door, holding the hose in one hand. "It's Uncle Ken!" Kenji cries.  
  
I stand up quickly, covered in mud from head to foot. I pull a stray piece of peat out of my hair. "Oh, hey there, Ken," I say casually.  
  
"Oh… my… God!" he cries. He looks like he's gonna bolt. And I can't have that. I can't have him alerting the others. I suddenly lunge out of the pit and rush him. He screams… like a girl, and tries to run, but he wasn't ready for me. I grab him and drag him to the mud hole I have created and dump him in. He flounders and sits in utter shock as the squishy, brown goo slowly eases itself around his body.  
  
Kaori wades over to him and smiles into his face. "Hi, Daddy!" she cries and then unceremoniously lobs a large fistful of mud at his head.  
  
"Raahhh!" I cry, jumping back in.  
  
  
  
Victim #2: Omi flicks a piece of potting soil off his cheek and looks around. "Ran, where did Ken go? Wasn't he going to get the hose or something?" Ran shrugs. "I think he went out back," Omi trails off.  
  
  
  
Ken and I hunker down in the deepest part of the pool, waiting. We're playing sharks and minnows and we're the sharks. Now if the kids would only get close enough so that we could grab them…. But they seem rather content to stand several feet away, throwing mud balls at us.  
  
"Oh no," I hear. Ken and I look up at the same time. Omi is standing at the edge of the pit… dangerously close to the edge of the pit. His hands are on his hips. "I can't believe you two! Would you look at the kids?! Youji, just how much potting soil did you use in here!"  
  
Ken and I glance at each other, a message passes silently between us. I look up and motion to the kids; they nod and start to climb out of the pit. We inch forward through the mud. Omi goes on railing about this and that. Typical Omi. He is so busy telling us why a mud pit is a bad idea that he doesn't realize what's happening until it's too late.  
  
Ken and I both reach out of the pit at the same time, grabbing him behind the knees, making him buckle. The kids tip him forward and the rest is gravity. Omittchi mousse. He shrieks as he meets the mud face to face. Ken and I laugh hysterically and the kids jump back in, helping Omi sit up again. He grumbles loudly. Something about his favorite sweater vest.  
  
Then Ken splatters mud across Omi's face and makes a war whoop sound, tackling the poor bishounen.  
  
  
  
Victim #3: "What the fuck?!"  
  
  
  
We've got this one all planned out. Ken is pressed up against the side of the green house. Omi is hiding behind the far bush. I'm the bait. The kids… well they're bait too, I guess. It doesn't take long. Aya comes out of the greenhouse… unsuspecting, but wary. He immediately zooms in on me and the pit of divinity that I have created. His eyes get so narrow they almost disappear.  
  
"Youji, what the fu…," he begins. Then Ken comes up behind him and wraps his muddy arms around Aya's torso.  
  
"Careful, koi, there are kids around!" he says.  
  
"Ken, what are you doing?!"  
  
Ken only giggles, picking Aya up off his feet. "Omi, help me!"  
  
"Here I come," Omi cries jumping out from behind the bush. He rushes forward and grabs Aya's flailing legs.  
  
"Argh! Ken you wouldn't dare! No… not in this shirt! This is my favorite sweater!" Aya cries, madly trying to get away. But he has little chance of that.  
  
"If you insist, koi," Ken says smoothly, whipping Aya's shirt off in a blur of motion. It's amazing how good he is at that…. Ken tosses it back towards the greenhouse just as he and Omi give Aya the heave-ho into the mud pit.  
  
He lands with a dull splat sound and then sits dangerously still as the mud oozes around him. I'm afraid to laugh. Something bad will happen if I do, I can see it in Aya's eyes. But I want to so badly it hurts. Omi and Ken are also waiting for a sign, wondering if they went too far.  
  
Kenji wades forward in the mud and stands in front of Aya. He presses his hands against Aya's bare chest and smiles leaving two perfect mud handprints. "Mite! Uncle Ran's a Indian!"  
  
Now we all burst into laughter, even Aya-kun. Then he gets up gruffly, but not without a good mud-lob to the head ala Kaori. She giggles and sinks down into the goo. Aya grumbles and wades to the edge of the pit. He gets out walks up to Ken. "You are so dead," he growls.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
Aya snarls and wipes a muddy hand down Ken's face. Ken giggles. Then Aya turns to Omi who is trying hard not to burst into laughter again. "And you," he growls, "we'll just see about having my blessing now. I don't think I need an underhanded sneak for a brother in law…."  
  
Omi's eyes get wide and scared. "Ran-kun! That's not fair," he squeals.  
  
"Now I'm going to have to close the shop so that at least one of us can get cleaned up," Aya says marching back into the greenhouse. I get out of the mud pit and tag along after him. I hear Ken and Omi go back to playing with the kids. I am such a genius.  
  
Just as Aya enters the shop a little old couple come through the front door. They spy Aya, halfway covered in mud, shirtless, handprints on his chest, and turn around without a word and walk back out. Aya stands, speechless. I run into the shop and call after them. "Thanks, come again!"  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
I'm watching her. She is very quiet today, much quieter than usual. Ever since she got home from school she' just been sitting on the couch, chin in hands. Now she's watching Aya-chan and Omi as they play with the twins. She shifts restlessly and sighs. She scratches her head with one hand. I walk over to her, leaning over the back of the couch.  
  
"Hi," I say.  
  
She looks up at me and blinks. "Hi, Papa."  
  
"What are you thinking about?" I ask softly. She squints up her eyes and then shrugs. She tilts her head down and goes back to watching Aya and Omi. Chojiro giggles as he rolls onto his back. Omi leans over him and tickles his tummy. I watch Kaori. Her eyes dart to Aya as she tweaks Soushi's toes. Her eyes furrow slightly. I rest my hand on her head. "I'm going to my room," I say ruffling her dark hair.  
  
"'K," she says.  
  
I wonder what she's thinking about, the way she's acting just isn't like her. If Ken were here, she'd definitely tell him what was wrong, but she and I aren't so good with the talking, and Ken is off at another soccer game. I walk to the room I share with him and grab my book off my nightstand. I sit on the bed and lean back against the headboard. I pull my reading glasses out of the top drawer and out them on. I've just found my page when the door creaks open. Kaori is standing there stubbing her toe against the carpet.  
  
I look up and close my book halfway, pushing my reading glasses up onto my fore head. "What is it, Kao-chan?"  
  
She looks up at me and deliberates. Then she walks forward and closes the door behind her. "Can I ask you something, Papa?"  
  
I nod. "Of course, my love." She comes closer to the bed and hops up next to me. She shifts and I put my book down, pulling her into my lap. She leans back against my chest and puts her head back against my shoulder. We just sit like that for a few minutes. The warmth of her body against mine is sweet and wonderful. I kiss the top of her head and snuffle her hair. I take her hands in mine and play with her fingers.  
  
"Father?" she says at length.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Um…."  
  
"What is it, Kao-chan? You can ask me anything," I say.  
  
"Promise you won't get mad?"  
  
I think about this for a moment. What on earth is she worried about now? Did she get in another fight at school? Did she lose her homework again? What now? "Ok, for now I promise."  
  
"That's not a real promise."  
  
"Well, if you've done something wrong I might get mad," I say.  
  
She shakes her head. "No! It's nothing like that! It's a -question-," she says sharply rolling her eyes.  
  
"Ok then, if it's just a question I won't get mad."  
  
"'K then." She's silent again for a little while. She shifts in my lap. She's really getting too big to sit in my lap like this. She's heavy. I don't want her to grow up.  
  
"What is it?" I ask again.  
  
"Ok, fine. Papa…."  
  
"Yeees?"  
  
"Do I have a mommy?"  
  
My heart feels like it has stopped beating. What I meant to say was, 'You can ask me anything but that….' Now what do I do? That's the loaded question, isn't it? How should I answer? The truth of the matter is rather complicated for an eight year old to absorb. Besides that I haven't talked to Ken or Aya-chan about this…. I can't just tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth. There are too many feelings to consider.  
  
Lucky for me, Kaori likes to talk. "Cause in school today we talked about how people have babies… kinda. Not really detailed, but our teacher said that you need a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. But I have two daddies… is that the same thing? Most people don't have two of one and none of the other… so where's my mommy? Only women have the special place in their tummy where babies grow, right? So… then… do I have a mommy? I've kinda got to, right? Aunty Aya is Chojiro and Soushi's mommy and Youji's son has a mommy, but… since I have you and Daddy… does that mean… what?"  
  
She looks up at me, tilting her head back. I have no idea how to answer those questions. Once I explain one thing this conversation is going to snowball out of control. I clear my throat. "Well… of course you have a… a –biological mother-," I say hoarsely.  
  
She squints up at me. "What's that mean?"  
  
I look around in my head for the words. "Well… um… ok let me try to explain. You are right, Kao-chan, not many people have two daddies or two mommies. But your daddy and I love each other… like men and women do…."  
  
"Cause you are homosexual," she says bluntly.  
  
I blink down at her. "Yeah… wha…."  
  
"I pretty much had it figured out a long time ago, but Uncle Youji helped explain the rest when I asked him," she says matter of factly.  
  
With Youji I wonder just what 'the rest' entailed. "What did he tell you?"  
  
"That you and Daddy are homosexual because you and he are the same gender. Homo means same and sexual means the gender of you sex. So you and Daddy are both boys, but you love each other the way married people do. So it's ok, Papa, I already understand that part," she says squeezing my fingers.  
  
I nod. When did I miss all this? When did my daughter suddenly start understanding the quirks? "Ok… that's right. Are you ok with that?"  
  
She giggles. "Of course. It's always been like that."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"So keep telling me… about what a 'biological mother' is."  
  
"Umm… since your Daddy and I couldn't have children on our own we had a very nice lady help us. She gave us the female part to make you, and your daddy was the male part."  
  
"And I lived in her tummy? In the special place and then she gave me to you?"  
  
"No… you lived in a special tummy that wasn't a part of any woman. It was made especially for you and you grew inside of it in a hospital."  
  
"So I don't have a mommy?!"  
  
"No, you don't. You have a biological mother, a woman who is part of your genetic material, and two daddies who love you more than anything in the world."  
  
Kaori thinks about this for a few moments. She's trying to digest and understand what I've just told her. "I think I understand…. Where is my 'biological mother' now? Did she ever get to see me since she made part of me? And wait… where are you? If daddy is the other part… where are you, Papa?"  
  
"Right here." That's the answer to all of her questions. I wonder if she understands. I run my hand over her head and kiss it gently.  
  
"So who is she?" she asks softly.  
  
"Hmm… I can't tell you right now. Maybe someday."  
  
Kaori fidgets and then sits back, resting her head against my shoulder again. I can tell that she's thinking. Her eyes blink rapidly. "Ok. That's ok. I just wanted to know if I had a mommy, and I don't so that's ok. All I really need is you and Daddy, anyhow. Plus I have Uncle Youji and Uncle Omi and Aunty Aya, and I bet she's better than any mommy could ever be."  
  
I have to smile to myself. How very close to the truth you are, my little one. My love for you is all wrapped up in the two most wonderful people in the world. I wrap my arms around her, and squeeze her tightly against me. "I love you very much, Kaori-chan."  
  
"I know. I love you too, Papa."  
  
We sit together for a few minutes and then she gets up and runs happily to the door. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" I ask reaching for my book.  
  
"I'm going to go and tell Uncle Omi and Aunty Aya what I learned! I bet they'll be surprised," she says happily, rushing out the door.  
  
I smile, sliding my glasses down onto my nose. Won't they just? 


	4. More Talk

Disclaimer: Read the other chapters… it still applies.  
  
Comments: Ugh. This took me a really long time to write and get to a point where I liked it enough to post it. For some reason I am not very happy with this installment of Baby Talk, but… whatcha' gonna do? I hope that other people like it. Man… it's almost 3:30 am… I sooo need to go to bed now. I have to go to work tomorrow. Bleh. Anyway, thanks for being patient. We'll see when I get around to writing more of this. Perhaps getting over my cold will help me write well again… the sinus headache… it does not help the creative process. Ok. You know the drill. R&R or else Marty will be sad without input. *snoozes*  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
I glance over at Ran. He is grinding his teeth again, gripping the wheel tightly. I can tell he's nervous. Scared is more like it. I'm pretty scared myself. I glance down at the clock in the dashboard. Well… it isn't –that- bad. We're only, what, three hours late? I mean Dai can't be that mad… she's only a high schooler after all. What's the worst she can do?  
  
"She's going to kill us," Ran mutters under his breath.  
  
I look over at him again; his eye twitches. "Well, you shouldn't have told her we'd be back by ten," I say matter of factly. He grips the wheel a little harder.  
  
"It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get in, get it done, and get out. But no, Omi gets lost in the ventilation system, Youji sprains his wrist, and you break a claw. Why, why can't things ever go smoothly?!"  
  
"Settle down, koi," I say, chuckling. I reach over and touch his face. Oops… forgot to take off the gloves. A nice bloody streak is left on his cheek. He glares at me out of the corner of his eye. "Sorry," I say lamely. I pull off my gloves and toss them into the back.  
  
"Ken! Not on the leather, Jesus!" Ran cries.  
  
I roll my eyes and lean into the back seat, pushing my gloves off the leather interior and onto the floor. "There, satisfied?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
We drive on. I stare out the window, trying to figure out what we're going to say to Dai. Poor Dai. Never was there a baby-sitter more put upon. Funny thing is she keeps coming back for more. Manx hooked us up with her. She's the daughter of some Kritiker bigwig official … or something. Or was she Manx's niece… cousin maybe? Something like that. Anyway it's nice that she agrees to sit for us, because we don't have to explain the clothes and the weapons and the bloodstains when we come back. But man is she ever a bitch! Good with the kids, but she even scares Ran, and that's saying something.  
  
We park the car. For a few moments we both sit, silent and apprehensive staring at the shop across the street. "Where's Omi when you need him?" Ran hisses under his breath.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Omi… Dai likes him. If he were here it wouldn't be so bad, he could just smile at her and be cute and she probably wouldn't rip out our throats. But no, he just –had- to drive Youji to the emergency room to get his wrist looked at," he grumbles.  
  
"Well… it is kinda hard to drive stick shift with only one hand," I say smiling at him.  
  
"Let's get this over with."  
  
My poor koibito. He hates confrontation. I touch his face again and lean over in my seat.  
  
"Kiss for good luck?" I ask quietly. A smile flickers across his face and his eyes soften. I draw his face to mine. Our lips brush, tongues gently touching as they quest for one another. He tastes like honey and vinegar. Sugar and sweat. I shift in closer to him and bring my other hand to his face, pulling him closer. He leans into me and I watch as his eyes flutter shut. I smile against his lips, I love the power I hold over him. His hands tug at my jacket, and then reach inside, searching.  
  
I giggle as his fingers tickle my ribs. I'm notoriously ticklish. I push him away and open the door of the car. "Don't change the subject, koi," I say playfully. "We still have to deal with Dai."  
  
He grumbles, "Tease." He gets out of the car and stands imposingly on the sidewalk. I rummage around in the back and grab my gloves before getting out and shutting the door with my hip.  
  
"What, did you actually want to try to have sex in the front seat of your Porsche? Cause clean up would be all you," I say putting my hands on my hips.  
  
He doesn't answer but walks purposefully towards the shop. He unlocks the front door and holds it open for me. "Oh, such the gentleman."  
  
"No I'm just hoping Dai will see you first."  
  
I snort. "Thanks."  
  
We make our way to the back and up the stairs into our living apartments. Dai is waiting. She's sitting in a chair, staring at the entryway. She says nothing. She doesn't have to. Her eyes say everything for her.  
  
I smile at her weakly. "Hi, Dai-chan…," I begin.  
  
"Don't 'Dai-can' me. Do you know what time it is? It's after one o'clock in the morning! You said you'd be home by ten!" she cries standing up.  
  
"-I- didn't say that…." I reply, nodding my head towards my husband.  
  
Ran punches my back.  
  
"Well –he- did," Dai says dangerously, pointing at Ran. "You know, I don't mind staying late. If you tell me you need me till one, that's fine, I'll stay. I'll bring my homework, I'll bring my laptop, hell I'll bring a goddamned book. But you didn't tell me you would be out until one. You said ten, and so I didn't bring any of those things. Do you know what I have to do when I get home now? I have to do all my homework. The homework that I planned on doing when I got home at ten! I would be in bed by now… homework done… but no. You have to come back three hours late, and you know what? Some people would have just left at ten, but not me. Why? Because I am a nice person, and I have a genuine concern for the well fare of your daughter!" she cries, advancing on us slowly. Amazing how menacing a girl can look while still in her school uniform.  
  
I try to smile, but I fail. Ran backs away towards the door. "Well, you know how things go…," I say lamely.  
  
She snorts and crosses her arms. "I don't want to know how things go with you people. I just want to get home and get my work done so I can go to bed. And I'm charging you time and half for the overtime."  
  
I hear Ran squelch behind me. She goes straight for where it hurts most, the checkbook. She walks towards us, one hand out and the other on her hip.  
  
"So that's the usual 1000 yen an hour plus 1500 extra for the three hour overtime. I've been here since six… so that's 8500 yen… cash," she pushes me aside with her shoulder and stands in front of Ran. She holds out her hand and looks at him expectantly.  
  
He tries to glare at her, but fails. In the end he sighs and nods reluctantly, taking off his gloves and digging into his pocket. I watch as he slowly, painfully pulls out his wallet and counts out the bills placing them into her waiting hand. As soon as the last bill is in her hand she snaps it shut and smiles at us sweetly.  
  
"Thanks guys. Just to let you know, Kaori was fine, as usual, she had a whole bottle and ate some of the banana you left for her. I had a little bit of a time getting to go to sleep, but other than that she was an angel. See ya later!" She flashes us the peace sign and grabs her coat, bounding down the stairs.  
  
Ran watches her go and his eye twitches again. "There's something about that girl…. Talk about split personalities."  
  
"She is a strange one," I say under my breath. "But Kaori likes her, and not having to explain things helps."  
  
I take off my jacket and goggles dropping them in a pile on the floor. I reach up and start to tug Ran's off as well, reaching around him to undo the clasps. It slips from his shoulder and I drop it on top of my clothes. He wears that sexy sleeveless thing underneath. I run a hand over his upper arm, feeling his muscles beneath my fingertips. He purrs softly, turning and tugging on the shirt around my waist, pulling me against him.  
  
"So that's what that stupid shirt is for…," he says into my ear.  
  
I chuckle against him and put my hand around the back of his neck. I play with the hair at the nape. As I lean against him his arm comes up around my back, holding me against him gently, rubbing my sore muscles. We gaze into each other's eyes. I get lost in him.  
  
"I love you, Ken."  
  
I smile at him. "I know."  
  
He raises an eyebrow sharply. "'I know'? Not exactly the answer I was looking for," he growls.  
  
"Well… how about this then," I say silkily, leaning against him, my lips brushing his earlobe. "Lock the shop, you left it open."  
  
He digs his nails into my back. "Smart ass," he snaps, pushing me back. I laugh out loud, grinning at him broadly.  
  
"Sorry, koi, but you did."  
  
"So that Dai could get out."  
  
"Well, now she got out and we need to lock it up again. –You- left it open…."  
  
He narrows his eyes and glares at me. He turns and heads down the stairs. "Sometimes I hate you, aité."  
  
"I know that too," I call after him.  
  
"And don't leave the clothes on the floor! Put them away!"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
I scoop the pile up into my arms and carry them to the laundry closet, dumping them on top of the washing machine. I then untie the shirt from around my waist and place it ceremoniously at the top. Good enough. Ran will yell at me tomorrow, but I don't care. I jog to our room, and hesitate at the door for a moment. When I make my decision I tip toe back down the hallway and nudge Kaori's door open with my toe.  
  
I walk quietly into the room. It smells like baby powder and laundry. Walking to the edge of the crib I look down at my sleeping daughter. Thank God Kaori is sleeping through the night now. Her little hands are balled into small fists and her feet twitch ever so slightly as she dreams. My fingertips brush over the fine, dark hair that covers her little head. I rest my chin on the rim of the crib and smile. My God, I love her so….  
  
Ran comes in behind me and kisses the back of my neck, one hand touching my hip. He looks over my shoulder for a minute, watching Kaori as she sleeps and then he slips away again, kissing my hair as he leaves. I hear him walk down the hallway and turn the bathroom sink on.  
  
I stand over Kaori for a few more moments, my fingers lingering, touching her hair, brushing over her tiny fists, her feet. Smiling I stand, stretch and turn away, closing the door behind me as I walk quickly back to the room I share with Ran.  
  
I whip off my shirt, dumping it into the laundry basket. I kick off my shoes and stretch. When I lower my hands Ran is standing in the doorway, he fixes me with predatory eyes.  
  
Uh oh.  
  
I back towards the bed. He walks towards me slowly, meditating on my bare torso. "Oh, aité, the things you do to me…." He breathes. "And this time you don't have anywhere to go. No excuses."  
  
"Except the sleeping baby…."  
  
"The active word here is 'sleeping.'"  
  
"Just make sure the active word doesn't become 'waking,'" I answer kneeling on the bed. I run a hand over my stomach. "Want some?" I ask, grinning. I lick my lips and look at him with hooded eyes.  
  
"You're asking for it," he growls, shaking his head, but he's smiling.  
  
"Come and get it…."  
  
He glares for a few moments and then lunges at me. He tackles me, bowling me over backwards. I laugh out loud and he giggles huskily. We wrestle, thrashing around, both trying to get the upper hand, but I was loosing this battle before it started and eventually he gets both of my hands pinned against the bed. I try to push him up, but he's putting all of his weight into it.  
  
I have one trick up my sleeves. I wrap my legs around his back and squeeze hard. Not as hard as I can. I could break his ribs if I really wanted to. I just squeeze hard enough to let him know I'm not giving up without a fight.  
  
He grunts and digs his fingers into my wrists. "Jesus, Ken, are you –trying- to damage my kidneys?" he snaps.  
  
I smile up at him wickedly and give him another squeeze.  
  
"Itai! Be nice," he says gruffly.  
  
"Me?" I say incredulously. "Who tackled who?"  
  
He rolls his eyes and looks down at me. "You were asking for it, aité."  
  
I loosen my legs around him and draw him closer. "I know."  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
Man this place is huge. Ken, Ran (now that Aya-chan is living with us I really have to keep it straight), Aya-chan, Kao-chan and I are waiting on the front step of Youji's house, the one he lives in with his wife, Rikuko. I guess this was her place originally. She's loaded. We've been invited for dinner. This is the first time we've gotten together with Youji and Rikuko since their wedding more than four months ago. Ugh… the wedding. That was too weird. Like some kind of surreal dream.  
  
Ran looks around at everyone. "Ready? Brace yourselves."  
  
Well nod in tandem. He takes a deep breath and pushes the doorbell. It makes a very low, long gong sound. We look around at each other and Aya- chan stifles a giggle.  
  
None of us really like Rikuko all that much. She's so… conventional and uptight and nit picky. Obsessive compulsive, anyone? Not to mention passive aggressive. All I can say is that the sex must me out of this world, because she and Youtan can't have much else in common. I glance over at Aya-chan again and she sidles up next to me.  
  
"I haven't really met Youji's wife yet. She can't be all that bad, can she?" she whispers to me.  
  
I put my hand in front of my mouth to keep myself from giggling too loudly. I shrug. "Wait and see for yourself. She's not really mean or anything… just kinda… uptight."  
  
Aya-chan nods solemnly and then leans against me, turning her head and cupping a hand against my ear. "Well, if it gets too horrible I say we make a break for your scooter together."  
  
I nod and we both giggle behind our hands. Ran looks over at us and narrows his eyes. "What's so funny?" he snaps.  
  
Aya-chan rolls her eyes. "Nothing, Ran." He looks us both over again and Aya-chan sticks her tongue out at him. He shakes his head and turns back to the door. Ken winks at us. Kaori-chan wiggles in his arms.  
  
The door opens suddenly in a burst of Youji.  
  
"Welcome, kittens, to the home of Youji Kudou," he says smoothly. He bows and motions us inside.  
  
"Hi, Youji," Ken and Ran-kun say together as Kaori shrieks in delight as she recognizes her favorite uncle.  
  
"'Ouji!"  
  
"Well hey there, tater-tot! What a… cute outfit. Maybe Uncle Youji should take you to Baby-Gap…." Youji says and reaches for her, taking her from Ken's arms as Ken begins to fumble with his shoes.  
  
"'Ouji!"  
  
"Hey, Yotan," I chime in.  
  
"Hello again, Kudou-san," Aya-chan says timidly.  
  
Youji looks up and furrows his brows in mock distress. "A pretty girl just called me 'Kudou-san', man now I feel really old."  
  
Well all laugh as we leave our shoes on the porch, and Aya-chan covers her mouth, blushing. Youji smiles. "It's just Youji."  
  
She bows shallowly and nods.  
  
"Everybody in," Youji says dancing away with Kao-chan in his arms. We file into the house. It smells like incense and cooking. The floors are all wood. The rugs are all oriental. The artwork is all expensive and mostly abstract. There is a large, deformed sculpture just outside the entry hall. I peer cautiously down the hallway, which opens into a large, sunken sitting room. I can see the kitchen beyond. Everything is open and airy.  
  
Ken shoves me from behind. "Go on, Omittchi, lead the way."  
  
I walk across the sitting room to the kitchen where Youji is happily bouncing Kaori up and down on the counter. She giggles happily and grabs his hair. I slide across the wooden floor to his elbow. "Nice digs."  
  
Youji snorts through his nose. "Yeah."  
  
I look up at him. He's staring intently at Ken and Ran who are crossing the room hand in hand. Youji turns Kao-chan around. "Look, tater-tot, who's that?" Kaori squeals.  
  
"Daddy! Pa-pa!"  
  
I notice that Aya-chan is hanging back, wandering around, looking at the artwork on the walls. She disappears around a corner.  
  
"Oh, I did hear the doorbell."  
  
I turn around. Rikuko walks through a doorway at the back of the kitchen. Her dark hair is up, brushed out of her face. I smile amiably, like I always do. I dip my head slightly. "Hello, Rikuko-san."  
  
She nods in response. "Welcome. Er… Omi, yes?"  
  
I nod and smile again. Nice to know she cares.  
  
She walks to Youji and leans over, rubbing his back. She kisses his ear and I hear her whisper, "Get the baby off the counter."  
  
Youji rolls his eyes and hoists Kao-chan into his arms. He leans over and kisses Rikuko on the nose. "Yes, dear. Now why don't you say hi to the other guests like a good hostess?"  
  
She looks over at Ken and Ran. She smiles quickly and opens her arms to them, walking quickly out of the kitchen. "Ah, I didn't see you two. Your… daughter is so adorable. She's getting so big. But then they always do, don't they?"  
  
Ken smiles and shakes Rikuko's hand. Ran doesn't bother to do either. "They always do," Ken says.  
  
"Hm," Rikuko answers, smiling back, looking them up and down. Ran puts his arm around Ken's shoulders. Ken smiles awkwardly and I notice that he blushes a little. It's a well-known fact that Rikuko is homophobic, and very uncomfortable with Youji's choice in friends. Her eyes get slightly larger and she forces her self to smile. I almost laugh out loud.  
  
Aya-chan wanders in slowly, and Rikuko sees her for the first time. Her eyebrows shoot up. Aya-chan freezes in her tracks. Ran turns around slowly and looks back at his imouto.  
  
"And who is this?" Rikuko asks in an unnaturally high voice.  
  
"This is my sister, Aya. She is living with us," Ran-kun says motioning to Aya. Aya comes to stand next to him. She bows and then Ran puts his other arm around her shoulder.  
  
"It's very nice to meet you, Rikuko-san," she says politely.  
  
"I hope it is alright that we brought her along, we didn't mean to impose," Ran says. The glint in his eye challenges Rikuko so say anything.  
  
Rikuko tosses her head and laughs thinly. "Of course it's alright. Welcome, Aya-san. Welcome to our home. The more the merrier." She turns quickly and walks back into the kitchen where Youji and I have been watching the whole scene and rolling our eyes at each other. "Can I speak with you in the other room, dear?" she says sweetly, too sweetly, to Youji.  
  
"Of course, my pet," he answers handing Kaori to me. "Wish me luck, Omittchi," he says under his breath.  
  
"I didn't know I wasn't invited," Aya-chan says crossly pulling away from Ran. She sits on the couch and crosses her arms.  
  
"Neither did we," Ken says sitting next to her. "God, what a bitch. I hope Youji had a good reason for asking us all over. This is just uncomfortable."  
  
An elegant looking Siamese cat crosses the sitting area and pauses with a flick of its tail. "Ooh, kitty," Aya-chan says getting onto the floor, beckoning to the cat. "Come here, kitty, come to Aya."  
  
I smile to myself. This evening is going to be one we won't soon forget. I back towards the door where Youji and Rikuko exited. I set Kaori down and she toddles off towards her fathers.  
  
"I thought we were having three for dinner."  
  
"Well… so we add an extra place to the table, not the end of the world, Riku."  
  
"Yes, but that isn't the point. The point is that I asked you who you had invited and you said your 'family' from that shop you work at. So I assumed you meant the bishounen and the okamas*." I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my whole body tenses. I can't believe what I'm hearing! I can't believe that Rikuko would say that… and to Youji!  
  
I hear Youji suck his breath in angrily. "Watch your mouth, Riku. I consider those 'okamas' to be my family."  
  
"Oh come on, Kudou, don't tell me…."  
  
"Not another word about Ken and Ran, and I mean it!"  
  
"Fine. Whatever you want, darling," her voice drips with condescension. "Still you didn't tell me that there was another person coming tonight."  
  
"I told you that the people from the Koneko were coming, and Aya currently lives at the Koneko, so I didn't worry about it."  
  
"Obviously. Well, it's fine, I just wish I had known. Just remember that you were the one who wanted to have this little 'family dinner.'"  
  
"We had your family over, I think it's only fair!"  
  
At this I decide I've eavesdropped enough and make a break for the living room. I plop down next to Aya-chan and grab the cat, pulling it into my lap.  
  
"What's going on back there?" Ken asks. I shrug and stroke the cat. Aya- chan reaches over to scratch its ears. Her hand brushes against my chest. It feels nice. I notice that our hands touch more than once as we pet the cat in tandem. I smile to myself. Aya-chan….  
  
Of course my smile fades as soon as I notice that Ran is rather glaring at us. I clear my throat and hand the cat to Aya, standing up, brushing myself off.  
  
"Where's Kao-chan?" I ask.  
  
Ran and Ken both look around quickly. "I thought she was with you and Youji!" Ken says getting off the couch.  
  
"Well… I put her down, I thought she was headed for you guys."  
  
"Omi!" Ran growls.  
  
"Oh, it's not the end of the world," Aya-chan breaks in.  
  
"This house is –not- baby-proof! And besides I'd hate to think what would happen if Rikuko found out that she's been wandering around unattended," Ken answers running to the end of the room. "Kaori? Kao-chan where are you?!"  
  
A tiny giggle comes from the far end of the room where the huge dining table is set up. Ken jogs over and calls again. Ran hurries after him. "Kaori, come to Daddy…."  
  
"Boo!" she cries jumping out from under the table. Ken scoops her up and she starts to giggle maniacally.  
  
"Oh, Kao-chan, don't do that again. You have to be good in Uncle Youji's house."  
  
Ran audibly sighs in relief and puts his arm around Ken again. They stand for a moment, a family. They're such good parents. So cute. Kaori squirms in Ken's arms and reaches out for Ran. "Pa-pa!" Ken gives her to Ran and they walk back towards us.  
  
"Another disaster avoided," Aya-chan says to the cat. I giggle. She looks up at me. "Help me up, Omi-kun."  
  
She drops the cat and reaches her hand up to me. "Sure," I say, taking her hand in mine and pulling her up. She pushes off the carpet and stands up with a little jump, bumping against me slightly.  
  
"Sorry," she giggles.  
  
I shrug and smile. "It's ok." I feel her hand tighten around mine and then she releases me, walking away towards Ran. Is she doing this on purpose? My dad put you in a coma! That shouldn't matter, but somehow I feel kinda guilty having a crush on her like this. And I do have a crush on her. Not like it's ever going to happen… I don't want to wake up one morning to find a katana shoved up my ass. Ugh.  
  
Rikuko and Youji enter the room again. Rikuko smiles at us warmly. "Well, shall we eat? Everything is ready. Youji will set another spot. Please be seated."  
  
We comply. I sit next to Aya-chan. The food is wonderful, and it's a good thing too, because the conversation is abysmal. 'The talk was small when they talked at all….' That just about sums it up. I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about foreign politics as enthusiastically as Rikuko Kudou. No matter what subject is started it soon finds a quick end.  
  
At one point Rikuko pipes up after a long pause and says, "Oh, isn't that cute. I hadn't noticed before that you have matching rings. They almost look like wedding bands…how charming."  
  
Ken's salad stops halfway to his mouth and he sits there, mouth open, salad dangling in space. Ran's eyes flash dangerously and Youji almost chokes on his wine.  
  
"Well, we –are- married," Ran says flatly.  
  
Rikuko smiles warily at this and gives a breathy little laugh. This is not going well. "Oh yes, but I mean you aren't… you know… really… married per se. In ceremonial wedlock, that is…. I mean, you people don't really… do that."  
  
Ran's eye twitches several times and Ken slowly places his hand over his husband's as he finally finishes his bite of salad.  
  
"Rikuko, that's enough," Youji says thinly.  
  
She glares at Youji. "What? I haven't said anything…."  
  
Aya coughs once and sips her water. Youji sighs and stares down at his plate.  
  
"You know what, this was a bad idea. I'm sorry, guys. Let's just wrap things up, ok?" He nods and looks down the table at us. He smiles, grinding his teeth. "What we asked you here for tonight was to tell you something very important. We told Rikuko's family a few nights ago, and I wanted to be able to tell –my- family as well, so I invited you all over for this litter dinner. But it isn't turning out quite how I planned, so I'll just get it over with. We're going to have a baby. Rikuko's pregnant," Youji says bluntly.  
  
There is complete silence around the table. Except for Ken who is now choking on that bite of salad. Always the happy peacemaker I blurt, "That's great!" Smile… smile… smile.  
  
Ran hits Ken on the back and he coughs one last time and sits up. Aya-chan spoons Kaori another bite of dinner.  
  
The rest of the meal passes in relative silence. When it's over we stand and thank Rikuko for her hospitality, congratulate her, and smile uncomfortably. Youji leads us to the door.  
  
"I'm sorry, guys. I really wanted this evening to be nice. Rikuko's been… edgy ever since she found out, so don't be too mad at her. Her heart… tries to be in the right place," he says apologetically.  
  
Ran claps him on the back and shakes his hand firmly. "We're happy for you, Youji. Just please… never invite us over again."  
  
Youji nods solemnly.  
  
We congratulate Youji in turn and then file out of the large, yet suffocating house. This is weird. Soon I'll be the only member of Weiss who isn't a parent. Whoa. We put our shoes on and head for the cars.  
  
Aya-chan walks next to me, Kaori holding onto one of her hands. "I feel kinda left out now," I say, chuckling. "Everybody else gets to be a dad."  
  
Aya-chan looks over at me and giggles, "Oh, Omi-kun."  
  
I sit down on my scooter, turning the engine on and backing it out of the driveway. I sit, idling, waiting for the others to get ready. Aya walks Kaori over to Ran and Ken who are fiddling with the car seat. "You want to get in first, Aya-chan?" Ran asks absently.  
  
She hands Kaori over to Ken and bites her lip. Did she just glance at me out of the corner of her eye? "Um… actually… I think I'll ride with Omi- kun. See you at home!" she says hurriedly and runs down the driveway. She throws one leg over the bike behind me and wraps her arms around my middle. Little butterflies dance around in my chest as her arms tighten around me. I smile, turning slightly red.  
  
Ran looks up quickly. "Wait what?!"  
  
"Go!" she says urgently into my ear.  
  
"Er… ok. See you guys later! Bye, Yotan!" I call as we speed away... well as speedy as my scooter gets.  
  
Aya waves behind us and giggles as she wraps her arm back around me. She squeezes. I feel really good. "This is fun, Omi-kun! I'm so glad that I came to stay with you guys, and I'm really glad that you're here!" she says over the sound of the wind and the engine.  
  
I smile and can feel myself blushing, "Me too," I answer.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
You know what? My life is pretty fucking great. Of course I say that now because I am in a good mood. Usually I say that my life sucks and throw myself a little pity party, but just right now, life is good. You wanna know why? Because today is the last day of school before summer break. And after today my son, Kenji, will be spending the entire summer in –my- custody. And you know what else? I have a great wife who loves my son and my 'family.' Wife number two, yes, but she's a keeper. Asami Kudou. Man I love that woman. Oh, hey and another thing too. Omittchi and Aya-chan are getting hitched in a month. Yeah, another wedding. I love weddings. All those flowers that I don't have to arrange. Life is good.  
  
The shop door jingles and Kaori bursts in with a mighty whoop. Her messy pigtails bob as she jumps up and down. "It's over! Over, over, over! Yippee, summer!"  
  
She races around the shop, hugging Ken and Aya. Ken laughs at her and picks her up, tossing her up into the air. Man… she's getting a little big for that. Omi smiles broadly as he finishes arranging a vase of irises.  
  
Kaori rips out her pigtails and tosses her hair loose. "No more pigtails! No more skirts! No more tights! No more stupid dress shoes! No more uniform! I can wear shorts and sneakers every day! Wheee!"  
  
Ken laughs and laughs. He's still a kid at heart. He feels for Kaori. Aya shakes his head, but smiles anyway. I grin. "I always liked my uniform," Omi says thoughtfully. Typical.  
  
Kaori makes the rounds once more and then races into the back. We can hear her footsteps pounding up the stairs. I shake my head and go back to pruning my fichus. I have a special relationship with this plant. It's been here since we moved here, and I'll be damned if we ever sell it. Maybe I ought to just go ahead and buy it… take it home… but then what would I do at work?  
  
The door jingles again and I look up. A goofy grin spread across my face. "Well look at that, the love of my life just walked in."  
  
Asami looks at me over her glasses. "Oh yeah," she says sarcastically fanning herself with one hand, "check me out. Official babe."  
  
"Definitely," I say walking over to her. She takes one of my hands in hers and turns it over, looking at my nails.  
  
"Ooh, you know how much dirt under your nails turns me on. You do these things on purpose…," she teases.  
  
"You know it."  
  
She laughs. It's the most beautiful sound. She pushes me away and walks into the shop hopping up onto one of the counters. She crosses her ankles and swings her legs, letting her high heels fall to the floor. "Hi, everybody," she says waving to the others.  
  
"Hi, Asami!" Ken calls. Aya looks up from the wreath arrangement he's making, and smiles warmly. Omi waves enthusiastically. I go back to clipping my fichus.  
  
"I was just finishing up from some heinously boring meeting and was passing this way so I thought I'd stop. You guys have the life. I wish I could work with flowers all day. But no, poor little me gets sucked into corporate hell everyday. Oh well, at least I have something nice to come home to everyday," she says sweetly, touching my arm. "Oh, speaking of which! Is Kenji here yet?! I really wanted to take him home and get him settled."  
  
"No, Rikuko was going to bring him over sometime this evening. She wants to 'prep him' before she drops him off," I say looking off into space.  
  
"Yeah, right. 'Prep' my ass. She's probably telling him about 'wicked step-mothers' and telling him to spit in my coffee. How did you ever marry that woman?"  
  
I shrug. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."  
  
"Yeah, well. I'm just glad you're the one that got away, because now you belong to me." She hops down from the counter and slips her high heels back on. She leans over and kisses my cheek. "I better get back to work. I think I'm double parked!" She giggles and waves to us again. "Bye everybody!"  
  
Just then Kaori-chan comes racing out of the back. "Aunt Asami!" she screams rushing across the shop. She tosses herself into Asami's startled arms and hugs her tightly. Sure enough the tater-tot's in shorts and a t- shirt already. "You weren't going to leave without saying hi to me where you?"  
  
"Well, I didn't know you were here, sweetheart. I thought you were still in school."  
  
"Nuh uh, it's summer!"  
  
"What are you going to do now?" my wife asks smiling at Kaori.  
  
"I'm going over to play with Aniki," Kaori answers and then looks hastily over her shoulder. "That's ok, right, dads?"  
  
Aya looks like he's going to go into the safety lecture but Ken says, "Sure. Just be back for dinner."  
  
"Yeah! You guys are the best dads in the whole world!" she cries happily running back over to Ken and Aya and giving each of them another hug.  
  
Asami shakes her head and grins. "Hey, Kao-chan, what do you say you and Aniki come get some ice cream with me?"  
  
Kaori's eyes get big. "Whoa, really?!"  
  
"Sure, sweetheart."  
  
"Cool! Aniki just lives down the street I'll run ahead and get him. Thanks, Aunt Asami!" Kaori runs out of the shop and streaks down the sidewalk. Bat outta hell….  
  
Asami shrugs and smiles. "Screw work. It's summer."  
  
The door jingles as she walks out. Yeah, life is good.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
I rush upthe stairs. My shirt is halfway buttoned up; I'm only wearing one sock. I hate it when I lose my cool in front of other people. But somehow we all took naps this afternoon and we all forgot to set our alarms and now we are going to be late for our appointment.  
  
"Ken!? Where did I put my other sock?" I cry hoarsely.  
  
"How the hell would I know?" I hear from the bathroom.  
  
"Cause you're my husband, and husbands are supposed to know that stuff."  
  
"I could say the same about you, koi." I hear him gargle and spit. He comes rushing out of the bathroom. I hate to think about it right now, but he looks incredibly sexy with only dress pants and wife-beater on. He's run some gel through his hair, but it looks like a bird took a dump on his head.  
  
I stare at him blankly. "What the hell have you done to your hair?"  
  
"What? I don't have time to do it right now. I'll do it in the car."  
  
"Oh no, come here, I'll fix it." He walks to me obediently and after a few moments I've got it how I like it, just slightly messy. I run my gelled fingers together and watch them slip over each other. I raise and eyebrow as a thought runs through my head. I look at Ken. "Hey, this stuff is pretty…."  
  
"Ran! This is not the time to think about that!"  
  
I blush. "You're right."  
  
He smiles at me with a smile that says 'later, koi.' I smile back. We linger, looking at each other and then break, both rushing away in opposite directions.  
  
"Aya, where's my sock?" I call.  
  
There's a pause. "Check Omi's laundry. I think I put a single that I didn't recognize in his drawer."  
  
"Where are you?" I call.  
  
"I'm getting Kaori ready. Just go and check in our room, Omi should be in there with the twins."  
  
I run down the hallway and push the door to Omi and Aya's room open. Omi looks up from the bed where he's putting on his shoes with wide, startled eyes. "Ran?"  
  
"I think you have my sock."  
  
Omi points to the dresser. "You can check. Top drawer, left side."  
  
I walk to the dresser and yank the drawer open. I toss out several pairs of knee socks and then discover the object of my search. I grab the black dress sock and immediately sit down on the floor. I pull it on hastily.  
  
"You're funny when you're in a hurry, Ran," Omi laughs from the bed. He stands and stretches. He's ready all ready. Of course he and Aya actually woke up mostly on time and didn't think to check on Ken and I. I stand as well and brush myself off. Omi walks over to me and starts to finish buttoning up my shirt. I stand still and let him. It's amazing, he's almost as tall as I am. He's come a long way from the genki little kid I met all those years ago. He's my brother in law for God's sake. I shudder at the thought. How did I let it happen right under my nose? Oh well, there are worse guys Aya could have fallen in love with. Even though the whole thing is thick with irony.  
  
"There," Omi says happily. "Now all you need is your blazer and you'll be all set. Oh and your shoes."  
  
I nod. There's a quiet squeal from the other side of the room and I look over. I can see the twins lying on a blanket on the floor. One's dressed in pink and the other in blue. Isn't that cute. I smile and walk over to them. I squat down and wave my fingers before their eyes. "Hi there," I coo as best I can. "Hi, Chojiro. Hi, Soushi."  
  
Soushi manages to stick her tongue out part way, but Chojiro just rolls over and snuffles. I love babies. They're so helpless.  
  
"Oh, Ran, will you take one of them downstairs and put them in their carrier? I'll get the other one. I don't want to take both down the stairs at once."  
  
"Sure." I pick up Chojiro and cradle him against my body. He kicks gently and opens his eyes wide, burbling.  
  
I walk past Omi and head down the hallway. Aya pokes her head out the door of Kaori's room. "Oh, Ran, I can take him. You need to finish getting ready."  
  
She comes out of the room and takes Chojiro from me. Kaori follows her. They're both dressed in formal kimonos. Kaori looks so cute; my heart melts. "Don't you look nice, Kaori-hime."  
  
"It's really tight, and it's hard to walk in these sandals!"  
  
"I know, but you can take them off in the car," I say.  
  
She nods solemnly. "Ok." She turns and follows Aya down the stairs. The way they both move, I'm reminded of just how related they really are.  
  
I walk into the room I share with Ken. He's pulling on his shoes, leaning against the dresser. I smile at him softly. "Wish we could have kept napping."  
  
He grins back at me. "Me too. I hate this formal shit."  
  
"Hm." I grab my shoes from the closet and sit down on the bed. I put them on and Ken tosses me my white blazer. It lands on the bed. He walks over to me, ready to go. I look up at him. He stands over me, straddling my legs. I lean forward and let my head rest against his stomach. I sigh. He runs his hands through my hair.  
  
"What is it, koi?" he asks softly. I nuzzle against him and reach up to grasp his shirt. I pull him closer.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
He runs his hands though my hair again. He massages the back of my neck. I can smell him. So soft, his scent. So familiar, so wonderful. "We've got to go, Ran," he says, gently pulling away.  
  
I look up at him, still holding his shirt. "I know." I stand up and he helps me into my blazer. He takes my hand and we walk downstairs together. Omi, Aya, and the kids are waiting by the door. Omi looks out of breath.  
  
"I counted the seats, we can all fit into the mini van!" He exclaims.  
  
Ken and I look at each other and then at Kaori. "We'll take the Porsche and meet you there."  
  
"Yeah!" Kaori cries. Omi looks puzzled.  
  
"Ok, but it would be more fuel efficient to all go together."  
  
We rush to the cars and pile in, strapping down our various precious cargo. Fifteen minutes later we're rushing back out of the cars and into a building. It's just starting to snow.  
  
Youji and his second wife, Asami, are already there with Kenji. Youji's standing by the door and making the hurry up sign with his arm. He flicks his cigarette away as we rush past him and into the room he indicates.  
  
"It's about time," a man clad in black hisses. He arranges us gruffly among the chairs and stools of various heights. When everything is in order I put my hand on Ken's shoulder as I stand behind him. Kaori-chan is on his lap. We all look around and smile at each other. "Face forward, people," the man in black snaps.  
  
We all obey. "Ok, smile." We do. All of us who can, that is. Chojiro and Soushi just sit there. "Perfect. Don't move." We don't.  
  
*Flash, pop, click*  
  
"Ok, people. That's a wrap."  
  
We mill around for a few moments, talking to each other. Kaori-chan has decided we need to get pizza for suffering through this. Ken agrees and I give in. Finally the man walks up to us with a print and holds it out. We all crowd around and look the picture over approvingly. No one is blinking, no one is yawning, and not a hair is out of place. A perfect holiday photo. The greeting on the side reads:  
  
Season's Greetings from our family to yours!  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
* okama means 'fag,' a rude way to say homosexual (yes Rikuko is a homophobe)… nobody liked her anyway 


	5. Sweet Talk

Disclaimer: Wait… what am I supposed to write here? Oh yeah. Sleeping with sheep may be hazardous to your health, proceed with caution. You have been warned. (Actually I'm supposed to say that the characters portrayed herein are the property of… well, their respective owners. But sheep are so much funnier.)  
  
Comments: Yeah, it's… more Baby Talk. Bleh. I'm beginning to run a bit dry on ideas. Anything anyone out there wants to see happen? Milestones I'm missing in the life of Kaori? I'm open to ideas! Help me! Or I could just stop all together… regain my sanity… get some sleep… but why? Um… forgive me for the lameness of Omi's section. I wanted it to be not lame, but failed. Oops. Berate me later. Ok, so enjoy. Marty is going to go and eat a donut and then maybe go to bed. Probably not, but she should. (Hear that Marty, even you think you should go to bed.) Ok, so R&R, please! And I'm serious about suggestions! Either e-mail me or write them in the review, I don't care. But I'm running out of juice. *Glag*  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
Another coughing fit. It feels like my chest is going to explode with each wracking cough. I hate being sick. I hate it, hate it, hate it! I can't go to work, I can't go outside, I can't go on missions, and worst of all I can't see Kao-chan -or- Aya. I'm miserable and all alone. I've been in this bed for three days and it doesn't look like I'm going to be leaving anytime soon. I have to be completely recovered. We can't take any chances.  
  
I grumble and fall back onto the sweaty, stuffy pillows. I want to see them so badly. I want to hold Kaori in my arms and feel Aya's arms around me. But I can't. That's just the way it is, get used to it. But it still isn't fair that I have to be locked in this room because I caught the flu. If I could just see Aya, I'd be happy. Hell if I could see Omi or Youji it would be better than nothing! But the chance of infecting one of them is too great. And if they get sick and don't know it and are around the baby… if Kaori gets sick…. I don't even want to think about it.  
  
That cold she caught scared the crap out of us. It isn't unusual for babies to get sick, but things are different with Kaori. We could have lost her and we had no idea. See, Kaori isn't like most children. Well obviously. But we have to be so careful now. The doctor who was in charge of her gestation ran some tests after her recovery in the hospital. Turns out her immune system is full of more holes than Swiss cheese. Most children, he'd explained, gather antibodies and immunities as they develop in their mother's womb, the exchange of fluids and nutrition allows this, letting the baby inherit many of the mother's defenses against disease. Kaori didn't have a mother. Kaori had an artificial womb and a large machine. To top that off Kaori didn't have anyone to breast-feed her either, another way in which children obtain a strong immune system.  
  
The doctor assured us that by the time Kaori was old enough to start school she should have developed a perfectly normal immune system all on her own just through contact with everyday germs around her. But if she get sick now her reactions will most likely be very violent. Any tiny disease or virus could be deadly to her right now. That's why we have to be so careful.  
  
That's why I am locked in this room, unable to see or touch anyone. Of course someone brings me food and meds every few hours, but they don't stay long, and it certainly isn't Aya. A few times he's stood in the doorway and talked with me for a couple minutes, but that isn't nearly enough. I feel like a plague bearer. Then again I suppose that to Kaori that's exactly what I am. That's why I have to get better.  
  
Here comes the coughing again. I should just lie back and go to sleep. Take another dose of NyQuil and nock myself out. Yeah… that's what I'll do.  
  
A few hours later I'm pulled out of my sleep haze by the sound of his voice. I struggle towards wakefulness.  
  
"Aité," he calls, he sounds far away, "Come on, Kenken, I came up here to see you."  
  
I struggle to sit up. "Wha?" I call blearily, opening my eyes. Itai… sickness headache. He's standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. A smile flickers across his face as I struggle to prop myself up against the pillows.  
  
"Hi, koi," I whisper, it's hard to talk what with all the coughing I've been doing.  
  
I realize that he's holding Kaori in his arms, cradled against his chest. My eyes widen. "Should she be here?" I croak.  
  
He looks down at our daughter and then back at me. I can see my need for him reflected in his dark, beautiful eyes. He wants to be with me as badly as I want him to be. He shifts his weight. "I don't think your flu is airborne. Besides we're far enough away."  
  
I stretch out my arms and furrow my eyebrows. "Too far."  
  
He smiles sadly. "Don't tempt me, koi."  
  
"I know," I sigh and lie back with a grunt. I snuffle loudly, trying in vain to clear my sinuses of mucus. I only succeed in giving myself an even worse headache.  
  
"Are you feeling any better?" he asks.  
  
I shrug and stare at the ceiling. Why am I doing that? I should be staring at Aya, getting as much out of him as I can. I sit back up and train my eyes on his lean body. "A little. It would help if I could get a little TLC."  
  
He stares at me for a moment and then says, "Rap music?"  
  
I giggle, the action throws me into a mini coughing fit. "No," I say through my wheezing, "it stands for 'tender, loving, care' in English."  
  
Aya shrugs and shifts Kaori in his arms. She makes a squeaking sound and burbles happily. "Don't use obscure references in other languages. It's confusing."  
  
"Well sheesh, my attempt at humor is DOA, and I guess I'm SOL."  
  
He glares at me, but doesn't say anything. I smile at him sweetly and after a moment he crumbles. "Is there anything you need?"  
  
"Yeah, you on a plate."  
  
"As fun as that sounds I don't think it will help you get better."  
  
"Probably not, but I'm seriously going crazy in here! How much longer do I have to stay like this?" I cry.  
  
"Until you are better, Ken. I don't know how long that's going to be. A few more days, maybe a week or more. You aren't the only one going crazy, aité. Believe me. I want you out of here as much as you do. It's cold sleeping alone," he says softly. God I want to touch him. This is cruel and unusual punishment.  
  
I remember the last time I got sick. Aya was all over me. Doting 24/7. He brought me soup, rubbed my back, held my hair out of my face when I had to hurl, kept me company, read to me, whatever I wanted. It was great. Of course the fact that I was violently ill kinda took the charm off, but it was a million time better than this. I'd do the same for Aya in a heartbeat, but funny thing is… he never gets sick.  
  
"Yeah, well. It's hotter than hell in here. I'm tired of smelling like a sick person," I whine.  
  
"You are a sick person."  
  
"I know, but I'm tired of it!"  
  
"Then concentrate on getting better. Now are you sure there's nothing you want?" he asks again.  
  
I shake my head. "The only things I want I can't have. I think I'll just go back to sleep."  
  
"Suit yourself. I should get back to the shop." He shifts Kaori in her arms and holds her up so that she can see me. "Say bye to Daddy."  
  
She smiles and squeals in delight at seeing me. Her little arms wave wildly and she giggles. Aww, she misses me too. I wave at her and smile. "Bai bai, Kao-chan. Daddy loves you. Daddy loves you so much that he imposes exile upon himself for you, yes he does!" I babble in baby talk. She giggles again.  
  
"Sleep tight, aité. I'll check on you later, ok?"  
  
"I'll be here."  
  
I watch him turn and shut the door softly. I listen as his soft, purposeful footsteps recede down the hallway. Alone again. I fall back onto the pillows once more and stare at the ceiling. I keep Aya in my mind's eye, letting it wander over his body. I haven't touched him in almost four days. Four days without so much as a kiss, so much as a caress. Bleh. I want my koibito.  
  
Snuffling back some more snot that threatens to escape my nose I turn over onto my side and curl up. Oh well, I'll just think about what it will be like when I finally do get my hands on him again. Oh yeah. You just wait, Aya-kun, I'm going to get better. And when I do… oh the possibilities.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
The lurid light from the TV screen flashes on and off, casting strange shadows around the room. I have no idea how late it is. I must have dozed off. I peer blearily around the room. The VCR says that it's only 11:34. The others won't be back for another hour at least.  
  
A little pang of guilt niggles at my stomach. I could have decided to go with them, but for some reason I just didn't want to have any part in this mission. It seemed pointless. One of those missions where you know it isn't going to change anything. I don't often pass when Manx brings us something new, but this time I just didn't want to go… and I hadn't been feeling up to snuff lately anyway, so I stayed home.  
  
I wonder if they'd be done by now if I'd gone along.  
  
The channel on the TV changes rapidly, flashing through several shows and then stopping. Someone else is here?  
  
I prop myself up and look around. Ah, of course. Aya-chan is lying on the floor, facing away from me. Kaori must be curled up against her… or maybe she's asleep in bed by now. It's way past her bedtime. That doesn't always mean she'll go to bed though.  
  
I make a little sound to let Aya know that I'm awake. She peers over her shoulder and blinks sleepily at me. "Did I wake you up with the TV?" she asks softly.  
  
I shake my head. "I don't think so. I just kinda woke up. What are you doing on the floor?"  
  
She turns away and lays her head back down against her arm. "Well, I was in bed, but I couldn't sleep. I never can when I know Ran is still out. I thought I'd watch some TV. Kaori was sleeping with me, and I woke her up so she said she wanted to come along. You were on the couch and I wanted to lie down, so I grabbed the floor."  
  
"Oh," I say, clearing my throat, which is thick with sleep. "Do you want the couch?"  
  
She shakes her head. "No. It's ok."  
  
I lie back against the couch cushions and try to watch the TV, but I find myself watching Aya instead. After a few moments I slide off the couch and crawl towards her. She tilts her head back and watches me.  
  
"Where's Kaori?" I ask, leaning over Aya's side. "There she is." She's curled up against Aya's chest, legs tucked up to her chin. Doesn't look very comfortable to me, but kids never really seem to care. I reach over Aya and run my hand over Kaori's sleeping head. She's so precious, and so big too. I can't believe that she'll be three soon. It seems like we just brought her home….  
  
As I get lost in my reverie over Kaori I suddenly realize that I'm leaning over Ran's little sister, dangerously entwined in her personal space. I pull back and begin to sit up. Aya shifts to look up at me, she's smiling. Her hand reaches up to touch my face, fingers lingering along my cheek. I smile weakly. I feel her hand begin to pull my face downwards, and our lips meet for a moment, softly brushing against each other. A little shiver runs though my body.  
  
It's not the first time we've kissed. No, there was that day in the park when we got 'lost' playing hide and seek with the others and Kao-chan. I don't think we saw them again until around seven o'clock. That was the first time we kissed, the first time Aya told me how fed up she was getting waiting for me to make a move, the first time I let myself be with Aya like we were just two young people who might have something and not like she was Ran's little sister.  
  
Of course since then the awkwardness had only increased, because now I knew for certain that Aya was feeling what I was feeling, and it made it so much harder to try to ignore. Then there was the fact that Aya wanted to do anything but ignore it, and was pretty open about it. I couldn't explain to her how it wasn't going to work, how Ran was going to kill me if he found out. She laughed at this. She wasn't around to see Aya-kun. She doesn't know. She's never seen him kill, seen him tear his own life apart to keep her safe and happy.  
  
As our lips part I pull back and look down at her sadly. She's so pretty. Her eyes are soft and kind. She isn't like other girls.  
  
"Aya-chan… you know how…," I begin, but she cuts me off covering my mouth with the tips of her fingers.  
  
"Omi, can't you just enjoy it? Ran's not even here. Do you really think he'd care so much?" she asks, her eyes intense and slightly angry.  
  
I sigh and shake my head, pushing her hand away. "I can't explain, Aya."  
  
She turns away again, rolling back onto her side. I stare at her back. I want to pursue my feelings for her, but I don't want to complicate things. I can't afford that right now, but the way I feel I can't afford to keep pushing her away either.  
  
I make a decision and curl up behind her, wrapping one arm around her stomach, pulling her closer to me. I breathe softly against the back of her head. She pulls my other arm under her head and uses it as a pillow. It's nice to be like this. I hear Kaori snuffle and twist in Aya's arm. We don't talk. We just lie on the floor together.  
  
After a long time I softly say, "Aya, if we do this, it has to be between us, and only us. Ok?"  
  
She shifts under my arm and places her hand over mine on her stomach. "I guess I'll have to take what I can get," she says sarcastically.  
  
"Look, at least for now that's all I can give you. Maybe… maybe in a little while we can tell Ran, but right now I don't want him to know. I'm sorry, Aya-chan."  
  
She shrugs. "Like I said, I'll take what I can get."  
  
I squeeze her a little closer. I like the way she feels against me. So warm, so soft… all curves. We doze off; the flash of the TV screen flickers behind my eyelids.  
  
It isn't until I hear the sound of voices, voices much louder than the TV, that I realize I fell completely asleep. I force myself into wakefulness and listen.  
  
"I wonder if everyone's in bed. It's quiet." Ran's voice.  
  
"I don't know. I thought I heard the TV. I'll go check." Ken's voice.  
  
Shit. I sit up, pulling away from Aya-chan, scrambling sleepily back towards the couch. I can hear Ken getting closer. I give up on trying to get back on the couch and slump against it, feigning sleep. At least I'm no longer entangled with Aya-chan's body.  
  
"Well, who dropped the can of sleeping gas in here?" Ken asks quietly. I can feel his eyes peering around the room. "And how the hell did Omittchi end up like that? Weird. Oh well, might as well wake them up."  
  
Ken walks first to Aya-chan and shakes her awake. "Omi?" I hear her say blearily.  
  
"No, it's me," Ken says.  
  
"Oh… Ken? Are you guys back already?"  
  
"It would appear so. Hey, Omittchi, wake it up, kiddo!" he calls to me. I begin to rub my eyes and pretend to wake up, getting shakily to my feet. Aya-chan is staring at me from the floor. I look back at her and shrug.  
  
Aya walks in. "Here you are."  
  
"They were all passed out on the floor. Too much TV," Ken quips, bending to pick up Kao-chan.  
  
She yawns wide and says, "Hi, Daddy."  
  
"Hi, sweetness. Let's get you off to bed. Night you two," he calls over his shoulder to Aya and I. Ran nods to both of us and follows Ken out of the room.  
  
I glance over at Aya-chan. She looks back at me for a minute and then smiles slowly. "Good night, Omi-kun. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah. Good night."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
I walk slowly into the living room of the tiny apartment I share with Asami. We've been living here for over two years now, and sometimes I still miss the Koneko. Not often, but sometimes. I lean against the wall and watch my wife braid Kaori's long, dark hair.  
  
Fujimaya and Ken went out of town for a little vacation this weekend, and Omi and Aya-chan have enough to deal with what with her having the twins and all. Cute little kids those two. Anyway, so Kaori's with us for the weekend. I take a drag on my cigarette. I thought I was going to kick this habit? Oh well.  
  
Asami's fingers work quickly, pulling Kaori's long hair into two straight French braids. She loves having the kids over, she had a big family. Something like four siblings. I can't imagine. I've met all of them, but I can't keep their name and faces straight.  
  
The tater-tot bounces impatiently in her lap. "Are you almost done, Aunt Asami?"  
  
"Almost, Kao-chan, just be patient," she says, smiling. She's so beautiful when she smiles. The way her eyes crinkle behind those geeky glasses of hers…. I sigh, closing my eyes against the flood of emotions that I have to constantly hold a bay every time I see her. It's so unfair… so goddamned unfair.  
  
She finishes Kaori's braids. "Ok, you're done."  
  
"Whee! Thank's Aunt Asami. Hey, Uncle Youji, are you ready? Remember you promised to take me to the park to feed the ducks," she cries running up to me and yanking on my pants leg. I watch Asami watch Kaori and see the longing in her eyes. It breaks my heart.  
  
"Yeah, of course I remember, tater-tot. Go get your coat and we'll go," I answer not looking at her.  
  
She runs off without another word.  
  
We tried to have children. I thought giving fatherhood another try would be a good thing. Asami wanted kids so badly. She loved Kenji, loved having him around, but of course there's not a whole lot of joint in that joint custody agreement. Nothing worked. She kept miscarrying. Three miscarriages, if that's not enough to break any parent's heart I don't know what is. Of course in the end we went to the doctors. Now I wish we never had. Ignorance is bliss after all….  
  
I walk across the room and take her hand in mine, pulling her up from the couch. I put one arm around her back and we waltz around the room. I improvise music. She laughs, throwing her head back.  
  
"You're such a goof-ball, Kudou," she says musically. "What did a guy like you ever see in a straight laced woman like me?"  
  
Everything. How can she even ask? She's perfect, more perfect than Asuka, and it isn't easy to out do a dead woman. I pull her closer to me and whisper in her ear, "I saw someone who was exactly what I wanted. White collar job and all."  
  
"You are soooo charming," she quips sarcastically. She smiles at me brightly, but as I gaze into her eyes sadness passes between us, smiles fading. She hugs me tightly and buries her face in my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Youji."  
  
"Never apologize. You've made me happy, and that's enough. I don't need more," I whisper. And it's true. She's somehow made up for all the times before. She's made up for everything. But what's going to make up for this? We stand apart a little and I take her face in my hands. "Are you coming with us?"  
  
She shakes her head and sighs. "No. I don't think so. I don't feel very good today. You know how it goes." She places a hand on her abdomen and casts her eyes away from me. Yeah, I know how it goes. I kiss her forehead.  
  
She glances at the cigarette between my fingers. "I thought you were going to kick that habit."  
  
I shrug. "You know how it goes."  
  
"I don't want you following in my footsteps," she says seriously.  
  
I smile distantly and take a drag. "Wouldn't be so bad."  
  
She looks up at me. Her eyes are severe. I really shouldn't say things like that; it only upsets her.  
  
"Don't say that, Youji. We've talked about this. When it's over… life will go on. Just make sure you remember that," she says softly, yanking on a piece of my hair. She smiles and walks away. "I'm going to go take a nap. See you when you get back."  
  
"Sure."  
  
Kaori comes running down the hallway and bumps into Asami. "Sorry, Aunt Asami. Aren't you coming with us?"  
  
"No, sweetheart, I'm going to take nap instead. I'm kinda tired today."  
  
"Oh, ok. Have a good nap." She watches Asami as she walks slowly to our room and shuts the door. Then her eyes, eyes so like Aya's, become trained on me. She wiggles her nose and comes to take my hand. As we walk to the door, slipping off our slippers and putting on our shoes she looks up at me. "Uncle Yotan?"  
  
"Yes, tater-tot?"  
  
"Aunt Asami is very sick, isn't she?"  
  
I catch my breath and close my eyes. She's too damn perceptive, that one. After a moment I regain my composure and look down at the little girl I love like my own. "Yes, Kaori-chan, she is."  
  
"Daddy and Papa told me. They said she might not get better. What's wrong with her?"  
  
I blink my eyes and take her hand again, leading her down the porch of our apartment floor. "Do you know what cancer is, Kao-chan?"  
  
She shakes her head, her tight braids bobbing back and forth.  
  
"Well, cancer is a very bad thing that some people, very nice, wonderful people get. Aunt Asami has cancer in the place where she should be able to make babies. It's called 'ovarian cancer.'"  
  
Kaori thinks about this for a few moments and then looks up at me her usually narrow eyes very wide. "What will happen if Aunt Asami doesn't get better? Will she die?"  
  
I take a deep breath and face the inevitable answer that haunts me night and day. "Yes."  
  
"You'll be very sad then, huh, Uncle Youji."  
  
"I will be very sad, but grief is a part of life. You live on for the people you love."  
  
"I'll be sad too. I think that everyone will be sad. I hope it doesn't happen for a long, long time," she murmurs.  
  
"Me too, Kao-chan, me too. But maybe we can all help each other when we are sad," I say, squeezing her hand.  
  
She squeezes back. "Yeah. I'll help you and you'll help me. It will be ok, Uncle Youji, because Aunt Asami is so wonderful now, that she'll be that wonderful forever. Even if she does die."  
  
I fight back tears. The kid's so… I don't know, but she hits home. I smile sadly. "I love you, Kao-chan."  
  
"I love you, too, Uncle Yotan."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
My eyes slowly open to the first soft glow of sunlight that pours in through the partially drawn blinds. I breathe deeply, taking in the warm comfort that surrounds me. Sitting up I run a hand through my hair and glance down at the person I love more than life itself. Didn't we say there weren't going to be any clichés? Oh well, it was my rule. I can break it if I want.  
  
I watch his sides rise and fall with his soft breathing. I ache with love and longing just looking at him. He moans softly in his sleep and mumbles something about eggs. I laugh under my breath. Ken has a habit of talking in his sleep. I slide back down into the covers and slip my arms around his warm, beautiful body. He squirms as I pull him closer and press my lips to his in a tender kiss. I don't want him to wake up, but I can't help myself. I caress his face, feeling his smooth skin beneath my fingers. He wiggles against me and his eyes squinch up.  
  
"Eggs… on toast," he murmurs. The tone of his voice makes it seem as if he's worried about these eggs.  
  
I chuckle and kiss him again, nuzzling his cheek with my nose. "No eggs, just me."  
  
There is a pause and then he wiggles again. "Koi…."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
He takes a deep breath; he's still asleep. "Hi."  
  
"Hi, aité. I'm going to get up now," I whisper to him, kissing his forehead.  
  
"K," he murmurs and then burrows deeper into the covers. I gaze at him adoringly for a few more moments, kiss his sweet lips one more time, and then release him, rolling over out of bed.  
  
It's cold out here. I grab a shirt and tighten the strings of my loose pajama pants, heading for the door. The door opens and shuts behind me, making a soft clicking sound. The carpet tickles my bare feet as I make my way to the bathroom. It's so quiet here in the mornings now. No tiny ones running around anymore. Not since Omi, Aya, and the twins moved into Youji and Asami's old apartment, and Youji moved back in with us. That's the way I want it to be. I don't want Youji living alone. Not right now.  
  
Youji…. He's probably still asleep. At least he got over the insomnia. Sometimes life is just shit… just shit. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair as I switch on the bathroom light and make my way to the sink. I turn the tap on and begin to brush my teeth.  
  
The door creaks open slowly and Kaori comes in, rubbing her eyes. She's an early riser, just like me. Without looking at me she bumps me with her hip to make me move over. "Morning," she yawns under her breath.  
  
I don't say anything. I'm brushing my teeth. I watch her in the mirror as she reaches for her toothbrush and begins to brush her teeth as well. She's growing up so fast. She's almost ten, almost a double digit. Her long, messy hair falls over her shoulders and she sweeps it back with one hand as she spits into the sink. I tap her shoulder to let her know I need to do the same and she shifts out of my way.  
  
I rinse my mouth and reach for the hairbrush on the counter coming to stand behind my daughter. She spits one last time into the sink and as she reaches for her cup I run my hand down the back of her head, pulling my fingers through the snarls. She winces, and fills her cup with water, rinsing and spitting.  
  
I run the brush down the length of her dark hair and she tries to pull away. "Hold still," I grumble.  
  
"You're pulling," she whines. "You always pull. Daddy never pulls."  
  
I roll my eyes. Of course, Daddy never does anything wrong. I remember when it was me she used to cry for. When I was the one who could do no wrong. I put my other hand on the back of her head to keep the hair from pulling. I work slowly at the tangles. "Is that better?"  
  
"Yes," she says grumpily, crossing her arms. I take my time running the brush through her hair. I don't know why, but I love brushing Kaori's hair. It's so long and smooth and dark. It's just like Ken's hair, soft and warm. She smells like Ken's shampoo and sandalwood incense. Ken claims that he read somewhere that the smell of sandalwood increases brain cell activity, so he burns it in Kaori's room every night before she falls asleep. I think it makes her smell like a hippy, but whatever.  
  
She stands patiently before me, hands clasped on the counter. When I look up from her hair I notice that she's staring at me intensely in the mirror. I stare back, both of our faces are blank masks that betray no emotion. We play this stupid game almost every morning. Our eyes bore passively into each other in the mirror, identical eyes, identical glares.  
  
Suddenly she bursts out into a fit of giggles and smiles a big goofy grin that looks just like Ken's. She laughs and laughs just like my koibito.  
  
"I win," I say, continuing my brushing.  
  
She tries to compose herself and glare again, but her face cracks and she giggles some more. "You always win. I'm just not grumpy enough."  
  
"Who's grumpy?" I say incredulously. I start to tickle her mercilessly, growling into her ear. She squeals in delight and gasps for air. She kicks and giggles.  
  
"Papa! St-stop!" she cries twisting in my hands.  
  
I stop and peer down into her face as she tips her head back and looks up at me. I lean down and she stands on her tiptoes until our noses practically touch. She furrows her eyebrows and grr's at me. I kiss the tip of her nose loudly.  
  
"Eww," she cries, rubbing her hand across her nose. "Wet kiss!"  
  
I roll my eyes. "Nuh uh."  
  
"Uh huh, you did so give me a wet kiss. Bleh."  
  
I pat the top of her head and look at her in the mirror again. "You want breakfast?"  
  
She shakes her head. "Nope. I'll eat when Daddy gets up."  
  
"Me too." She smiles again and then dodges away from me, running out of the bathroom. I shake my head. She's so spazzy. Not unlike a certain someone who was dreaming about eggs this morning.  
  
I stretch and walk quietly out of the bathroom, down the hallway, down the stairs and into the living room. Kaori peers at me over the top of the couch. She waves the remote control mockingly in the air.  
  
"Cartoons," she says definitively, turning around, her head disappearing behind the cushions. I grumble and walk towards her.  
  
"No. Stock market report."  
  
She shakes her head. "Nope. I got here first. Cartoons."  
  
"Stock market," I growl dangerously.  
  
"Cartoons."  
  
"We'll just see about that."  
  
She watches me with apprehensive eyes as I walk to the TV unit and turn on the VCR. I switch it to TV and grab the VCR remote. I turn on the stock market report. Koari hisses air through her nose and changes the TV channel, causing the picture to go static.  
  
We glare at each other again. This way neither of us is getting to watch what we want. I put my hands on my hips. She crosses her against her chest and sits back. Stubborn. Can't imagine where she got that from.  
  
"Fine," I say at last. "We'll compromise. Let me watch the stock market report for ten minutes and then I'll watch cartoons with you."  
  
She eyes me warily. "You'll watch them –with- me? You won't leave and go read the paper?"  
  
Crap. I'd forgotten about the paper. She sees the hesitancy flicker in my eyes and she steels herself again. "Nope. It's static then. Either you watch with me or we watch nothing."  
  
I want my stocks. I chew on the inside of my lip and then flick the VCR off. "Deal."  
  
She smiles indulgently and tosses me the remote control. I grumble as I sit down on the couch and she pulls her self into my lap, wiggling until she's sandwiched herself between my legs. She sits Indian style and leans her head back against my chest. The weight feels nice. I can still remember when her whole body could curl up against my chest…. My little Kaori-chan. I kiss the top of her head and she takes one of my arms, hugging it tightly. We watch the stock report in silence.  
  
And as my ten minutes ends and we switch the channel over to cartoons, I realize that I'd much rather be sitting here with the daughter I share with Ken than reading the paper. I run a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back from her face and letting them spring forward again. She tips her head back and smiles at me.  
  
"I love you, Kao-chan."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
I squeeze her against me and blow on the back of her neck. Now who have I heard say that before? "Yeah, you know, huh? What kind of response is that?"  
  
She laughs and tries to pull away, but I'm holding her too tightly. "Well it's true!" she cries. "You tell me you love me all the time, even if you don't say it out loud so much."  
  
I'm taken aback. That's not the kind of thing you expect to hear from a nine year old. I gaze down at her and she grins at me. "You're a very special little girl, Kao-chan," I say softly.  
  
"Yeah, I know that too."  
  
I shake my head and snort. Smart-ass. Guess we know where she get that from, too.  
  
  
  
*** Hey, hey please go read my other fics too. No one has appreciated the UBA, I feel sad. It' sooo terribly amusing. And I like the Series of Unfortunate Events stories too, sure there are only two so far, but I find them amusing. OH, THE BLATANT SELF-PROMOTION!! IT OVERWHELMS!! 


	6. Back Talk

Disclaimer: I take no credit for the creation of these characters or the original concept they are a part of.  
  
Comments: Hm. More Baby Talk… at long last. Sorry it took me so long!! (I've been distracted and recently moved back in with my mother, which pretty much just sucked ALL my creative energy away.) I don't know how I managed to let this story get so out of hand. Too many timelines and sub- plots to keep track of. Oh well, I try. **grins sheepishly** (Sorry about killing Asami, for those of you who whined at me, but… Youji couldn't really live in marital bliss forever, now could he? And I liked her too much for them to have a falling out. So I killed her. Sorry.) This time around (since I have gone beyond the nice number of 5 for chapters) I am reversing the POV sequence. So it will go Ran, Youji, Omi, Ken. Hope that's ok. R&R!! Or else there will be much pain.  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
Holding her in my hands I am overcome by the sense of how fragile life is. Life is something I have learned to take for granted, something that I can give and take. It is my duty to do so. And yet, here in my arms I cradle life, protecting it. I will go on taking life, destroying endless, countless lives to protect this one. She is more important than any other life in the whole world. "I love you, Kaori-chan," I say softly, letting her little hand close tightly around one of my fingers.  
  
She's strong, and I will make sure she becomes stronger still. The strongest, so that one day she can protect herself when I am no longer here.  
  
I lower her gently into the tiny tub full of lukewarm water. She kicks gently and coos, sucking on one of her fists. She likes the water. I prop her up, my hand flat against her tiny back as I pour water over her chubby little body. She jerks and looks around, looks up at me and smiles, her whole mouth opening wide. I smile back and shake my head. She likes to watch my red hair as it moves. She squeals delightedly and reaches up to grab at one of my eartails.  
  
I pull my head back so that she can't get a good handful. "Oh, no. I love you, but not enough to let you pull my hair out. That wouldn't make Daddy very happy, now would it? No, he likes my hair almost as much as you do," I say under my breath.  
  
She raspberries at me and then chews on her tongue. Silly. I raspberry back. Oh the things you do for the love of a child. I can't believe how different things are now. I see the world in a new way. Everything I see makes me think of the tiny, perfect life that I am now bathing. War, pollution, global warming, child abuse, domestic violence, drug traffic, gangs, hate crimes, segregation, terrorism, ethnic cleansing… these are things I see everyday on the news. Realities of the world we live in. And I've seen worse with my own eyes. Every time I think of these things I only want to wrap her up in my arms and take her to a place where these things can never touch her.  
  
I know I can't do that. No such place exists. Not yet. But that's why I am fighting. I will make the world safe for my child… for Ken's child… for our child. I have a reason again, a reason to call myself the leader of Weiβ.  
  
I fill a small cup with water and pour it gently over Kaori's head, regulating the water flow with my hand. I shield her face. I don't want to get water in her eyes.  
  
I squeeze a small amount of baby shampoo onto my hand and massage my palms together. The scent drifts on the air, the smell of baby. I love it. I begin to slowly work the lather in my hands onto Kaori's head. She giggles and squirms. She always giggles and squirms. She splashes the water with her open palms, sending little sprays all over my shirt, but I don't mind. I can change later.  
  
When she is covered in delicate bubbles I tip her back and gently rinse her off. I shield her eyes with my hand again. It says 'no tears' but I don't trust the baby shampoo. I smile at her and tickle her tummy. She kicks and chews on her tongue. Those teeth are starting to come in in force. What a cutie.  
  
Lifting her from the wash tub I wrap her in a clean towel, wiping her off. She fusses. She doesn't like the cold air on her skin after being in the warm water. I can't blame her. It must be much warmer in there than out here. I tuck her up against my shoulder and support her little bottom. She snuggled against me and burbles happily. I rub her back with my other hand. She's so little. My hand fits over her whole back. She's so warm.  
  
I walk out of the room that used to be Ken's with her. I carry her slowly down the hall, humming softly. She snuffles my shoulder happily and grabs at my shirt. It's still wet. I should change. I turn around and walk back up the hallway towards the room I share with Ken. As I open the door I see him sitting on our bed, his head in his hands. He looks up at us and smiles quickly. It isn't a real smile.  
  
"Oh, hey you two. Are you done with bath time already?" he asks brightly.  
  
I nod. Kaori squeals as she hears Ken's voice. I walk over the bed and sit next to my husband. Strange… it's still strange to think of him like that. "Are you ok?"  
  
He looks a little startled. Ken doesn't realize how bad he is at covering up his feelings. "Yeah, I'm fine," he says thinly. "Why do you ask?"  
  
I run my hand over his cheek and push his hair out of his eyes. I look at him intently. "You look a little… tired."  
  
He sighs. "Yeah, I guess I am a little tired. Nothing major though."  
  
"Why were you sitting in here by yourself then?" I ask pointedly.  
  
He looks at me forlornly and lets the mask drop. He shakes his head sadly and reaches for Kaori. I let him take her and he cradles her against his chest, holding her gently, but firmly. I put my arm around his shoulders and lean close to kiss his ear. I nuzzle his soft, warm hair, god it feels so good to be close to him. He leans against me.  
  
"I don't know, Ran. It's just… every once in a while I get to thinking…." He trails off.  
  
"That's dangerous for you," I say smugly, trying to get him to smile. The corners of his lips twitch slightly and he nods.  
  
"Yeah, well. I wonder if we made the right decision…with Kaori, I mean," his arms reflexively tighten around our daughter. "I love her more than anything, but was I wrong to want this? Was it wrong of me to insist that we have a child? Will our lives be fair for her?"  
  
I shake my head and look down. "Oh, Ken…."  
  
"I could never let her go, not now, but… every once in a while I have to wonder if I'm the most selfish bastard on the face of the earth," he says, contempt in his voice.  
  
I tighten my arm around his shoulders and pull him closer to me, taking his face in my hand so that I can look into his eyes. I kiss his forehead gently and then pull back. "You're worried that our being a part of Weiβ will put Kaori in danger, that it will make her life harder because of the danger it puts us into. You wonder if we should tell her someday, and if we do, how. And if we don't… well I can't imagine that's going to be the case. You want to keep her safe from all the harshness of life, of our lives."  
  
"Of course. I… I never thought about it before. I just wanted to have a child with you so badly. I never even listened to you when you told me it was a bad idea. I'm so selfish!" he hisses.  
  
I shake my head and caress his cheek. "No, Ken, you aren't. You are honest. I admit that I always thought this was a bad idea, but now, like you I could never give her up. I could never go back to the way things were. And I've realized something. Having Kaori, for me, only validates my role in Weiβ that much more. I have a reason to fight again, and it's a lot healthier than my last one," I say smiling again.  
  
He smiles at me in response, and leans forward kissing me sharply. "You always know what to say. I love you so much."  
  
I ruffle his hair and kiss him again. His breath tickles my face. "Now give me back the baby," I growl.  
  
"Fine," he grumbles, handing her back to me. She fidgets and wiggles. Without speaking we both crawl up onto the bed and I sit between Ken's legs, leaning my head back against his chest. He rubs my shoulders for a moment and then runs his fingers though my hair. He wraps his legs around my waist and folds them in my lap. We must make an odd picture. I lift Kaori above my head and smile up at her. She giggles and drools a little. It's good to be loved.  
  
I listen to Ken's breathing, and eventually the three of us begin to doze off. It's these moments that mean the most these days. The quiet times free of the shop and free of Weiβ. I snuggle closer to him, taking in his scent. He grumbles sleepily and wraps his arms around me. It's awkward, especially with a baby on my chest, but it's perfect nonetheless. Portrait of a family…perfect, absolutely perfect.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Noo!" Kaori screams at the top of her lungs. "I don't waaaaannaaaa!!"  
  
Jesus, who could have thought that someone so small could make such a fucking huge racket? I cover my ears. I glance over at Rikuko who rolls her eyes elaborately and then gives me the evil eye. She did not want to come along today. She shifts our newborn son in her arms and walks quickly away, towards the window, away from Kaori's tantrum.  
  
Ken is at a loss. Poor guy. He's hovering over her, trying to get her to quiet down, asking what's wrong, attempting to pick her up, but it's all no use. No use whatsoever. She just kicks and screams and pushes him away. I can tell he's getting mad. His eyes are getting all squinty and his mouth is tight. He's never been very good at disciplining Kao-chan, but he has such a short temper. It's kinda funny actually. Kaori knows how to push all the buttons. And here we thought today meant that the terrible twos were over. Good luck.  
  
"Kaori Fujimaya-Hidaka, if you don't pull yourself together and quit acting like a spoiled little girl I am going to let your father take care of this!" Ken threatens. That usually shuts her up. Not this time.  
  
"No!! I don't wanna! You can' make me, is my birthday, you can' make me!" she screams again.  
  
"Kaori!" Ken yells.  
  
Aya looks over from the table where he is arranging… something. Plates? Presents? A house of cards? God only knows what Aya is doing. He strides quickly past Ken. "I'll handle this." Without another word he scoops Kaori up by the back of her shirt and carries her out of the room and up the stairs.  
  
I chuckle to myself. Her eyes were just about as big as my fists. That shut her up. Aya has instilled the fear of God into that child. Bet she wishes she'd listened to Ken now. Although I do kinda wonder what the fuss was all about.  
  
I mean, why would you expect a little girl like Kaori to acquiesce to wearing a frilly little dress on her birthday when she has a father like Ken, who never dresses her in anything but boy's clothes? Kinda like a double standard if you ask me. But she's their daughter. And it shows.  
  
I look around the room. Omi is hooked into the computer, busily typing away, most likely getting some last minute research done on our next mission. He's so diligent. I never understood that. Ken sighs and wanders away into the kitchen shaking his head. And of course Aya-chan is sitting at the table, finishing whatever Aya-kun had been doing until his paternal duties called him away. Rikuko is still sanding by herself with our son, Kenji, at the window. I should go and talk to her. I know that being here makes her uncomfortable. Sometimes I wonder whatever inspired us to get married in the first place. It seemed like such a good idea at the time…. I do love her, it's just we don't seem to have as much in common as we thought we did. I sigh.  
  
Crossing the room I run my hand over the back of the couch. The feeling is so familiar. I really miss this place sometimes.  
  
"Hey," I say softly coming up behind Rikuko and putting my arms around her waist. She's still slightly bigger than usual from the baby. But I don't mind, not at all. I loved it when she was pregnant. She always looked so content and comfortable. I think the postpartum has been a little rough on her. I run a hand over her slightly swollen tummy.  
  
She grumbles and shifts. "Don't poke at my fat," she says under her breath.  
  
"I'm not poking, and it isn't fat, it's your 'mommy tummy,'" I say softly into her ear.  
  
She sighs and leans back against me. "Yeah, well."  
  
We stand together for a few moments and I rock us gently to and fro. I look over her shoulder into the sleeping face of my son. He's so little and red and funny looking. He's quiet to. "What a good boy," I whisper.  
  
Rikuko smiles. "Unlike –some- people's children," she says under her breath. I try to ignore the blatantly rude jab she just made at Ken and Aya. I don't understand how she can be so unforgiving of other people's faults. It's like life is some sort of competition and she has to be the one winning. I'll never get that about her.  
  
"Now, now," I say, "Kaori was a good baby too. Kenji isn't a toddler yet, so I think it's a little premature for us to be making judgment calls."  
  
She pulls away from me and turns around. "There you go again, you always do this!" she hisses.  
  
"Do what?" I say, taken aback.  
  
"Stand up for them. You're always on their side, on the side of those people you work with. You never agree with me, you never take my side. Oh no, what would I know, what loyalty do I deserve? I'm just your wife! It's much more important to stand up for the ideals and imperfections of your –coworkers-. You have to defend them from me, the wicked witch," she snaps, beginning to shake. Is she going to cry?!  
  
"Rikuko, that's not true! That's not what I meant at all. You know how important you are to me. You and Kenji will always come first." I reach for her. She pulls back.  
  
"Oh sure. That's why you spend all your time with us," she hisses sarcastically. "You're never home. You are out all night with these people! I never know where you are or what you are doing. Don't make me laugh, Kudou, I know where I stand in your life."  
  
I put my hand on my hips. "Now you are just being unreasonable. Stop acting like a child, Rikuko."  
  
"Oh, that's a good laugh coming from you! Me act like a child… look at yourself," she snaps.  
  
It is at this point that I realize we are being watched out of the corners of three pairs of eyes. I glance around quickly and then lean in close to my wife. "I don't think this is the place to talk about this."  
  
"Fine," she hisses. "Here you take him. I need to get some air." She deposits Kenji into my arms and walks briskly from the room. I hear her footsteps recede down the stairs. Holding Kenji in my arms I think about how messed up my life is becoming. I look down at my infant son and smile.  
  
I'm a father. It's weird. It's like being in love so hard it hurts and not wanting or getting anything out of it. I bounce him in my arms and blow on his face. He squinches up his eyes and sticks his tongue halfway out. He's so cute. Just like me.  
  
"What was all that about?" Ken asks suddenly. I look up and shrug.  
  
"Ah, nothing really. Rikuko hasn't been very… pleasant lately. Postpartum depression, or something. She'll get over it."  
  
Ken rolls his eyes. "Postpartum nothing, she needs a new personality that's the real issue."  
  
"Hey," I snap, "Even if she can be a baka she's still my wife, so lay off, Ken."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, man."  
  
A few minutes later Aya returns leading a very subdued looking Kaori-chan by the hand. She's wearing the dress, but she doesn't look like she likes it.  
  
"Aren't you pretty, tater-tot," I call smiling at her.  
  
She doesn't look at me. She keeps her eyes on the floor. I wonder what Aya said to her. Whatever it was, it worked. Poor tater-tot, having Aya as my leader is bad enough, having him as a parent must be brutal. But then again, deep down inside somewhere… he's a pushover waiting to happen when it comes to Kaori. She looks too much like Ken for Aya's good. I chuckle again.  
  
"Where's Rikuko?" Aya asks.  
  
I "Getting some air. She'll be back soon."  
  
"Should we start without her?"  
  
I open my mouth to say something, but am cut off. "No need to, I'm back," she says, walking into the room. She smiles sweetly. Too sweetly. "So, cake or presents?"  
  
"Presents!" Kaori cries, suddenly coming to life at Aya's side. She tugs on his hand and pulls him towards the table. We all laugh. She sits importantly in a chair and we crowd around the table.  
  
"Which one first?" Ken asks ruffling her hair. Somehow with the hair… the dress just looks ridiculous now, but whatever.  
  
"BIG one!" she cries pointing excitedly at the rather odd shaped package on the floor.  
  
"Ok, are you sure? You don't want to save it for last?" Ken asks raising an eyebrow.  
  
Kaori furrows her eyebrows and runs her tongue over her teethe. This is a big decision when you are three. "Well… ok… then the one fum Uncle Omi first," she says in defeat.  
  
"Don't sound so excited," Omi says, giggling. He puts a largish box in front of Kaori. She pokes at it and then puts her ear to it.  
  
"S'not alive…," she says. She then savagely rips the paper from the box and opens it. Her eyes get really big. "Sugoi!" she squeals taking it out. Oh man, is that what I think it is? Yeah, it's a cowboy hat. Who on earth would buy a little girl a cowboy hat? That would be our Omi Tsukiyono. But then again she loves it, so I guess it wasn't a bad idea after all. She puts it on her head and tightens the string under her chin. She's going to wear it for the rest of the day, I can tell.  
  
"Cool, Uncle Omi! Domo, domo, domo!" she cries hugging his arm.  
  
He giggles. "You're welcome, Kao-chan."  
  
We go through the presents one at a time. A heart necklace from Aya-chan, one of those dolls with the growing hair from Rikuko (they're kinda creepy if you ask me…), a Kitty-chan backpack, underwear ("Thaaaanks, Papa."), a soccer ball and Argentina jersey set from Ken (predictable, but boy is she ever excited), the usual collection of little toys and games, etc…. Now for the big present. It's from me.  
  
"Wha is it, wha is it?!" she asks, jumping up and down.  
  
"A big pile of sock!" I cry.  
  
She looks at me and rolls her eyes. "Nu uh!"  
  
"Well I oughta know, cause I got it," I say back.  
  
"It better not be," she grumbles. We all laugh at this. She's so candid. I wish I could be a kid again. Oh well.  
  
"Go on and open it if you want to know so bad," Ken says, leaning into the crook of Aya's arm. They really do go well together. Things were so different once, and yet... I can't imagine things any other way now. Oh well, no use dwelling on the past. I cradle my son closer to my body and nudge Rikuko with my toe. She looks over at me and smiles. Good she finally got to enjoy herself.  
  
Kaori attacks the butcher paper I wrapped my gift in with a fierceness that is rather animalistic. When she gets all the paper off she stands back and stares at what she has uncovered. We all kinda stare.  
  
"Umm… Uncle Youji…? Wha is it?" she asks at length.  
  
"Oh, well it's one of those indoor jungle gym things… you know with all the fabric and the holes and the hoops and stuff…."  
  
She raises and eyebrow and turns around to look at me. "It's a pile of stuff."  
  
"Yeah, well it needs to be put together. But I'll leave that up to your dads," I say, winking at her. "I kinda lost the instructions…."  
  
"Gee, thank's Youji," Ken and Aya say in tandem. Too weird.  
  
"Well, it's cool anyway, Uncle Youji. Domo, domo!" she says happily coming over to hug my legs.  
  
"Anytime, tater-tot."  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
This room is so damn cold. The more people who come in the colder it gets. It's no supposed to be like that. I feel alone here. Aya and the twins stayed at home. She didn't want to bring them. She knew they wouldn't understand. They are too young. Everyone feels alone here.  
  
I don't exactly know what to do with myself. I have been a witness to death so many times that it has lost it's meaning for me. At least I thought that it had. It's different when you look upon the death of evil men and when you look upon the death of someone you care about. Someone who didn't deserve to die. There are evil people everywhere, and in this room are collected the mourners of one less good person in the world. I want to leave.  
  
I want to run home and wrap Aya in my arms and hold her until the world ends. I can't imagine… I can't even begin to imagine what Youji is feeling now. And he's been though this before too. How cruel the world is.  
  
I glance over to where Youji is standing. He hasn't moved the entire time. Not since this began. He's just stood there, staring at her face. Staring at her peaceful form. It's been so hard to watch him slowly unravel these past few months. Ever since Asami was rushed to the hospital that night he's been coming apart. She never left the hospital again. What hurts the most is how cheerful she was through the whole ordeal. She never pitied herself. The tears she shed were always for Youji. She felt so guilty about leaving him.  
  
I shiver. It's cold in here. I watch as Ken and Ran walk to Youji and each put a hand on his shoulder. They say something to him. Ken embraces him and begins to cry. Youji's tears are all used up. He has no more to shed. Let Ken shed them for him then. Youji pats Ken on the back, he's trying to comfort him. Oh, Youji… why do you have to be that way? Ran takes Ken's arm and pulls him away and they retreat together to some secluded part of the room. I should go to Youji. But… I can't.  
  
Kaori is left standing in the wake of her fathers at Youji's side. She looks so strange dressed all in black. Her hair is in two neat French braids. She asked Aya to do them for her like that especially, but she wouldn't say why. She's a funny little girl. Too deep for her own good I think. She will be easily hurt, our Kao-chan. She says nothing to her grieving Uncle Yotan, she only takes his hand gently in her own and squeezes it softly. The faintest smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. She turns and faces the casket with him, stoically facing the grief with him. Rikuko took Kenji out of town so that he couldn't attend the funeral. The bitch. I hate her.  
  
This is Koari's first experience with death. Instinctively I know it will not be her last. With a family like ours that is unavoidable. Ken and Ran are going to tell her soon. At least they keep saying they will. I wonder. She is smarter than your average nine year old. She's suspicious, she always has been. "Daddy? Are you a superhero?" I remember that conversation. I smile in spite of myself.  
  
The mourners come and go; time goes by. Eventually the room is empty except for us. We are the last to leave. Ken and Aya motion to me and I join them beside Youji and Kaori.  
  
"Youji," Ken says softly, "it's time to go."  
  
He blinks slowly. "I know. Just give me a few more minutes. You go ahead, I'll be there soon."  
  
Ken starts to protest, but Ran cuts him off, taking his hand and shaking his head. He remembers what this is like. He too has lost precious people in his life. We all have, but some more than others.  
  
"Kaori, are you coming with us?" Ken says, bending down beside her.  
  
She shakes her head. "No. I'm gonna stay with Uncle Youji. We are gonna help each other."  
  
Ken looks at Ran. Ran shrugs and gently puts his hand on his daughter's head. "You do what helps you." He tugs at Ken's hand and they walk away.  
  
I begin to walk away as well, but hang back just slightly, moving more slowly. I hear Kaori say, "It's ok if I stay, right? You don't mind?"  
  
"Of course not, tater-tot."  
  
"I'm sorry, Uncle Youji. Do you mind if I cry?"  
  
"Of course not, tater-tot."  
  
"Ok. It's easier to cry when you are alone, huh?"  
  
"It always is, Kao-chan."  
  
"We can cry together, though. I don't mind if you cry either. I'll stay with you and we can cry. Ok, Uncle Youji?"  
  
"Ok, Kao-chan. Thank you, you are so special."  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
The conversation is so eerie. It echoes in my mind for many days to come. Of all the things I will take with me from the day we said goodbye to Asami Kudou, that one will haunt me the longest.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
I don't understand the 'hurry-up and wait' policy our society seems to employ all the time. I got this call at work from Kaori's school that it was urgent that I come down here and now they ask me to wait outside the office. Reminds me of the night she was born. Only minus the good kind of anticipation. The anticipation I have now only gets me more and more frustrated.  
  
I know exactly why I was called down here. Kaori got in another fight. This is the third time this year. Girls aren't supposed to pick fights! Sixth grade isn't supposed to be this violent! Why does this keep happening?! I grumble in frustration and bang impatiently on the armrest of my chair. She's such a good girl at home! Why does she keep getting into fights at school? It isn't normal.  
  
The office door opens and a secretary-looking woman greets me. "Mr. Hidaka? Please step into the principal's office."  
  
Ugh, that phrase brings back some unpleasant memories… it makes me kinda queasy. I stand up and try to smile. She looks at me coldly. I know what these people think of me… what they think of us. It's no mystery that our family is a subject of continual grief for this school.  
  
I follow her into the stuffy, typical office. There she is, sitting rather dejectedly in a chair. She hazards a glance at me and I glare back sternly. I'm not happy, and she knows it. Ran is going to be less happy and she knows that too. Right now I bet she's really glad that I was the one who answered the phone call. I notice immediately that she has a black eye.  
  
There is another student in the office as well. A young boy who looks to be in considerably worse shape than Kaori. Well... she does take kendo and self defense classes and play soccer … I imagine she probably should be the victor in any fight she picks. For some reason I can't help but feel a glimmer of pride. That's my girl, kicking asses and taking down names. Alright, Ken, that's not helping.  
  
I cover up my train of thought by glaring at Kaori again. She whimpers and looks down at the ground sheepishly. I go to stand beside her. I wonder where the other kid's parents are.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Hidaka. Please have a seat and we can begin our discussion," the principal says severely from her desk. Ugh, old principal woman… scary.  
  
I sit beside Kaori and she shies away from me. I glare at her out of the corner of my eye. She looks guilty.  
  
"This is Jiro Inoue, one of Kaori's classmates and the boy with whom she fought this afternoon. We were happy to discover that he does not have any broken bones," the principal begins, gesturing vaguely to the rather bruised boy. "His parents were not able to get off work to attend this little meeting so we shall simply begin. Now, Miss Fujimaya-Hidaka, I think you are well aware of the fact that this is the third time you have visited me under such pretenses. I am very disappointed in you. This is the third time you have provoked another student with violence. You know very well that fighting is against the rules. There are no exceptions!" the old woman snaps.  
  
Kaori looks up, "I know, but…!"  
  
The principal holds up her hand for silence. Kaori shuts her mouth and stares back at the floor.  
  
"And of course I am only referring to this as the third time that you have been brought to the office. We know very well that there have been other minor incidents. It is not becoming for a girl of your age to be so physical and temperamental. Your character, young lady, could use some sever adjustments. I would suggest that you take note of that Mr. Hidaka," she says in a low voice training her eyes on me. I clear my throat and nod.  
  
"It is absolutely inexcusable for you to attack Jiro unprovoked…."  
  
"But it wasn't like that!" Kaori cries.  
  
"Mind your tongue, Missy!" the principal snaps.  
  
Kaori turns to me and looks at me plaintively grabbing my arm. "But, Daddy, it wasn't like that! I swear. I had a good reason to beat up Jiro. He and his friends were picking on Aniki, and you know how little he is! And when I stood up for him they were being really mean to me too."  
  
"No we weren't!" the boy, who has been silent until now snaps loudly.  
  
"Yes you were, you liar!" Kaori screams back, pointing at him. The boy flinches away from her. "You were calling Aniki 'okama' and you were calling me 'Fujidaka' and everyone knows I –hate- that nickname! You got me mad on purpose, Jiro!"  
  
"Well I didn't know you threw punches like a boy, Fujidaka," the boy jeers.  
  
"Argh!" Kaori starts to get up. I put my hand on her arm and dig my finger in. She tenses.  
  
"Sit down, Kaori," I say dangerously. She sits.  
  
The principal looks at a loss for words. She has been attempting to control the students all during their little tirade and is a bit out of breath. "Ma'am," I begin, "I am very sorry that this has happened. I assure you that Kaori and I will cooperate in any disciplinary actions you choose to take."  
  
She eyes me skeptically. "Yes, well. Since this is her third transgression of this nature it is my opinion that detentions will not suffice any longer. I have chosen to suspend her from school for the duration of a week, effective tomorrow. You are all free to leave."  
  
"Thank you, ma'am," I say and get up to leave. I don't look at Kaori. She scrambles after me and follows me sheepishly down the hallway. I know she feel awful. Good, let it sink in. I'm sick of this, quite frankly. As we get to the front steps of the school she calls out to me.  
  
"Daddy, wait!"  
  
I pause and turn around. She is truly a sight to be seen. Her uniform jumper is wrinkled and dirty, her hair is a mess, the flowers Omi always puts in her barrettes mangled and askew, and her shiner is the cherry on top. She fiddles with her hands and looks guilty. She suddenly bursts into tears.  
  
"Daddy… are you… are you really mad at me?" she sobs, her shoulders shaking. Oh, poor baby. I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her it's ok. But that would be counter productive as far as teaching a lesson goes… but then again she'll get it good from Ran when we get home. No harm in a little tenderness.  
  
I walk back up the stairs and put my hand on her shoulder. "I am more disappointed than angry."  
  
That didn't help she only cries harder. "But… but… I was only trying to stick up for Aniki and you!"  
  
I furrow my brows. "What do you mean? What else did Jiro say that made you want to fight him?"  
  
She shakes her head, and looks at the ground.  
  
I kneel down. "You can tell me, Kao-chan."  
  
She looks at me with teary eyes. She looks like Ran. I smile softly.  
  
"They… they were saying nasty things about our family. Things that aren't true! They don't understand and they are so mean! They said things about you and Papa and… and that I didn't have a mother. You might think that they don't know or care about things like that, but they do!" she cries fiercely.  
  
So that's it. It can't be easy to be Kaori. I don't imagine that at her age the kids cut her much slack. Still, I know she has a lot of friends. But there are always the ones who will push the buttons, and go for the jugular. I wish I could protect her from the evils in her own world, and not just the evils in mine. I look into her eyes and she cries a little harder. I put my arms around her and pull her to me, hugging her close, stoking her hair.  
  
"Oh, Kaori. It can't be easy. I'm so sorry."  
  
"I had to, Daddy! I had to fight those kids. If I didn't it meant that I'm letting them say those things. I'm letting them call us names and hurt the people I care about! I can't let them!" she says into my shoulder.  
  
I push her back and look hard into her eyes. "I understand why you fought those other students, Kaori, but that doesn't make it ok. Violence can't solve your problems," I say as my hypocrite alarm goes off somewhere in the back of my mind. "When you give in and fight like that then you are doing what they expect you to do. You are giving them the satisfaction of getting you angry. They aren't worth it! No matter what they say, no matter what they do, it isn't worth it. You don't have to answer to anyone about your life. Just tell them that they aren't worth your time. That's the best insult you can give."  
  
It's kinda hard for me to say this, seeing as I am probably the most volatile person I know. Known to lose my cool on a second's notice and talk with my fist as much as with my mouth. At least that's how I was when I was Kaori's age… well and even up until a few years ago… ok, well maybe I still tend to be that way, but not as much. Really.  
  
She hugs my neck. "Ok, Daddy. I'll try."  
  
"Now buck up. Wipe those eyes, cause believe you me, you are going to need those tears when your father gets a hold of you."  
  
She pulls away and stares at me like a deer in headlights. "Oh my gosh, I forgot about Papa! You're right! I better save up what I can, crying is the only way to make him crumble."  
  
I nod. "Yeah and don't forget to look really pitiful. Puppy-dog eyes."  
  
"All the way."  
  
I wink and ruffle her hair. "Let's get you home. You have a nice long week of menial shop labor ahead of you!"  
  
"Aw, Daaad! You can't be serious!"  
  
"Oh, I'm serious, Kao-chan. Dead serious."  
  
"Great."  
  
  
  
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Afterward from Marty: Hey! I said last time that I need suggestions for these things cause I'm running out of cute, clever ideas, and I got (count it) one *1*! Pleeaassee I am begging you… input, yes? If you like Baby Talk and you want more then I NEED ideas, cause it is taking me –weeks- to write a single one. And I can't keep fixating on Youji's failed attempts at marital bliss. Sooo… please give me thoughts. Milestones I'm missing? Anything? Help me. Also that one suggestion mentioned adding a Kaori POV section. I was thinking about this myself… thoughts?  
  
And now a message from Marty's shameless ego: Go read my other stuff too. Not that there is that much that's new… but there is my attempt at a song fic! It's Ran/Ken. And I'm gonna write more of them someday… with other pairings. Yeah. 


	7. Walky Talk

Disclaimer: I borrowed them and it didn't get me anything but a headache and bad hangover….  
  
Commetns: Much Rejoicing! After a very long period of awayness, I have finally managed to produce more Baby Talk. I know. I am a bad kitty. After I hampered all you people for ideas and then didn't write anything for like forever. Yeah that was bad of me. But I have a good excuse… kinda. I'm traveling. That's my excuse. Right now… I'm in California. Living in an out of control house with my best friend Evan's Nigerian family. It's majorly… crazy! So I am sorry for slacking for so long on all my fics. I will get some more done… eventually. Anyway for now I will dedicate this to Lilas because she said she was going through RanKen withdrawal earlier. So hope this helps. R&R!! I need the reviews… they make me happy. And do inspire me to a point. Hans… he… he is mean and won't leave me alone. *sniffs* Enjoy. I added a Kaori section. It's kinda short. Oh well. POV order goes Ran, Youji, Omi, Ken, Kaori. Yeah.  
  
Warning: This is hella long!!  
  
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One, two, three… across the floor, around the couch. Wobble. She snuffles in surprise and grips my fingers a little tighter. We are walking. Well… she is walking while holding onto my hands. Which perhaps isn't really walking, but it won't be long. I stoop over her, glancing up occasionally to make sure we don't run into any of the furniture.  
  
We closed the shop today. "Official Business." Actually the weather was too nice to spend all day in the shop, so we closed it. Omi and Youji took off to 'enjoy the great outdoors.' This actually means that Youji dragged Omi to the park with him to pick up women. Apparently Omi helps because he's 'just so cute!' and it makes Youji seem less lecherous… or something. It's like having a puppy, I guess… only it's having a bishounen instead. Poor Omi.  
  
"Well, look at you. What a big girl, what a big girl you are, Kaori-chan," I hear Ken say and look up to see him smiling at us from across the room. He's standing there in his jeans, an old faded t-shirt of mine, and stocking feet. I feel warm just looking at him. He always looks so good to me, no matter what he has on. Even if it's nothing. I grin wickedly, but he doesn't notice. He squats down and waves to Kaori.  
  
"Hi, sweetheart, are you walking? Yeah. Can you walk to Daddy? How is her balance getting, koi?" he asks, brushing his hair out of his eyes.  
  
I kneel down behind Kaori and put my hands around her little waist to steady her. "Good. She can stand on her own, but you already knew that," I say.  
  
"Yeah, I did, but I haven't walked her around much lately, so I don't know how much better she's gotten," he replies, rocking back on his heels. He begins to wobble and then looses his balance. "Huh, whoa!" he cries as he falls back onto his rear end. He looks over at me and giggles, running a hand through his hair sheepishly. "Clumsy as ever. Some things never change." He gets back onto his feet and crouches.  
  
I look at him. I wonder if he can see what's going through my mind. "You are so sexy," I murmur.  
  
His eyebrows shoot up, he blushes. We've been married for almost three years and he still blushes when I say things like that. He's so sincere. "Um… koi? Heh, how does me falling on my ass make me sexy?"  
  
"The fact that you don't know only makes you sexier." Kaori huffs loudly and stamps her little feet. She has no idea why I'm making her stay in one spot as I talk to Ken.  
  
I steer her towards the couch and prop her there, letting her balance while holding onto the armrest. Then I back away from her and sit down, clasping my arms around my legs. I smile at her; she furrows her brows at me and looks cross. She doesn't like being stranded over by the couch. Ken chuckles. "What are you doing, koibito?"  
  
"Maybe she'll walk to one of us," I say looking at him over my shoulder. He shakes his head.  
  
"That's just mean."  
  
I can't help but notice the way his jean pull against him as he squats on the carpet. He chews on his bottom lip and wobbles precariously on he balls of his feet. I can't take it. Just looking at him makes me crazy. I stretch out onto all fours and begin to move towards him. "Or better yet," I say softly, "maybe she'll walk to both of us."  
  
He blinks and looks at me as I advance on him. He raises one eyebrow. "You are so weird."  
  
"Hn." I crawl towards him slowly. His eyes become more and more disbelieving as I come to kneel between his legs. I put my hands on his hips and tug sharply, tipping him forward, off balance. He straddles my legs, sitting down hard against my thighs with a little 'uf.' He's blushing furiously as he meets my eyes. He opens his mouth to say something, but I don't let him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, grabbing a fistful of his hair and begin to nibble at his neck. Now all that escapes his lips is a startled but justified moan. I pull him against me tightly and he makes a little squeaking sound.  
  
"Koi… not… ahh, the baby. We have to… watch… the baby!" he gasps, pushing against my shoulder half-heartedly.  
  
"Watch her then," I breathe against his skin. He smells like apple blossoms and sweat. I love the way Ken smells. It's such a turn on. I nip his earlobe just to hear him suck his breath in sharply. I can feel the tenseness in his body. He wants to give in, but I can tell he doesn't exactly know what to do concerning Kao-chan. Neither do I for that matter. I don't know how I let myself get carried away like this… but it's Ken… how can I resist? And it isn't like she's old enough to get what's going on. I am a responsible adult… really.  
  
Through the love haze I am caught up in with Ken, I vaguely feel is body language begin to change. He smacks my shoulders rather violently and starts to grumble something that I can't hear for the rushing in my ears. I pull him tighter and lick the base of his neck, nuzzling his shoulder.  
  
"Ran! Stop as sec… argh… uhn!"  
  
I feel his fists tighten in my hair and then sharp pain shoots through my scalp as he forcefully yanks my head back by the roots. I yelp in pain and shove him off of my lap. He slides back onto his ass and begins to struggle to get up again.  
  
"What was that about?!" I growl, rubbing the back of my head, glaring at him.  
  
"Would you control yourself for one minute and just look?!" he cries, sitting up all the way and grabbing my arm, trying to spin me around. I turn my head quickly and feel my breath suck in.  
  
Kaori is standing about two feet from the couch, wobbling precariously on her chubby little legs. She glares back at both of us as if to say, 'finally you start paying attention to me again!' She raspberries at us, and sticks out her tongue.  
  
I get onto my knees and Ken sidles up beside me. We're both smiling broadly. Ken pats the carpet. "Come on Kao-chan, come to the daddies."  
  
I stretch out my arms to her and wiggle my fingers, beckoning. "Come on, sweetie. Come to us."  
  
Ken and I hold our breathes as she cocks her head to one side and wobbles a bit before taking a tentative step forwards. She shakes a little and then brings her other foot forward. I can't believe she's doing it. I can't believe she's gotten so big. It seems like we just brought her home. She takes a few more wobbly steps towards us and then promptly teeters a little too much and falls onto her little diapered bottom.  
  
She pouts and looks cross. That is until Ken jumps to his feet and rushes towards her with a loud whoop. He scoops her up and tosses her into the air. My stomach churns just like it does every time I watch Ken do things like that, but I bite my tongue. I trust him… but it still makes me queasy. She squeals in delight and a little fear as Ken catches her again and spins her around. He blows air on her tummy and then squeezes her tightly, all the while babbling praises in baby talk. Kaori giggles and puts her hands on his face.  
  
"Ablathbla!" she cries and then puts her head on his shoulder, peering at me with wide eyes. I wiggle my fingers at her and then get to my feet coming to stand beside them.  
  
"I can't believe she actually walked, koi! This is so exciting. When Youji and Omi get back we're all going out to dinner," he says breathlessly, patting Kao-chan on the back. She wuffles and sits back up, stretching her arms towards me.  
  
"Eeaiaia!"  
  
I smile gently and take her from Ken's arms. She sighs deeply and then yawns, drooling on my shoulder a bit as she snuggles against me. I pat her back. I jounce her a bit and walk towards the couch. "I wonder what inspired her to walk just then…," I say absently.  
  
"Probably because we were paying attention to each other and not to her," Ken says. "Either that or she's a yaoi freak…."  
  
I take the time to work up a really good glare of death before I look back at him over my shoulder. "That's disgusting," I say dryly. "She's not even a year old yet, and she's our –daughter-."  
  
Ken shrugs. "Hey, two hot guys getting it on, is two hot guys getting it on…."  
  
I renew the glare of death. "You need to stop before you really piss me off."  
  
"Hey, I'm not the one who decided to start sucking my neck while on baby duty," he points out, putting his hands on his hips.  
  
I smile deviously and roll my eyes. "Yeah well…."  
  
"Yeah well," he echoes coming to stand by me. He puts his head on my shoulder so that he is eye to eye with Kaori. She blinks at him gravely. "So serious," he murmurs, "just like your father."  
  
She snuffles and turns her head away from Ken. I chuckle.  
  
"And just as temperamental," Ken adds. He puts his arm around my waist and nuzzles my shoulder. "Think she'd take a nap?"  
  
"It's possible."  
  
"Well why don't we find out?" he says sweetly.  
  
"Then what are just the two of us going to do by ourselves?" I ask raising my eyebrows.  
  
He looks up, smirking. "I'm sure we can think of something."  
  
"Unfinished business?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
It's amazing how used to having a thirty pound weight on your chest one can become. I don't even bother trying to get her off any more. It doesn't work. A losing battle from the very start. At least she doesn't bounce any more. No she just sits there, happy as a clam, watching TV. I can't imagine my chest is a very comfortable place to sit, but she doesn't seem to care.  
  
I take a deep breath and she rises with my inhalation. My ribs are beginning to ache, but like I said it isn't worth trying to get her off.  
  
"What are you thinking about up there, tater-tot?" I ask absently.  
  
She shrugs. "Nothing, Uncle Youji. Jus wondering when Auntie was coming back," she answers flatly.  
  
"Well… Auntie Aya is living on her own now. She's working to become a doctor… or something," I answer.  
  
"I know."  
  
There is a sound of general discontent behind us. Shuffling socks on the carpet and I look over as two short clad legs pause by my head. I follow them up and see the rather melancholy face of Omi Tsukiyono staring down at me. He sits abruptly, Indian style and sighs heavily.  
  
I roll my eyes. "Still pissing and moaning, Omittchi?"  
  
"Yeah… I don't know what's wrong with me," he answers putting his face in his hands.  
  
"There's only one thing that's going to make you feel better…," I answer in a sing song voice.  
  
He shakes his head and moans loudly. "Don't start with me, Kudou," he groans.  
  
"You know it's truuuue. There's only one reason she leeeeft. And it starts with an 'L' and ends with an 'E' and has something to do with the fact that you are a spineless twerp," I drawl, grabbing Kao-chan's shoulder and pulling her back. She props herself up on her elbows on my chest and glares over at Omi.  
  
"Yeah, spineless twerp," she echoes. I kiss the back of her neck and grin at Omi.  
  
"Don't you even start with me, Missy!" he barks, "It's your fault that Youji even knows. I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you. I can't believe you found out and then –told- him."  
  
She rolls her eyes. "A' least I didn' tell Papa."  
  
"She does have a point, bishounen," I reply, running a hand through her hair.  
  
Omi grumbles and then groans again, putting his head back in his hands. "I almost wish you had…."  
  
This melodrama is too much for me to take. The whole situation is ridiculous. Aya left because there was nothing to keep her here after a while except the potential of a relationship with Omi, which of course Omi wasn't pursuing because of his deep seeded fear of the pointy end of Aya- kun's katana. So when she got the job offer back in Tokyo she took it, and it worked out nicely seeing as I was moving back in due to Rikuko and my… er… irreconcilable differences. Well it seemed to work out nicely till Kao- chan told me about the little romance that had been brewing. Which explained Omi's melancholy.  
  
The fact of the matter is, pretty much everybody wants Aya-chan to come back. She did the laundry and was always happy and helped take care of Kaori when we had missions or had to be at work, and most of all Aya-kun felt a lot better knowing that she was safely near him. But of course the only way she's coming back is if Omi asks her to with many professions of love and need and sleepless nights. And that means that he'll have to tell Aya-kun the whole story, and it also means that Aya-kun will have to accept it.  
  
"Just go tell him!" I snap. "You can't just give up on your feelings for her because of an overprotective sibling. Aya-kun will get over it. It's not his place to say who either of you can be with."  
  
Omi stretches his neck back and then looks over at me. "It isn't that simple, Youji."  
  
"Uncle Omi… I want Auntie Aya to come home…," Kaori-chan says with a trembling lip and big eyes. She sniffs dramatically and then crawls off my chest and into Omi's lap. She slips her little arms around Omi's neck and sniffles into his shoulder. "Please make her come back, Uncle Omittchi… so we can be a … a family." She sqeezes her eyes shut and forces a few tears.  
  
Omi bites his lip. I can see the battle warring inside of his head. He furrows his eyebrows and then makes a funny choking sound, wrapping his arms around Kaori's little body. "Oh, Kao-chan… I want us to be a family too…," he takes a deep breath and then gently takes her out of his lap and sets her on the floor. He gets up, his hands balled in determined fists. "I… I'm going to talk to Ran. Even if he is angry… I should tell him the truth. Then I'm calling Aya."  
  
He stalks away stiffly and mounts the stairs.  
  
Kaori and I watch him and then I turn to her. "Way to go, tater-tot," I say holing up my hand. We high-five. She grins at me wickedly, no trace of tears in her eyes.  
  
"I knew it would work."  
  
"The whole 'family' thing was a nice touch."  
  
She nods. "Waterworks."  
  
"Oh yeah, you are definitely a con artist in the making. Hmmm… what do you say we go out for some ice cream or something? I don't really want to be here when the nuclear holocaust starts," I say looking at her, propping myself up on my elbows.  
  
She nods vigorously. "Papa's gonna be grouchy… and Daddy's gonna be grouchy cause Papa is. Let's go, Uncle Yotan."  
  
I stand up and stretch and then stoop, sweeping Kaori up in my arms. She giggles and grabs onto my hair. She still likes to pull it. What a cutie. "Alrighty then. It's an afternoon with Uncle Youji."  
  
"Whee!" she cries kicking her legs.  
  
We head towards the door and I give her a big kiss in the middle of her forehead. "Hey, Uncle?"  
  
"Yeees?"  
  
"Since you and Aunt Rikuko aren't married anymore… can I marry you some day?!" she asks with wide eyes.  
  
I raise my eyebrows. "Well, Kaori-chan, I think I'm a little old for you. And… you deserve someone waaay better than me. I just don't think it would work out."  
  
She thinks about this for a minute and then shrugs. "I guess, but I wanna marry someone just like you then."  
  
Oh no you don't. I won't let you marry someone just like me. I'll lace the loser up in razor wire first. "Well, you could marry Kenji," I reply.  
  
She giggles fitfully. "He's a baby!"  
  
"Yeah, but he won't always be a baby," I answer.  
  
"I guess not, but still. I'd rather marry you."  
  
"Not gonna happen."  
  
"Ok. Can we go to the park too?"  
  
"Whatever you want, tater-tot," I reply swinging her down and slipping my shoes on. *sigh* What a pity the only woman I get along with is three and half years old. And she didn't even cry when I broke up with her. If only real women were as easy to get along with. Oh well.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
She pulls herself farther up onto the couch as Chojiro-kun toddles by with sticky hands and wide eyes. He pauses and looks over at her, clapping appreciatively.  
  
"Kao!" he cries.  
  
She smiles blandly, her lip curling more than anything else. I chuckle to myself. More like Ran every day. I ruffle her hair as she pulls her legs tightly up against her chest.  
  
"Kao! Kao!" he repeats coming closer and reaching for her.  
  
"Go play, Choji-kun," she whines flicking her wrists at him. "Don't… touch me, you're sticky," she growls.  
  
"Chojiro, come see Mommy!" Aya calls from the other room. "Bath time!"  
  
My son takes a huge gulp of air and nearly falls over in his excitement. Everyone says that he's just like me and sometimes I wonder if that isn't an insult. I don't remember being that… genki. Of course I have to admit that there is a definite resemblance, even though he has his mother's coloring. Soushi is the light one, the reserved one.  
  
Chojiro toddles off and I ruffle Kaori's hair again. "I remember when you were that age. You used to throw food at me when I fed you," I say softly, leaning over to kiss her head.  
  
"Yeah well. Just because I used to be a baby doesn't mean I have to like them. Don't get me wrong, Uncle Omi, of course I love my cousins. I'd just prefer it if they didn't… come near me after eating… or at any other time," she says. "Besides I liked it when you and Auntie Aya lived with us, and you were just my Uncle Omi."  
  
"I'm still your Uncle, Kao-chan."  
  
"I know. But I like it when you were just mine," she answers nudging my ribs with her elbow.  
  
"Yeah, I know. But things change."  
  
"When are my daddies getting home?" she asks abruptly.  
  
I run my hand through her hair. "Soon," I answer. It's odd watching her sometimes. Especially since Aya and I had children, because looking at her I know that she isn't really a cousin to them. She is their sister. She is Aya's daughter. The physical resemblance she has to Soushi is quite striking. They both have those narrow Fujimaya eyes, and some of the gestures, the way they look or tilt their heads. So similar. I wonder if Kaori will ever know the truth, or if it bothers Aya-chan at all. I know that it never used to, but now that she has children of her own… does she feel the maternal pull towards Kaori?  
  
I shake my head. It isn't really worth worrying about.  
  
The phone rings. I reach for the receiver, but Kaori beats me to it. "Moshi-moshi, Tsukiyono residence, Kaori speaking."  
  
I roll my eyes and hold out my hand. She shakes her head and giggles. "It's Daddy!" she cries. "Hi, Daddy, are you home?… Oh, good… No, no I've been having a good time at Uncle Omi's, but I miss you so much…. I don't –want- anything! I'm being serious! I just wanna come home. Can I come home now? …. Uncle Omi doesn't want to talk to you, he's making evil eyes at the phone."  
  
"Kaori! Give me the phone!" I say, trying to stifle a giggle.  
  
She laughs out loud before I manage to wrestle the phone from her. I hold it up to my ear and settle back into the couch. I hear Ken chuckling on the other end. "Hey, Ken, it's me."  
  
"Oh, really? I thought maybe it was someone else."  
  
I pause. I'm easily confused. "Stop being weird. Are you and Ran back now? Everything worked out? No problems?"  
  
"No, no problems. We got all the information we needed. Thanks for looking after Kao-chan while we did the research."  
  
I shake my head. "No problem. Is Youji back as well?"  
  
"Yeah. He's around here somewhere. I think he said something about having a date tonight," Ken says a little hesitantly.  
  
"A date?!" I can't keep the disbelief out of my voice. He hasn't even looked at a woman since Asami's funeral. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. He said he met some woman somewhere and… well a date has ensued. I don't know. I think it's healthy for him to get out there again."  
  
"Yeah, unless he's doing what he did after Asuka died. Well… just make sure he doesn't start being an idiot or do anything stupid," I say seriously.  
  
"Yeah yeah. Ran is practically Youji's emotional police now, so I'm not worried. Anyway, do you mind walking Kao-chan home? If you are busy I can drive over…," Ken says slowly.  
  
"No, no it's fine. Aya is giving the twins a bath so it's fine if I leave. Besides there are a couple things at the Koneko I should pick up… then maybe I can get some work done tonight too."  
  
"That would be good. Well, see you soon. Thanks Omi-chan."  
  
The line goes dead. Omi-chan? Married with children and I'm still 'Omi- chan.' I shake my head. Oh well. I look over at Kaori who has been trying to follow the one sided conversation.  
  
"Ready to go home, Kaori-chan?" I ask smiling.  
  
"I was born ready, Uncle Omi," she responds hopping off the couch and making a break for the door. I follow her and start to put on my shoes and coat. "I remember when Uncle Yotan and Aunt Asami lived here," she says quietly.  
  
I look at her and watch as her eyes get a little dreamy.  
  
"We used to take a lot of walks from this door."  
  
"I can still feel their presence here," I say softly, patting her head. "Especially Asami."  
  
She looks up at me and smiles. She looks like Ken when she smiles. We walk out the door in silence.  
  
It's a calm evening. People come and go up and down the sidewalks, cars drive by more slowly than usual it seems. We don't talk much. Kaori likes to go inside her head and stay there. I can tell because her mouth works over words that she isn't saying out loud. I wonder what goes on inside that little head of hers.  
  
About halfway to the shop I spy Youji walking towards us. I flag him down. "Hey, Kudou!"  
  
"Oi, Omi, walking the tater-tot home?"  
  
"Uncle Youji!" Kaori cries latching onto his legs.  
  
"Hey, sweetness," he responds, patting her back. She lets go and starts to bob impatiently at his elbow.  
  
"Ken said you were going out on a date, is that true?" I ask as nonchalantly as I can.  
  
Youji smiles a little sadly. "Yep. I'm hitting the dating pool once again. I figure it's a crime to deprive the ladies as long as I'm available."  
  
I snicker. "I have news for you, Yotan, you aren't 25 anymore."  
  
He runs a sheepish hand through his hair. "Hell, bishounen I'm not even 35 anymore. God only knows how I got to be this old. I think some retirement might be in the works…."  
  
I laugh. "Don't start thinking that way, Youji. We've got a few more good years in us yet, and you can believe that you-know-who will milk them for all they're worth."  
  
Youji and I continue with our small talk. I don't get to see enough of him anymore. He and I haven't live together for what seems like years… seems like? Has been! I decide to make it a point to spend more time with the others.  
  
By the time Youji and I part ways Kaori has wandered off. I look around for her a bit worriedly. The last thing I need is to lose Ran's daughter. That would not make things very happy for me.  
  
"Kaori?! Kao-chan?!" I call.  
  
I move down the sidewalk a ways. Scuffling sounds from an alleyway catch my attention. As I head in that direction two prepubescent boys come scurrying out of it, one with a bloody nose and the other with eyes the size of dinner plates and a big red handprint on his cheek. Bingo. I rush into the alley and stop short.  
  
"Can you believe some people!" Kaori cries, stalking towards me. "I can't believe it. What a couple of juvenile delinquents. Picking on a defenseless animal like that! What a load of crap!" She walks into the middle of the sidewalk and shakes her fist down the street. "Think of that the next time you pick on a puppy!"  
  
"Kao-chan, watch you mouth!" I snap. "What have we told you about getting into fights?!"  
  
"It wasn't a fight, Uncle Omi," she says earnestly coming back into the alley way. She jogs past me to the dumpster at the far end. "I was just defending the less fortunate from the oppression of the wicked."  
  
I raise an eyebrow. This girl is following in some footsteps. It's scary. "Oh, really? And how so? You know your fathers aren't going to be very happy with either of us if I tell them that I let you get in a fight on the way home."  
  
She starts to hoist herself up into the dumpster. She's already dangling halfway up, her little arms working furiously to pull her body after them by the time I realize what it is she's trying to accomplish. "Then don't… argh.. uf… tell them, and…I.. ugh… I told you… unhh… it wasn't a… a fight," she pants as she begins to hook one leg over the lip of the metal trash receptacle. "Could you… unngh… give me a… a hand?"  
  
"There is no way I am going to help you into a dumpster. What are you doing?!" I cry walking to her. I grab her around the waist and try to pull her off. She squeals and clamps down on the greasy container.  
  
"Nooo! I hafta go in there!" she cries.  
  
"There is no way in hell I am going to let you swim around in that garbage can!" I say giving her another tug.  
  
"I have to, Uncle Omi. They threw it in there! I have to go and save it!"  
  
"Save what?"  
  
"The puppy!"  
  
My heart squeezes. Puppy? Puppy in a dumpster? That's so sad! "Oh alright!" I growl, putting my hands on her behind and lifting her up over the top. She cries out in surprise and disappears over the edge. I can hear her rummaging around in the filth and I can just begin to imagine the chewing out I'm going to get when I waltz her into the Koneko covered in refuse. "How can you stand to be in there?" I ask at length. "You didn't even want Chojiro to touch you with his sticky fingers, but you'll swim around in garbage?"  
  
"That's different. Babies are dirty…." Her voice echoes around in the metal container.  
  
"And this rusted hunk of a dumpster isn't?" I ask as sarcastically as I can.  
  
There is a pause in both the rummaging and the conversation. When it finally picks up again all I hear is a muttered, "It's different…."  
  
I cross my arms and lean against the dumpster, looking at my nails. "Are you sure they threw it in there?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Ok, ok. Don't get snippy."  
  
There is a startled yelping sound from inside the behemoth trashcan. "Oh there you are! It's ok, little guy. I'm here to help you." More yelping and scuffling. "I got 'im. I'm coming out. Catch me!"  
  
"Whatever," I answer. I see her feet kick up over the lip of the dumpster and then suddenly the rest of her is tumbling after. I very nearly don't catch her in time, but in the end I break her fall with my chest. As I lie flat on my back on the filthy alley floor she looks down at me and smiles sweetly.  
  
"Thanks, Uncle Omi! You're the best partner in crime a girl could want!" she chirps.  
  
"Thanks. Just what I always wanted," I grumble. "Now get off before I start to smell as bad as you do."  
  
She giggles and stands up. I struggle to my feet and look down at her. She smiles and holds up a rather mangled, filth encrusted, fur ball. It squirms. "That's not a puppy," I say flatly, "it's a dust bunny covered in slime."  
  
"Uncle!" she cries, "it's not his fault he all crusty! You would be too if you lived under a dumpster in an alley way and had nasty boys poking you with sticks and throwing mud and stuff at you."  
  
I think about this. And almost start to laugh. I can just see me living under a dumpster…. Wait… that's all wrong.  
  
"Alright, well we rescued it, so now put it back in it's home and lets get you back to the shop," I say turning to walk away.  
  
"I can't just leave it! It won't survive out here alone! Those boys will come back or it will get eaten by a feral cat or something."  
  
A feral cat? Where did that come from?  
  
"Well then what exactly do you intend to do with it?" I ask, already fearing and knowing the answer.  
  
"I'm going to take it home and clean it up," she says defiantly already marching past me and back onto the street.  
  
I roll my eyes. Just great. I know that it isn't any use to argue with her. She's even more stubborn than Ken and that's saying something. But I do not relish the reception I am going to receive from Ran when I bring his little doll home not only smelling like a landfill but with a gremlin to boot. I follow her down the street and pick a loose piece of what appears to be rotten lettuce out of her hair. She's so wrapped up in the disgusting little ball in her arms that she doesn't notice the looks we are getting from the other passersby on the street or the wide berth people are starting to give her. Not that I blame them. I smile apologetically at the few more disapproving matrons, but what can I do? She's not my child.  
  
As soon as we get to the Koneko she bursts through the door, sending the greeting bells to gangling furiously. *Ting tling tling* "Daddy! Daddy! Papa! Look, look what I found!" she cries eagerly.  
  
I sigh and sidle inside, keeping as close to the door as possible. Ken and Ran both come forward to greet their ecstatic daughter. Ken is wiping his hands on a towel and Ran holds a pair of shears in one hand and a clipped rose stem in the other.  
  
Her clothes are streaked with dirt, little bits of rotten this and that cling to her hair, and she emits a smell that is reminiscent of a sewer vent. Ran stops dead his mouth falling open, his eyes widening in horrified disbelief at the sight of his child. Ken does much the same but has the sense to manage, "What on earth…."  
  
She smiles brightly and holds up the fur ball. It yips appreciatively. "I found him in a dumpster. I'm gonna name him Gaki! Can I keep him?!"  
  
Ran's mouth works furiously to find the words he wants to exclaim, but he can't quite pull himself together sufficiently. Ken starts to laugh hysterically.  
  
I wave, hiding a snicker behind one hand, pushing the door open with my shoulder. "See you later." I'll get those things I wanted to work on tomorrow.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
It's been a long day. Lying on my bed, the bed I share with Ran, I can feel all the muscles in my body trying to relax. But I'm all bound up in knots. I wish Ran were here to talk to about all this, but he was hauled off to the Kritiker building first thing when the mission was completed. There are a lot of questions to answer. I suppose I should be glade that Kaori has locked herself in her room and refuses to talk to me. Questions can wait this way.  
  
What a fiasco. An absolute disasterpiece. I bury my head deeper into one of the pillows and try to make sense of the whole thing.  
  
There was a mission. A mission that involved the kidnapping of middle school and high school girls. Pretty straightforward, average, bad guy stuff. We've dealt with this thing a million times. The girls usually ended up dead or sold to white slavers or forced into prostitution. Sometimes we got them back alive, sometimes we saved lives. Not always. 'We aren't here to save lives,' is what Ran always says. Sometimes that comforts me. Not all the time.  
  
Kaori started coming home telling us about girls who had been missing from her school, her class even. Ran and I got worried. We made her stay home from school on the days we couldn't walk her there ourselves. Other people's children are one thing, but when it's your own child… there was no way in hell we were going to let her get caught up in any of the shit we have to deal with. Halfway through our preparations for the mission one of Kaori's friends, Miki Nomoto, went missing. This was too much for Kaori to take. Her sense of justice blown way out of proportion, she broke house arrest to look for her.  
  
I suppose the rest is history. I don't know how Kaori knew where to look for Miki, but she did. She added herself to the list of missing persons. I thought the house was going to have a nuclear melt down when we figured out what had happened. I thought my heart would stop beating. I've never seen Ran look the way he looked when he told us that preparations were over. We were completing the mission –now-.  
  
Of course everything worked out. It really wasn't that big of a deal in the end. Just some pedophilic men who liked to gain the trust of young women by hanging around their school yards and lure then to a dark and secluded place where they could keep them locked up, but of course we already knew that going in. What we didn't know was whether they kept them locked up in parts or in wholes, breathing or not so much.  
  
I roll over and blink, trying to keep sleep away. I want to know what Persia wanted with Ran.  
  
I conjure up the image of Kaori backing herself farther and farther into a corner as she slowly realizes what is going on, as her –fathers- slice through the bodies of pleading men, mercilessly ending their lives with obviously practiced efficiency. A spray of blood splattered across her cheek and as I reached for her with a gloved hand her eyes grew wide with terror. I'd called her name softly, but all she could do was shake her head and stare at me blankly.  
  
It was Ran who finally tired to get her to her feet and take her out of there, but she screamed and ran to the side of her dazed friend. She latched onto Miki's arm and the two of them sat huddled, shivering and crying. She stared at us without recognition. Afraid of scaring her farther or making things worse Ran and I couldn't bring ourselves to make her move. It was Youji who finally told her to pull herself together and pulled her to her feet.  
  
We herded the rest of the children out of the building and told them to call their parents. Mission over.  
  
Kaori didn't say anything in the car on the way home except, "I thought we sold the Porsche."  
  
Omi met us back at the Koneko, speeding up on his bike. He'd been the backup, waiting outside incase something unexpected happened.  
  
"Kao-chan!" he'd cried running to her and embracing her. "I'm so glad that you're ok."  
  
She let herself be hugged like a rag doll. "Not you too, Uncle… what are you wearing?" she'd murmured.  
  
"Kaori let us try to explain," Ran began, touching her head with a gloved hand.  
  
"Ahh! Don't touch me! You're all obviously crazy!" she screamed. "Leave me alone!" With that she'd ran up the stairs and disappeared into her room. The door slamming loudly behind her.  
  
That's when Manx appeared and Ran had to leave. Since then I've been trying to collect myself here on the bed. I feel so… guilty. Like I've betrayed my own flesh and blood. But what else could we have done? There just never seemed to be a good time to explain things before. I can't even begin to explain how awful and awkward I feel right now.  
  
Despite my reluctance I finally fade away into sleep. I'm exhausted. So tired….  
  
The bed sags, a familiar presence stirs my dreams and I pull myself back into wakefulness. I take a deep breath and sit partway up, looking around. "Ran…?" I call softly. I turn to peer over my shoulder. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, head in hands.  
  
"What did Persia want?" I ask bluntly.  
  
He sighs deeply but doesn't answer. Instead he turns and crawls up onto the bed. He puts his arms around me and pulls me down with him, spooning with me, our bodies pressed together. He buries his face in the back of my neck and kisses me once before tightening his arms around me so that I can hardly breathe.  
  
"What did Persia want?" I repeat the question.  
  
"Hn…."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"It won't make you happy," he says at length.  
  
"I'm already not happy. Now tell me what he wanted." I run my hand over his arm.  
  
"Kaori. He wants Kaori. For Kritiker. Some… new program involving the children of existing Kritiker members. 'Kinder' I think he said. It's for conditioning… or something. I wasn't really listening."  
  
I laugh hollowly. "Persia wants our daughter… and you weren't really listening?!"  
  
"… I didn't have to. We don't have a choice in the matter. And we have to explain things tonight," he says in a voice I don't really recognize.  
  
I tense and try to turn to look at him. "What do you mean 'we don't have a choice?' Of course we have a choice! She's our daughter!" I cry.  
  
There is a long pause, he doesn't move, I can't even tell if he's breathing. "No… not really. We didn't create her. She is of you and Aya, but… it was Kritiker that funded her existence… don't you remember? The way Persia put it… Kaori is the property of Kritiker. She always has been."  
  
"What?! People are not property! If he's serious then he's no better than… than all the people we've killed for him!" I cry pulling away from Ran and standing up. I'm so furious I'm shaking.  
  
Ran sits up and shakes his head. "No, it's not quite like that. Persia said that we have to –tell- Kaori about Kritiker and about this… Kinder program. She has the right to choose whether or not she joins, but you and I don't have any say in the matter."  
  
"Still… we are her parents! We raised her! We… we… I don't want her involved in a life like ours," I say, rather defeated.  
  
Ran gets off the bed slowly and takes me in his arms. I collapse against his shoulder and would dissolve into tears if I still had the energy. As it stands I just shake against him, unable to stop. I had so many hopes for her… I wanted her life to be peaceful and happy. But I know my daughter. She'll sign her soul over to Kritiker without a second thought. She's always had an over developed sense of justice…. I don't want to watch her soul harden to the beauty of life.  
  
"We should go to her," he says softly against my hair. I can't answer him in words. I just nod against his shoulder.  
  
He takes my hand and leads me out of our room. How are we going to make all of this make sense to her? I mean… she's always known that something was a little strange, but… she never really asked questions.  
  
Ran knocks on the closed door. There is no response. "Kaori? Please open the door," he calls softly. Nothing.  
  
I try, stepping past his shoulder and wrapping with one knuckle on the hard wooden door. "Kao-chan, please let us in. We need to talk to you."  
  
There is a long pause and then, "Go away."  
  
Ran presses forward. "Open the door."  
  
"I don't want to. Can't you just let me sleep? I'll talk to you tomorrow," comes her reply, a short snap.  
  
"No. This can't wait. Let us in. Now," Ran's voice means business. Kaori rarely ignores that tone.  
  
"I don't want to!" she screams again.  
  
"Have it your way," Ran growls. He takes a step back and then puts his shoulder to the door, shoving it open. It swings inward with a startled pop. It was nothing.  
  
"What are you doing?! I told you I don't want to see you! Now you can just break into my room with no regard to my privacy?! Get out! I don't know you!" she cries from her bed. She hasn't changed from the clothes she's been wearing for over a day. Gaki jumps down from her bed, hair on end. He lowers his head and growls deeply.  
  
Ran casts him a sharp glance, "Down!" The large dog flattens its ears and tilts its head to the side, showing throat. Ran never liked the dog… but then again Ran doesn't like animals much in general.  
  
"Don't yell at him! He's just trying to protect me," she cries getting to her knees on the bed. "And he doesn't lie to me!"  
  
"We never lied to you, Kao-chan!" I cry, pushing past Ran and sitting down on her bed. The bed that used to be mine. I reach for her, but she pulls away.  
  
"Don't touch me! You're a murderer! I saw it with my own eyes, you … you killed those men!" she cries. "You can't kill people."  
  
"We've been killing people since before you were born, Kaori," I hear Ran's deep voice say evenly. "It's what we do. Ken, Youji, Omi, and I are killers. Asassins. We kill for money."  
  
Her eyes widen slightly and her body tenses. Then she begins to cry. Poor kid, she's only twelve. This is a lot to take in. Everything we've taught her is in direct opposition to what we actually do.  
  
I take her in my arms and pull her to my chest, cradling her against me. She sobs against my shoulder and I stroke her hair gently quieting her. "I… I don't… understand," she hiccups against me.  
  
"It isn't quite how your father said," I say softly, casting Ran a rather nasty glance. That was a bit uncalled for of him.  
  
"How is it not the truth, Ken?" he asks coming to sit next to me on the bed. Kaori looks up at him from my shoulder and squeezes me a bit more tightly.  
  
"We don't just kill anyone, Kaori. We… we work for an organization called Kritiker. We only kill criminals, bad people who escape the law. So we're kinda like a very extended police force."  
  
"That's stretching it a bit, don't you think, Ken?" Ran growls.  
  
"Well… maybe. We take missions and go after targets… people who do horrible, illegal things. We kill to protect the people of Japan," I say. That sounded super cheesy.  
  
"I don't care! You should have told me before. I should know things like this, and you scared me so much! I… I've never seen anything like what you did to those men," she cries shaking her head and burying her face in my shoulder. "How am I supposed to feel about seeing my… my family do –that- to other human beings? You're supposed to make me feel safe and… protect me… take care of my life, and… and all that blood and the screaming! Because of you! How should I feel about that?!" Ran moves closer and puts his arms around both of us. Kaori's tears are redoubled. He whispers into her ear and runs his hand over her back. We all sit like this for a time, just trying to get back to feeling like a family.  
  
"We haven't changed, Kaori-chan," Ran says, trying to comfort. "Ever since you were born, I've done my job only to protect you. That's what parents do. They protect their children from harm. We just do it a little more… kinetically."  
  
"I'm sorry that we hurt you, sweetheart," I say, "but we had to save you, and killing those men was the only way to make sure you and Miki and the other kids would be safe. But like your father said: we are still the same people we've always been. Now you just know our dirty little secret."  
  
We sit still for a few more minutes and slowly Kaori's tears begin to fade as what we've told her sinks in. She pulls away from me and sits back, rubbing at her eyes. She looks back and forth between us. "So… let me get this straight…you guys are like some sort of… vigilantes of justice? Why has my life suddenly turned into a bad episode of 'Charlie's Angels?' Don't tell me you have some sort of snappy name too."  
  
Ran and I glance at each other. "Weiβ," we say in flat tandem.  
  
She looks at us blankly and then raises her eyebrows. "You mean like… 'white' in German?"  
  
We nod a bit lamely. She actually starts to giggle. "That's hilarious," she snickers. "Don't tell me, right, you've got an arch nemesis and they are called 'Schwartz!' That would be a gas!" she says, beginning to laugh out loud. "'Schwartz!' Oh, that would be classic!"  
  
As her laughter slowly becomes louder Ran and I exchanger rather hesitant glances and don't say anything.  
  
She looks up. "Come on, why aren't you guys laughing? You have to admit that would just be priceless, too much."  
  
We exchange another glance and I shrug, opening my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Ran looks up at the ceiling. Kaori's mouth falls open. "Oh my god, don't tell me you really –do- have an arch nemesis called Schwartz!"  
  
"Well… we did…," I begin.  
  
"It's a long story," Ran says quickly.  
  
Now Kaori's laughing hysterically. "That's so bad! I can't take it, I'm going to die!" She falls back onto the bed squealing maniacally. She bangs one fist on the wall.  
  
Ran and I start to giggle too. It really was ridiculous when you thought about it.  
  
Youji appears by the door in his pajamas and leans against the door frame. "What in the world is going on in here?" he drawls.  
  
Kaori sits up, tears of laughter in her eyes. "Oh… Uncle Youji… Schwartz… whoo! It's too much!" She collapses again.  
  
Youji raises one eyebrow and shakes his head. "I don't remember anything terribly funny about Schwartz…. Wait did she just say 'Schwartz?!' As in –the- Schwartz? As in the freaky foursome Schwartz?" he cries.  
  
I nod, still giggling. "Well there wasn't much choice in telling her now, was there?"  
  
"I guess not," Youji says turning away. "But do try to keep it down… I need my beauty rest."  
  
Kaori squeals anew. "You guys are living in a cheesy manga! Weiβ, Schwartz, Kritiker… whoo hahaha! What, do you have catchy code names too? Muwahahaha!"  
  
"Ok, ok that's enough!" I snap. She's starting to hit a little close to home. "This shouldn't be taken lightly."  
  
"Your dad's right," Ran says pulling Kaori back up to sit with us. "Now are you sure you are going to be ok?"  
  
She blinks away a few more laughter-induced tears and takes a deep breath. "I guess so. I mean… I'm gonna have to think about it for a while. But I think I can get used to it. I always used to figure you guys were in some sort of FBI or CIA type deal with the government, so this won't be that much harder to accept. But I might have nightmares about earlier…."  
  
"You can sleep with us if you do," I say kissing her head.  
  
"Uhh... thanks, Dad, but I think I'm old enough to sleep by myself," she says flatly, giving me a weird look.  
  
I raise my hands. "Oh, of course you are. Sorry."  
  
"There's one more thing," Ran says suddenly. Oh great. I'd forgotten about our earlier conversation. "Kritiker has a… program… for the children of members of its teams. It's called 'Kinder' I think. Persia, our boss, has asked that you join if you would like to." He stares off into the darkness of the room, not wanting to make eye contact with either of us. I hold my breath and my tongue. I don't want to say anything.  
  
"Umm… do you think I should?" she asks at length.  
  
"We can't give you advice. You have to make this decision for yourself," Ran says quietly.  
  
"Well… I guess I would like to see exactly what it is that this Kritiker place does. Can I go and just see? I think I'd like to see. Then I can decide if I want to stay with it right?"  
  
"Of course. I'll tell Persia," Ran says, the slightest hint of dismay in his voice. I don't think Kaori can detect it, but I've been listening to that voice every day and in my dreams for over fifteen years. I know all its little quirks.  
  
I give Kaori a quick squeeze, knowing that my little baby won't be for much longer. Things are going to change. I don't want them to. I want to freeze time. But that's just wishful thinking. Unrealistic thinking.  
  
"You'll be able to sleep alright?" I ask against her hair. She nods.  
  
"I have Gaki to keep me safe. It's ok," she says assuredly.  
  
I stand as Ran does and step into the curve of his arm. We look down at our daughter. She looks back at us. "Good night, Kao-chan," I say.  
  
Ran kisses her forehead and then we head for the door. "Good night, Dads. But tomorrow we're going to have a serious talk about your assassin fashion sense. It was the costumes that scared me the most."  
  
We glare back at her. "Smart ass," we growl in tandem.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
I wake for no particular reason. Not that I was really sleeping all that well anyway. I stretch and sit up, swinging my legs out from under the covers. My long legs. Too long. I'm too tall. Why do I have to be cursed like this?  
  
Gaki grumbles and then yawns, his huge muzzle gaping open. "Phew, dog breath," I hiss. I pat him, trying to push him off the bed, but he's too big for me to sway in any realistic manner. "Gaki! Get off! I'm too hot with you on here."  
  
He shakes his head and pants playfully attempting to roll over. He fails. There isn't enough room on the bed. "Don't get all flirty with me, mister," I say under my breath. I stand up and wobble a bit on my legs, stretching again. I wander over to the door, but pause before the full- length mirror before heading out into the deadly quiet of the house. I assess myself in the mirror.  
  
"Hey, sexy," I say to myself, winking. I flex one arm. I'm pretty toned for a girl. Of course there isn't much that's all that girly about me. I'm fairly flat and my hips are boxy. Both results of playing too many sports. I note the way my hips sway forward like a boy's. I stand like my father. Hips out, hands in pockets. I guess Dad kinda does the same thing, but he's got that whole weight shift thing going on. I note the way my back sways inward as my pelvis sticks out. I run my hand over my flat tummy. A little too flat. I don't even have one of those cute girly pot bellies. In fact… my stomach's pretty hard. I should stop working out and eat more ice cream. Even Aniki says that I'm too butch for my own good. Well… he's gay so what does he know? It's almost like we switched places on the gender scale. Only… I still like boys. I like Aniki… *sigh* Sucks to be in love with your homosexual best friend. Then again… most of my friends are gay guys. Yep, I'm a fag hag. Miki's pretty much my only girl friend these days… funny how she's also the most beautiful girl in school. We're like the odd couple.  
  
Gaki clambers down from my bed and sit next to me. He really is a fairly uncouth looking mutt. All shaggy and patchwork. I giggle as I remember how I got him. Uncle Omi… he was always so cool. I can't believe he actually lifted me into that dumpster. I rub Gaki's head and hunker down to scrub the ruff around his face. He pants happily and licks my face.  
  
I stand up and look around my room. The walls are covered with posters of soccer players and the like. My laundry is mostly everywhere. I'm gonna have to clean in here soon. I push the door to the hallway open and step into the cooler air outside my room. I pause and listen. No sounds. No breathing, no hushed voices. They aren't back yet. Of course I already knew that. They'd have come in to say good night if they were back. I've discovered that I can't sleep when I know they are away. It's weird, but… I worry.  
  
I've been a part of Kritiker now for almost three years, but I still worry about my parents and my uncles whenever they go out on missions. I can't help it. Now I know what they're really up against. Ignorance was bliss, but those days are long gone.  
  
I wander down the stairs and the faint humming of the television assails my ears. Is Kenji still up? Hmm, poor kid. He always waits up for Youji. I think Youji told Kenji about Weiβ and Kritiker right around the same time I found out, because not long after he started coming to Kinder with me. Then when Aunt Rikuko married that European model guy… Kenji refused to move to Switzerland and has lived with us ever since. It was a rather bloody custody battle, but in the end we won. Go us.  
  
I tiptoe quietly into the TV room, Gaki at my heels. Kenji is on the couch, but he isn't watching the television. He's asleep, his head resting on his arm on the back of the couch. He was watching the door. I smile and shake my head. He acts so tough. What a loser.  
  
I sit down next to him on the couch and touch his arm gently. "Kenji-kun? Kenji-kuuun, wake up!" I say pinching him.  
  
He jolts awake, wiping away a line of sleep drool away with the back of his hand. I snicker as he whips his head around and straightens his body. "Itai! Oh… Kaori. Are they back yet?"  
  
"No, but you should go to bed anyway," I say waggling my finger at him. He shrugs and shakes his head.  
  
"I'm not tired."  
  
"Suuure, you're not."  
  
"I'm not," he says languidly, sliding sideway and resting his head on my shoulder. "Hmm, you always smell nice, Kao-chan."  
  
I snort. "That's because I bathe on a regular basis, unlike –some- people," I say sarcastically.  
  
"Hey! I bathe! What are you trying to say? That I stink?" he says defensively, poking my ribs.  
  
I giggle. "Just stating the facts as I observe them."  
  
"You're mean," he grumbles and then shifts, lying down, putting his head in my lap. He yawns. "Tell me when they get home."  
  
"What, now I have to stay awake for you?!" I cry.  
  
"You weren't going to sleep anyway. Just wake me up," he says.  
  
I cross my arms. "Whatever."  
  
He smiles distantly. He really does look an awful lot like Uncle Youji… minus the long hair. Kenji keeps his pretty short. "Love you, cous."  
  
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You too, -cous-."  
  
He smiles again and falls asleep like that. What a kid. I wonder if he'll ever grow up or if he'll be a Peter Pan just like Uncle Yotan.  
  
I reach of the clicker, trying not to disturb my sleeping cousin. After a rather involved and somewhat painful campaign I manage to get it. Now I just sit back, watch TV and wait for them to come home. Wonder if there's anything good on ESPN at this time of night….  
  
  
  
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After thoughts: Yeah, so there you have it. The really messed up way that Kaori finds out about her family's real job. It wasn't very good, but… it was good enough. And Omi's section… seemed kinda out of character for him. I dunno. I really should get crackin' and write some more stuff. Also be warned. I have taken to writing e-mails to the people who leave me reviews… hehehe. I love you all!! 


	8. Smack Talk

Disclaimer: The boys belong to other people. I make no profit from my usage of them. Although if I could I would pimp them out. and that would make me very rich indeed.  
  
Comments: After much disinterest on my part and the rather lengthy failure of FF.net I finally got around to writing another installment of Baby Talk. As usual I like Youji's part the best. The first part is rather stupid, but for some reason I could actually see it happening in the show. All those stupid high school girls. Anyway. The POVs are a bit switched around. Actually just Omi and Youji's flip-flopped. So it's R,O,Y,K,Ka. That almost spells something.. Anyway, enjoy! Or don't it's up to you. And since FF.net was down for so long you need to R&R like nobody's business, because the things that I posted during the three hour window over the past four weeks didn't get to be reviewed! Ah. so sad. So either go and read them and review them or. well no just do that. Anyway, later, y'all. Wheee! *snarfs last coconut poky*  
  
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So many sounds. The tinkling of a bell, high voices, the clinking of glass against glass, cars in the street, ruffled fabric, the shuffle of feet, Youji flirting shamelessly. I stand in the center of the shop, my eyes closed. Someone bumps against me, apologizing under their breath. I don't mind. I'm listening; listening to one sound among the many. The sound of my daughter's laughter.  
  
I used to get nervous when she was in the shop with us. I used to be afraid that she'd get lost or wander away or stolen even. But now I don't worry anymore, because there's at least one advantage to having a throng of teenaged girls around. they love babies. That's actually the only advantage. Other than that they are annoying and rather despicable. But during the rush time it's like having a free babysitting service that comes to your door. and if your lucky even buys something. And they make her laugh. Putting up with clingy high schoolers is worth it just to hear my daughter's laughter.  
  
Cool air tickles my ear, a soft breeze blowing against my neck. My lips twitch at the corners. "Hey, dream lover, wake up. You have customers," he murmurs into my ear before walking away. I glance at him from the corner of my eye. Ken. I can't think of enough words to describe him, so I won't. Sexy pretty much sums it up. and playful. and fun. and sweet, caring, wild, amazing, beautiful, maddening, fuckable. I thought I wasn't going to do that. Oh well, he just gets me all ahead of myself.  
  
As I smile a little more and squeeze my tongue between my lips I notice for the first time that I am surrounded by a throng of people who all seem intent on staring at me. I blush uncharacteristically, and put my poker face back on, furrowing my eyebrows. "If you aren't going to buy anything.," I begin loudly.  
  
"Uh. actually. We all want to buys something," a girl standing close to me breaks in.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Yes, we all have purchases. We were just waiting for you to man the counter. you do work here, right?"  
  
I force myself not to look embarrassed. It never used to be like this. I can remember a time when I would never have been distracted at work. when taking care of business was all that mattered. I think of the sound of Kaori's laughter and the feel of Ken's breath blowing against my neck. But there are more important things now.  
  
Smiling distractedly I motion to the counter. "Yes, sorry."  
  
When I am done ringing up the customers I lean forward, my hair brushing forward against my cheek. I prop my chin in my hand and close my eyes again. I can't hear Kaori anymore. I glance around, eyes darting first one way and then the other. Youji and Omi are standing together at the arranging table, arguing about some bouquet order. Omi keeps pointing at a large bundle of Baby's Breath as Youji waves an even larger clump of ferns in the bishounen's face. What a pair. Honestly it seems like all they do is argue with each other, and yet in the end Youji and Omi have a closeness. a mutual understanding that goes beyond anything I ever had with either of them. It's like an unspoken pact to take care of each other, no matter how much they bitch about it. That's why Omi keeps taking Youji's cigarettes and flushing them down the toilette and why Youji drags Omi out of the darkness of his room and away from the lurid glow of his computer monitor into social interaction against his will.  
  
We have it pretty good, the four of us. Even if it's all we have. we have each other. Five of us. We all have Kaori-chan after all.  
  
"Fujimiya-san?"  
  
I stand up straight and turn around. Some of the high school girls are standing before the flower case, Kaori in one of their arms. I raise my eyebrows to let them know I am listening. It's best if I verbalize as little as possible. I realized this a long time ago.  
  
"We need to leave, and just wanted to give Kao-chan to someone before we went. You seem to be the least busy," she says quickly walking towards me and holding my daughter out.  
  
I nod and reach my arms out towards Kaori. She furrows her brows and pouts at me as I lift her out of the nubile, uniform clad girl's arms. Kaori sticks out her tongue. a bad habit she learned from a certain young uncle. and then starts to fuss. It's embarrassing when your own daughter decides to reject you in front of a crowd of pubescent girls. I draw her closer.  
  
"ArigatOW! Itai!" I cry snapping my head back as Kaori glares at me, yanking hard on one of my ear tails. She pulls again and this time I just glare back.  
  
The group of girls all try to stifle giggles, courteously covering their mouths with their hands and looking down at their feet.  
  
"I guess you weren't her first pick, Fujimiya-san," the girl who had been holding her giggles. The others giggle a little louder.  
  
I hold Kaori out in front of me, shaking my head, hoping she'll let go of my hair. "Apparently not," I agree.  
  
For some reason the girls decided this is a good time to get excited. I told you. it's best not to say anything at all.  
  
"Perhaps she'd rather go to Omi-kun!" one of the girls says loudly. A few nod and agree with her.  
  
"Or maybe to Ken, he's her daddy after all!" another pipes up. Like it's the most intriguing thing she's ever thought of.  
  
What am I, chopped liver?  
  
"Let's find out!" a few squeal. There is a chorus of things like, "Oh yes!" "Let's!" "Good idea!" They scamper away only a few staying to watch me with wide, over interested eyes as I stand, holding my daughter at arms length. Kaori tugs on my hair again and begins to fuss, squirming in my grasp and making exasperated noises.  
  
"Hey, I was with a customer!" Ken cries as several short-skirted girls drag him up beside me. They cling to his arms and giggle stupidly. He's taken ladies. I hate high school girls. Ken looks up at me in exasperation and I can't do anything but roll my eyes.  
  
Kao-chan looks over at him and squinches up her nose. She raspberries, a thin line of clear drool dribbling down her chin.  
  
"Well excuuuse me," Ken quips, trying to shrug off a couple of girls.  
  
"What are you doing?" Omi protests thinly as he too is brought up to me. "Youji's going to put those ferns in there if I don't stop him!"  
  
"Oh, it's ok, Omi-kun. We only need you for a minute," a girl says in a whiney, simpering voice.  
  
"Oh, hi, Ran, Ken. Kao-chan." Kaori's name is intoned in a high-pitched baby-talk voice. Omi wiggles his fingers at her. Kaori glances away from Ken and gives Omi a disapproving look and then tugs sharply on my hair again.  
  
"Ahhthhp! Ahhhnn. Baloo shithpidth," she burbles.  
  
"Ok!" one of the girls squeals. "Now who does she want to go to? Ken or Omi?!"  
  
Ken and Omi exchange a glance and then glance at me. I say nothing. This is stupid. I thought they were leaving..  
  
"Well, maybe we should put her on the floor and see where she wants to go," another girl pipes up.  
  
"Yeah! Or maybe if they each hold her she'll want to stay with one. We should pass her around!"  
  
"Oh, why don't we just ask her?!" yet another giggles.  
  
"She doesn't talk yet," Ken and I say at the same time. Creepy. We do that a lot lately. We exchange a glance and he grins at me impudently.  
  
The girls titter. They must think that's just so cute.  
  
"Well, let's ask her anyway! Maybe she'll point or something!" the girl presses. The others think this is a good idea, and since it was rather obvious from the beginning that none of us had any say in the matter, Ken, Omi, and I stand by patiently as the girls crowd in closer toward Kaori. She looks at me and widens her eyes, so serious.  
  
One of the girls, the same one who had been holding her earlier, comes to stand next to me and looks up at my daughter. "Kaori-chan? Who do you want to hold you?" she asks slowly. She pantomimes just in case. Kaori blinks and then looks at me, sniffing loudly. She takes a moment and then swivels her head to look at Ken. He grins and raises his eyebrows. She curls her lip and sticks out her tongue.  
  
I can't help but giggle. Then she glances at Omi who seems more preoccupied with whether or not Youji is sticking ferns in his bouquet than if Kaori wants him to hold her. She rolls her eyes and sighs in exasperation. Once more she looks at each of us and at the end ends up giving my hair another tug.  
  
"Aww, she didn't choose anyone. I'll ask again. Who do you want to hold you, Kao?" the girl repeats. I'm sure Kaori has no idea what she's saying.  
  
Kaori sighs despondently and then raises her head, her eyes widening as if she notices something for the first time. I glance over my shoulder and follow her gaze. Ken and Omi do the same. She's looking at the arranging table, eyes glued on a certain sandy blonde assassin in an Armani sweater.  
  
"Youji!" she screams.  
  
I'm not sure which shocks me more, the sheer volume of her voice or the fact that she just said something intelligible. For the first time.  
  
I hear Ken gasp next to me and it sounds like he almost inhaled his tongue. I look at him, he looks at me, we both look at Youji.  
  
Passive green eyes look up from the table. Youji straightens, a piece of fern dangling out of his mouth, and trains his gaze on us. He yawns. "What's going on over there?" he asks languidly.  
  
"Youji! Youji!" Kaori squeals again, bouncing in my arms.  
  
"What is it, tater-tot?" Youji drawls and then stretches, ambling towards us. Kao reaches for him and wiggles. I turn, we all turn. Youji leans over the counter and takes Kaori from my hands without so much as a by your leave. She giggles and puts her hands on his cheeks, almost whacking her head against him in her excitement.  
  
"Youji. Ouji! Ji ji!" she babbles.  
  
"You wanna come back to the table and make flower arrangements with me? Huh? Is that what you want, tater-tot? Well, let's go, come on," he coos. He ambles away.  
  
There is general gaping in Youji's direction. He bounces Kaori a bit and then finally notices.  
  
"What?"  
  
"She just said your name!" Ken blurts.  
  
Youji looks around and shrugs. "Yeah. and? She's been saying my name for almost two weeks," he says flatly.  
  
Ken's and my mouths both fall open at the same time. Omi giggles. The girls begin to disperse, annoyed that Kaori didn't pick who they thought she would.  
  
"She's been speaking your name for almost two weeks?!" Ken cries incredulously. "Why didn't you tell us?"  
  
"Well. I figured you guys would have heard her already. Not like it's her first word or anything, right?"  
  
The silence says it all. Understanding slowly dawns on Youji and his green eyes slowly grow in size. "Wait. you mean that my name -is- her first word?!" he cries. "That's awesome!" He starts to laugh.  
  
Omi snickers under his breath. Ken and I exchange exasperated glances. Aren't little kids supposed to say things like Dada and Mama for their first word? Isn't that how this is supposed to work?  
  
Ken smiles and then puts his arms around me, sensing my disappointment. He puts his head under my chin and squeezes me lightly. "Well, at least she's talking."  
  
"Yeah, at least."  
  
I have a bad feeling that this just may be the beginning of a disturbing pattern.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
That's weird. Blink blink. I know I saved that file right here. I put it on the desktop. and. well, granted it was two o'clock in the morning, so I might -not- have remembered to save it and my confidence that I did is only induced by my sleep deprivation.oh well. There's a hard copy on disk around here somewhere. Now where is that disk?  
  
I bend down, swiveling around in the computer chair. Peering under the desk I push some papers aside, move the printer, flip through a few manuals and then sit back up.  
  
"Huh. Now what in the world did I do with that thing?" I hiss under my breath. I start flipping through the case files on the desk, but to no avail. I need that disk. It's got the mission reports for the last three months on it! How could I have been so careless? I'm never this careless. ever! I'm not like Ken, after all.  
  
Deciding to check the floor one more time I bend down and begin to push things aside. Maybe it fell down behind here.. I hear what sounds like bare feet on the mission room stairs. I pause, my ears pricking up. It's probably one of the guys. But why would they have bare feet? Youji's probably trying to play a joke on me. Haha, very funny Yotan, but it isn't going to work. Not by a long shot.  
  
I sit up and spin around in my chair, leaping to my feet and whooping. "Haha! I know you're there, you sneaky little bastard!"  
  
A pair of big, indigo eyes stares back at me from a small, elfin face. I clamp my mouth shut and I can't tell who looks more surprised, the intruder or me.  
  
"Kaori-chan, what on earth are you doing down here?!" I nearly shout, backing towards the chair. This is not good. This is the mission room, for god's sake! She's not supposed to even know this room is here, let alone come walking into it all by herself. If she starts learning things down here it's going to be my ass in a sling for being the one that found out. Kill the messenger.  
  
Her mouth falls open and she tries to take a big gulp of air, but doesn't seem to succeed. She backs up, hiccuping slightly. She's in her nighty, her hair is all disheveled, she looks as surprised to see me as I do to see her. "Shuukufu*.," she whispers quietly. She looks like she's gonna make a break for the stairs. Something in her hands catches the light, shining metallically.  
  
"What do you have, Kaori?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.  
  
She backs up. "Nothing."  
  
Her eyes dart towards the stairs and her toes twitch. She makes a break for it. She's fast. But I'm much faster. I'm trained to be. Before she even knows what hit her I have her by the back of her nightgown and am dragging her over to the couch. She squeals. I drop her onto the cloth-covered cushions and stare down at her, doing my best to look like a big mean uncle. I'm not sure how good of a job I'm doing, because I'm no good at the crime and punishment shtick. I'm usually the comfort guy. But right about now I want to know what she's doing in the mission room with my missing disk. She looks up at me with a stunned expression, her little mouth working furiously over words that aren't coming out.  
  
"Kaori, what are you doing down here?"  
  
"Um. ah, er. I . I. I dunno. It's jus the basement. I was. looking for.."  
  
"For?"  
  
She averts her eyes and draws her legs up to her body. She shrugs and puts two fingers in her mouth, brushing her hair back with the other hand. She sniffs and then starts to cry. Two big fat, salty tears roll down her cheek and that's it. It's over for me. I sigh and sit down next to her, letting her curl up in the crook of my arm. I rub her back.  
  
"Aw, Kaori-hime. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, but you aren't supposed to come down here. How did you find out about this room?" I ask softly.  
  
She shakes her head. And sniffles again. "The crazy lady," she says very softly.  
  
"Who?!"  
  
She looks up at me with big eyes. "The crazy lady with the weird hair and the funny hat. She's quiet, but I always notice when she comes. I saw her come down here one time. And. and then I saw the stairs.."  
  
And the rest is history. I pat her back. "You mean, Manx. The lady who does our bookkeeping, right?" At least that's what we tell her Manx does. You can't have a strange lady hanging around all the time and not have some explaining to do.  
  
Kaori nods slowly and then sits up sharply as if she just remembered something. She holds her hands out and lowers her eyes, bowing to me slightly. "Here," she whispers.  
  
In her hands is my missing data disk. I take it from her gently and tuck it in my shirt pocket. "Where did you get this?"  
  
She looks up at me and then peers over her shoulder and points to my computer in the corner. She bites her lip as her eyes fill up with tears again.  
  
"Why did you take it? What were you doing down here in the first place?" I ask in a soft, but firm voice.  
  
"Uh. I dunno. I was just looking at your computer, shukufu.. I thought. I thought maybe it was a game. But it wasn't. It just had a lot of files on it. And none of them were game files, so I was bringing it back. To put it back on your desk. I thought you were in bed," she says.  
  
I stare at her sternly for a few moments. She thought -I- was in bed, huh? "Did you look at the files?" I ask, trying to keep my voice even. I know that Kaori is only a little girl, but she's much smarter than your average little girl . The possibility that she read the files and -understood- what she was reading is remote at best, highly unlikely at worst, but I still can't keep from feeling nervous. My palms sweat a little and I feel tense.  
  
She bites her lip. "Just a couple. I. I didn't really read them. much. They were long, and not games so. I didn't really. read them."  
  
I lower my gaze and look at her intensely. She fidgets.  
  
"How often do you come down here?"  
  
She shrugs. "Sometimes. It's quiet. I just like to sit and think. It smells nice down here," she answers quietly.  
  
I put one hand on her shoulder and tilt her chin up to look at me. "Well, this is one of the places that we, and Manx, work. It isn't a part of the house that you can play in, Kaori-chan. You aren't to come down her on your own ever again. Do you understand me? And you are definitely not to, under any circumstances, play with my computer. Are we clear, missy?"  
  
Her eyes widen and she gulps, nodding briskly. "You won't tell my daddies, will you, shukufu?" she hisses urgently.  
  
I roll my eyes back in mock thought. "Well. I guess I could let it slide this once if you promise, -promise-, not to ever do anything like this ever again."  
  
She nods again even more vigorously and then throws herself into my arms. She squeezes me tightly and kisses my face. "Thank you, Uncle Omi! I love you so much. And I promise. I do!"  
  
I pat her back and chuckle softly. She climbs down from the couch and hurries towards the stairs. I stand up and walk towards the computer. I need to finish updating the files and put another copy of them on the hard drive. Just as I am about to sit down I hear tentative feet on the stairs again. I turn around and see Kaori peering at me though the slats in the railing.  
  
"What, Kao-chan?"  
  
"Can I ask you a question, Uncle Omi?"  
  
"Sure if it's a real quick one. Then you need to go back to bed, ok?"  
  
She nods and then thinks for a moment. Licking her lips she says, "Are you a superhero?"  
  
I'm taken aback by the question and I think it shows. She almost giggles. What kind of question is that? I think about the files on the disk. I look at her for a moment and then shake my head. "No, Kaori-hime. There's no such thing."  
  
She looks at me hard as if trying to see if I am lying to her. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
She thinks for a moment and then brushes the hair from her eyes. "Ok. Good night, shukufu."  
  
"Good night, Kaori-chan."  
  
I watch as she disappears up the spiral staircase. As I sit down I let a held in sigh escape through my lips. What a thing to ask. Oh Kaori. You are too perceptive for your own good.  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
I turn to Fujimiya, my head lolling listlessly against my headrest. Tugging my sunglasses down my nose and refolding my arms I fix him with a dead gaze. "Are we there yet?"  
  
For a moment my fearless leader says nothing, but I notice absently that his knuckles become two shades whiter than his already deathly pale skin, a clear indication that he is gripping the steering wheel rather tightly. Probably thinking about my neck. His deep, indigo eyes swivel around to glare at me sidelong and his thin lips move rather painfully. "Don't start with me, Kudou."  
  
I sigh despondently and turn to look out my window. A thought occurs to me and I turn back towards the petulant read-head. "You want me to drive?"  
  
"I've got it covered, Kudou," he grates, his knuckles turning just one shade lighter.  
  
I shrug and look back out the window. At least the scenery is nice. You know this is just my luck. I could have ridden with Ken, on the motorcycle. That would have been fun, but no. I decided that, as a good father, I should ride in the Jeep with Ran and the kids. I don't spend enough time with Kenji and I know that, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind as far as quality time goes. This is captive audience parenting. Besides, I glance over my shoulder and peer into the backseat to check on the status of our three pre-pubescent passengers, he fell asleep almost two hours ago. Right about the time we realized that we were lost.  
  
Well, if you ask mister I-can-drive-the-car-by-myself he'd say that we never got lost. No we just 'took a wrong turn'. Sure a wrong turn that took us two hours out of our way and got us separated from Ken's motorcycle -and- the Tsukiyono baby-mobile. Omi driving a mini van. it just isn't right. But hey, all our shit fit into it, so it isn't like I'm complaining. And this way I don't have to be in a car with babies. Well, I don't suppose Choji-kun and Sou-chan are really babies anymore. more toddlers. What are they four or something. almost five? Six? I can't remember. But they do that drooling thing sometimes and Chojiro has a problem with keeping his food in his mouth so. I'd still rather be in the Jeep, two hour detour and all.  
  
I face forward again. "Are you sure we aren't still lost?" I ask, just to see what will happen. It's that same morbid fascination that makes you want to look at car accidents.  
  
This time he actually turns his head. His eyes say bloody murder and his fingers are starting to twitch. Good thing there isn't a katana within gutting distance. I smile blandly and try to look mildly interested. "We are not now, nor were we ever lost. We took a wrong turn. That's all. It isn't my fault that they changed the turnoff."  
  
"Yeah, but Omi and Ken sure didn't seem to have any problems finding the right way.." Just like a three-car pile-up..  
  
"Do you want me to throttle you, Youji? Cause I'll pull this thing over and we can go, right here on the side of the road," he says flatly.  
  
I put my hands up in surrender. "Hey, this is supposed to be a family vacation. Don't forget about the 'precious cargo' in the back. I'd hate to have Kaori watch me beat your ass and develop some kind of father complex or something. I just wanted to make sure that you know where we're going," I say blandly.  
  
Fujimiya sticks his finger in my face and glares at me. "Don't tempt me, Kudou."  
  
I brush his hand away. "Watch the road, why don'cha?" I glance back at the kids to make sure they're still sleeping.  
  
The cell phone rings. We both glance at it simultaneously. Two different pairs of hands dart out, fighting for cell phone supremacy. I'm just a little too slow, Ran's hand get's there first. But I have a back-up plan. I play dirty and go for his rips. Ran Fujimiya's one ticklish son of a bitch. He jerks and curses, dropping the phone. With one deft maneuver that thing is mine. The car swerves in response to Fujimiya's panicked twitching.  
  
I look over at him and furrow my brows. "Hey, watch how you're driving there, Speed Racer."  
  
He glares at me and swears under his breath. The phone keeps ringing. I press the on button as I stick my tongue out in Ran's general direction. "Moshi moshi, Lost in Space."  
  
"Where are you guys?!" Ken cries over the line.  
  
I sit back and cross one arm over my chest. "Oh hi, Kenken," I say languidly. Ran turns his head and glares at me again. He mouths 'give me the phone.' I shake my head and mouth, 'piss off.' "How are you?"  
  
Ken sighs in exasperation but plays along. He always does. What a good boy. "I'm fine, Youji, and you?"  
  
"Oh, you know. Some of this, some of that. All in all I'm doing pretty well for having been lost for two hours. Don't know if I can say as much for your. er. koibito here, he's looking a little bit testy." I lower my voice, "He's say we took a wrong turn but, confidentially. he got us lost."  
  
"Youji, give me the phone!" Ran yells, sticking his hand in my face.  
  
I widen my eyes. I can hear Ken laughing on the other side of the connection. "Poor baby, sounds like he's having trouble coping. Maybe you should let me talk to him."  
  
"If you insist, but be careful, he wanted to duke it out with me a few minutes ago. There's no telling what our fire-haired leader will do.."  
  
"Just give me the phone, Kudou!" Ran yells again.  
  
"Later, Kenken," I drawl.  
  
Ken snickers. "Later, Yotan."  
  
I hand the phone over to Fujimiya and then peer over my shoulder into the back seat again. Uh oh. Looks like all the yelling did some damage. Kaori takes a big breath and then blinks her eyes, looking around blearily. She turns towards Kenji, who is seated beside her, drooling on her shoulder and roughly pushes him off. My son starts and then slumps in the other direction, falling against our last prepubescent passenger, one Aniki Tominaga, Koa-chan's best friend, along for the fun. Strange kid. Kinda reminds me of myself. He's stylin for a twelve year old.  
  
"Hey, aité," ran says in a low voice.  
  
I can hear Ken over the cell phone. "Hi, koi. Where are you? We thought you were going to catch right up after you stopped for gas."  
  
"Yeah, well. we were, but. I took a wrong turn at you know, that crossroad."  
  
"They changed the traffic flow there. We talked about it before we left, koi."  
  
"I know," Ran growls. "But I took the turn and we got almost two hours out of the way before we realized it."  
  
"Well, we got here almost half an hour ago. Why didn't you call and tell us you were delayed? We were starting to worry."  
  
"I hoped we could make up the time.."  
  
"Two hours worth of time?" Ken asks incredulously.  
  
"Look we'll be there in an hour or so, so just drop it," Ran grumbles.  
  
Kaori rubs her eyes and sits up, leaning forward and reaching out with her little hands. One snakes over the back of the seat and onto her father's shoulder, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Are we there yet, Papa?" she asks sleepily.  
  
Ran pauses and turns his head, keeping one hand on the wheel. "Not now, Kao-chan, I'm talking."  
  
"Is it Daddy?" she goes on.  
  
Ran nods.  
  
"I wanna talk to him," she says. It's not asking, it's telling.  
  
"Just a second, Kao-chan," Ran says absently. "Here, your daughter wants to talk to you." He holds the phone over his shoulder and Kaori snatches it with happy little hands.  
  
"Hi, Daddy," she chirps, sitting back. I can't hear Ken's replies anymore. "Hm?.. ah, no. No I took a nap.. Yeah, I think Kenji and Ani-kun did too, but we're waking up now. Ha? .. Er, I don't think so. I don't know where we ended up. In some village, I think.. *giggle* Papa didn't want to ask directions, but Uncle Yotan made him. Then we had to go all the way back. That's when I fell asleep.. Hai. hai.. Um. we still have a bunch of snacks in the back and water and tea and stuff, so we'll survive. Did you have a nice ride on your bike?.. I should have gone with you, ne? .. Yah, but -Papa- wouldn't let me. *giggle* And then he got us lost, too! Poor, Papa, he tries so hard, ne?.. That's true. I'll tell him you said so.. Well, ok, say hi to Uncle and Aunty for me, at this rate I may never see them again.. Hai hai hai. Do you want to talk to Papa or Uncle again?.. No? Ok. Bye, Daddy."  
  
Ran reaches back for the phone, but Kaori hands it past him to me instead. "He didn't want to talk to you," she says flatly. Then she leans forward and wraps her arms around the headrest and Ran's neck. "And he said that you have as much sense of direction as a compass in a magnet store." She squeezes and giggles.  
  
"Thanks," Ran grumbles. "He's one to talk."  
  
Kaori sits back and winks at me. I wink back and push my glasses up my nose. She turns towards Kenji who is just making himself comfortable against Aniki's shoulder. We hit a bump. Ran mutters, I grumble, Kaori squeals, and Aniki jolts, whacking his head against the windowpane.  
  
"Arhg! Itai," he moans sitting up. He looks down at my son who is slumped against his shoulder and smiles a bit distantly. He gingerly pushes Kenji off with his fingertips and then stretches, rubbing his head. A few pieces of light brown hair stick up where he's been sleeping against the door. He yawns, gray eyes squinching up, and then notices me watching and smiles slowly. "Ohiou, Kudou-san." Were those the twelve-year-old version of come hither eyes or am I just paranoid? I shake my head. There's just something creepy about that kid. I nod and turn around, watching the backseat proceedings in the rearview mirror.  
  
Aniki-kun glances over at Kaori. "Where are we, Kaori-chan?"  
  
She looks over the top of Kenji's head and shrugs. "Not there yet. But Papa said only another hour or two. And he should know since he's the one that go us lost in the first place."  
  
Ran grumbles under his breath. Aniki leans forward and reaches out a hand to put on Ran's shoulder. "It's ok, Fujimiya-san, we all make mistakes. I won't complain." I notice that he squeezes Ran's shoulder just ever so slightly.  
  
Yeah, he creeps Ran out too. I can tell. That little eye shift thing tells all. He nods also. "Er. thank you, Ani-kun."  
  
"Douitashimashite*," he replies and then sits back, folding his arms over his chest and smirking to himself. Hmmm.  
  
Kenji finally grumbles and pulls himself into wakefulness. He glances vaguely at Kaori and then over at Aniki who twinkles his fingers at him. Finally my son sits up and leans forward into the front seat. "Dad, are we there yet?"  
  
"No. Another hour or two," I reply patting his head.  
  
"Oh. are you sure?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Can we pull over?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause I think I'm gonna be sick.." Kenji wraps his arms around his stomach and makes a little gagging sound. His face looks a bit green.  
  
"Oh, crap! Ken-kun are you sure?" I say, twisting around in my seat.  
  
He nods. "Pretty sure," he replies breathlessly.  
  
"Not in the Jeep!" Ran cries.  
  
"Pull over!" I say, jabbing his arm.  
  
"Right here?"  
  
"Yes, Fujimiya, right here!"  
  
"We don't have time for this!" he shouts.  
  
"Look either we make time," I yell, "or my son pukes all over the leather interior! What's it gonna be, eh, Ranny?!"  
  
Ran glares at me, hard. He hates it when I call him Ranny. I think it's cute. I don't know why nobody thought of it before me. Maybe it was the glare o death.. "Fine," he growls swerving sharply towards the shoulder of the road. Good thing we're on some back county two lane. Of course the swerving action doesn't do anything for my near hurling progeny. He makes a sickly urking sound, but holds up admirably under the circumstances. We screech to a halt. Aniki and I are out of the car so fast it's like magic. Kaori pushes Kenji out after us. He tumbles from the Jeep and I have just enough time to catch him and hold him up before his well-maintained self- control finally gives in.  
  
Hmm, what in the world does Rikuko feed this kid? That's disgusting.  
  
And as I half kneel/half stand, holding my preteen son as he blows chunks past my Gucci loafers it is now that I realize that this. yes this, is what family vacations are all about.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Thank God it's Monday. I love Mondays. Mondays are the best. At least they are now that we've decided to close shop on Monday. Ah, yes. Now we have Sunday -and- Monday off. Two whole days of sitting on our asses. planning for missions. Ok, so it's not exactly like we ever get a real day off, but that's not the point. The point is that I don't have to get up in the morning and go water plants. And now that Kaori is old enough to cook for herself I don't even have to get up to attempt to make oatmeal and then fail miserably. Wow. For a moment I realize just how old my little Kaori- hime is. She's in her last year of junior high. She'll be fifteen in two months.  
  
Sigh. Time marches on. And we're all just getting older and older. Youji's already hit the big four oh, and Ran isn't far behind. In fact. this July is forty years for my koibito. And that makes me. going on thirty-eight. Ahhh! That means that I will be twice the age I was when I first met Ran! Ugh. I'm getting those little gray hairs at my temples, and they're slowly inching upward. Well, at least I haven't hit the midlife facial hair phase yet. I hope I never get so desperate that I grow a mustache. That would just be too sad. Actually, more importantly, I hope Ran never gets so desperate he grows a mustache. There's something ultimately disturbing about red heads with facial hair. it just makes them look that much weirder.  
  
Shaking my head to clear away the annoying thoughts of impending age, I round the kitchen counter and head for the stairs. I haven't seen Ran all morning. He actually wanted to sleep in again. Which is weird, because he's usually such an early riser. It isn't like him not to get up to see Kaori off. He didn't even get up early for the Sunday paper yesterday. He must be feeling a little under the weather or something. Which is also odd, because Ran almost never gets sick. He's probably up by now.  
  
As pause at the bottom of the stairs and call, "Ran? Are you up yet, koi?"  
  
There isn't a response so I start to climb slowly, calling out to him on the way. "Oh, Ranny! I'm coming to get you! You'd better get your lazy ass out of bed, or else I might just have to do something uncalled for.! Ran? Answer me!"  
  
There is no answer. I roll my eyes. This really isn't like him. He isn't a light sleeper either. Usually he'd be charging down the hall by now, looking for my head, but it's quiet at the grave in here. I shudder. I don't like that thought. I quicken my pace a bit, berating myself for being paranoid and yet unable to slow.  
  
I quickly open the door and flick on the light.  
  
I exhale with a strange sense of relief when I see Ran sitting up in bed, his head in his hands. "Ah! Turn it off," he mumbles blearily.  
  
I oblige and then walk towards the bed. "So you are awake. You didn't answer me, I was actually worried for a few moments there," I say lightly, picking up a few articles of dirty laundry and dropping them in the basket by the closet. "You usually come and try to beat me up when I wake you." I laugh and turn towards him.  
  
It's now that I notice what I hadn't noticed before. The ragged, forced breathing, the slight sheen of sweat on pale skin, the slightest trembling of muscles. I furrow my eyebrows and stare hard at the man that I love. "Ran, are you feeling alright?" I ask, crossing the distance between us quickly.  
  
He looks up from his hands, the effort causes him to take a sharp breath. His eyes seem distant and fevered, his usually fine, soft hair matted and damp with sweat. "Something's. wrong," he breathes and then collapses against me, clutching his arm as I sit down beside him quickly.  
  
Holy shit! I've never seen Ran like this before. He's scaring me. Really scaring me. I touch his forehead. He burning up, but his body is trembling as if he has the chills. Forcing him to sit up I ask him urgently, "What's wrong?"  
  
He shakes his head and indicates his arm, clutching it to him tighter. "My arm. it's. I don't know. It doesn't feel right."  
  
His arm? He got a nasty wound on his upper arm during our last mission. Sharp objects in close quarters. it wasn't good. But cuts and gashes, scrapes and sores are things we've come to live with. Some run of the mill flesh wound like that shouldn't be giving him the trouble it seems to be.  
  
I look at him worriedly and then hush him, running my hand over his forehead and talking to him on a low voice. "Let me look, koibito."  
  
He nods and takes his hand away, breathing shallowly. I roll up the sleeve of his white undershirt and find myself catching my breath. First of all it doesn't smell right. Second of all there are several long, thin, red lines extending from beneath the bandaging and up his bicep. "Holy shit!" I hiss and then immediately start to tear his shirt off. I have to see how far those lines have gotten. He groans at the sudden rough treatment and cries out sharply as I grab his arm and twist it, tuning on the bedside lamp. The lines are past his shoulder, moving towards his neck. This is not good.  
  
I want to unwrap the bandage, but am afraid. Too. I know what I'll find. An infection to beat all infections. How did this happen?! It isn't like Ran to let something like this go, to not take care of his wounds properly, not clean them properly, let them get infected. With a job like ours there is nothing more important than you physical health. There must have been something on whatever caused the wound in the first place. It must have been tipped.  
  
Ran looks halfway gone. He blinks at me slowly and then drops his head into his free hand again.  
  
"Ran, we have get you to a hospital. You have blood poisoning," I say sharply. I start to pull him up out of bed, tucking his arm around my shoulder.  
  
His head jerks up sharply and he tries to pull his arm away from me. "No! You know how I feel about. hospitals," he growls.  
  
"I don't care how you feel about hospitals!" I cry, shaking him roughly. "You are going to die of a blood infection if you don't go to one! I'm serious, Ran Fujimaya. If you don't get your ass out of this bed and to the car within five minutes I will kill you myself, so help me God!"  
  
He stares at me unbelieving. I'm pissed. I grab his arm again and start to hoist him up out of bed. He grumbles, but does his best to help me out. I manage to get him down the stairs, halfway carrying him as he stumbles over his own feet on the way. We get as far as the living room when he loses consciousness.  
  
I think now would be a good time to call the emergency room..  
  
  
  
The waiting room door flies open. A few magazines ruffle their pages in the ensuing draft and then settle down as the door swings shut again. I look up to see my daughter running towards me, backpack nearly smacking some old man in the head as she carelessly flings it around in her haste to get to me. Her uniform skirt ruffles around her legs, her hair a complete mess. I stand to greet her. She screeches to a halt in front of me and drops her bag, breathing heavily.  
  
"Where is he? Is he ok?" she asks hurriedly.  
  
I sigh and nod, pointing off down the far corridor. "He's up the elevator," I say.  
  
"We can see him right?! He's ok, right?! Pops is ok?" she presses.  
  
I nod again and pat her head gently. "Yeah, Kao-chan, he's fine. We just had a close call, that's all. Antibiotics will have him all fixed up in no time. Where's Youji?"  
  
She glances back over her shoulder and shakes her head. "He went to park the car. He just dropped me off outside after picking me up from school. I've had the worst day, I just knew something was wrong," she mutters. The she looks up at me and narrows her eyes. She reminds me of a certain bed ridden red head. "You should have called the school and told me earlier. You shouldn't have waited for school to end today."  
  
"I didn't want you to worry, and school is important. Besides it wouldn't have done any good to tell you. You couldn't have seen him any sooner," I say assuredly, staring back with unwavering eyes. After almost nineteen years I know how to deal with the Fujimaya death glare.  
  
She glances down and picks up her bag. "I guess not, but still. I think you should have told me."  
  
I shrug. "Come on, let's go up. Youji can get directions from the receptionist," I say leaning forward and kissing the crown of her head. She smiles distantly and takes my hand as we head down the corridor. That's one thing I love about Kaori. Even at her age, she isn't afraid to hold her old man's hand in public.  
  
Fourth floor. Everything is white and sterile. It always is. This is a hospital after all. A few nurses flutter by, clip boards in tow. I squeeze Kao-chan's hand and then indicate Ran's door. She releases my grip and rushes to the door, pushing it open with an all too familiar ferocity.  
  
"Papa!" I hear her cry as I follow behind. As I enter the room behind her she rushes to the hospital bed and manages to put her arms around Ran. He smiles absently and touches her head. He's much more alert now that he was even when I left only a half an hour ago. The antibiotics and whatever else they have pumping into his arm through that little plastic tube are doing their job well.  
  
There's something eerie about the sight of my strong, defiant husband connected to tubes and beeping machines in the all too sterile confines of a hospital room. It makes me feel the mortality of all things in a way that is just too keen.  
  
Kaori releases her father from her embrace and then stands up to look at him. I can tell this makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like being the sick one. He likes being the one to take care of the sick. Kaori looks down at him for a moment with an expression I can't quite decipher. Then she scowls suddenly and with one hand on her hip smacks Ran in the forehead with the back of the other. "Baka."  
  
Ran makes a funny coughing sound. "Since when do children call their parents a baka?" he mutters.  
  
"Since they do stupid, baka-like things. Chichi*, what is this?" she answers testily, pointing to this bandaged arm. "How did you let that happen? What were you thinking?"  
  
Ran tries to sit up farther and scowls, opening his mouth incredulously. "It isn't my fault," he growls. "The weapon was tainted, how was I supposed to know?"  
  
Kaori doesn't buy it. "What kind of a question is that?! It's your job to know! In your line of work you should know. Or you should have at least had the sense to get it looked at by one of the Kritiker doctors. It couldn't have just turned all infected and gangrenous over night! You should have had it looked at at the first sign of possible complications! You know better! Would you have let it just slide if it had been Dad or Uncle Youji or Uncle Omi who had been wounded like that? I don't think so!"  
  
"I already got this lecture from your father!" Ran snaps.  
  
"Well, you're getting it again from me!" she snaps back. "Maybe this way it will sink in and I won't ever have to see you in a hospital bed again!"  
  
The air practically snaps and crackles with the electricity that these two are building up between themselves. They glare at each other for a few moments, identical stares trying to stare each other down. It would be comical under other circumstances. They're just so much alike in so many ways.. Identical stares, identical tempers, identical scathing remarks.  
  
I walk over to the bed. I have to diffuse the situation. I place hand on Kaori's shoulder. She sags a bit and then sighs, looking away. She turns and hugs me, looking over at Ran. "I was just so worried about you, Pops," she murmurs.  
  
He smiles blandly and nods. One hand comes up off the bed and beckons to her. She reaches out and laces her fingers with his, smiling back. "I know, Kao-chan. I'm sorry."  
  
"But you can't do this again," she adds tersely. "You're supposed to be invincible after all. If that little bubble of mine gets broken. I don't know how I'll stay sane just thinking about you and Dad and the uncles out there kicking asses and taking down names. A girl needs her delusions, Pops. Just do your part to keep mine in tact, ok?"  
  
Enter the cynical wit.  
  
"Hai, Kao-chan. I'll do my best."  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
Aniki looks up from where he is leaning against the cement planter outside the Kritiker Building. He raises one eyebrow as I push my way through the swinging glass doors and come to stand in front of him. He snaps the book in his hand shut and swiftly places it in his bag. I follow the movement with my eyes and then look up into his face. I smile slyly.  
  
"Your newest yaoi doujinshi?"  
  
"What do you take me for, some kind of underage hentai?"  
  
"I've known you since we were in kindergarten. And I don't just take you for one, I -know- you're one."  
  
His eyes narrow for a moment and then he begins to smirk. He punches my arm, clumsily, I could have easily dodged. I could easily have grabbed his arm and flipped him onto his back if I'd wanted to, but that wasn't really necessary. I let him punch my arm and giggle, slugging him back.  
  
"Ow! Kaori, could you at least try to act like a girl, even if you don't look like one? That hurt. You hit hard," he grumbles.  
  
I shrug. "Sorry. No need to be a baby."  
  
He straightens up and shakes his head, the sunlight catches on the choppy brown locks and I smile to myself. Aniki is the cutest boy in our class. Always has been, always will be. He's also the gayest boy in our class, which at times makes me very sad. You know the saying. everyone's a little queer. I just wonder why Aniki can't be a little straight. Don't get me wrong, he's not flamboyantly, flamingly, talk-with-a-lisp-and-wear-your- momma's-lipstick gay, he's more the uber bitchy, dresses better than a male model, caustically cynical kinda gay. Oh well, after sixteen years it's not all that likely that he's going to start noticing me or any other member of the fairer sex any time soon. I shake my head, and loop my arm in his.  
  
"Let's go, Wonder Boy."  
  
He snickers and tightens his arm around mine. "So, why is it, that even when you tell me that this little club of yours gets over at five thirty you aren't out here until five to six?"  
  
"Because I have hair that I actually have to wash after being sweaty and disgusting. I have to get naked and in a shower stall. Because, I'm sorry, but doing what I do here just gets my hair all crusty and disgusting with sweat and.."  
  
"Stop it. You're ruining my afternoon."  
  
"Well you asked," I snap.  
  
"Why can't you just wait till you get home? You only live a few blocks from here. You'd think that having to shower here after Tinder every single day would get a little annoying," he says, rolling his eyes.  
  
"It's only on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday! And it's Kinder. Not Tinder. Tinder is something you start a campfire with, baka."  
  
He shrugs and we walk on down the street in silence. He pulls his arm away after a little while and hops up onto the top of the low retaining wall along the sidewalk. He looks down at me and I glance up at him. We walk on, moving through the sun drenched streets, glad that they aren't choked with rush hour pedestrians.  
  
"So what exactly is it that you do with this Kinder thing anyway? I mean you've been doing it for what. three years now? There are too many damn activities that you're in. We hardly get to hang out anymore," he says slowly.  
  
"We're hanging out now," I answer shrugging.  
  
"Yeah, but. I mean that's just because I happen to pass by this building on my way home from basketball. We've been doing this since we were little kids. Sure we'll walk home together, but then we'll have to part ways and do our homework and then tomorrow you'll be in Kinder all day. and so it goes every other day with soccer and dance and Kinder and archery and basketball, etc. The schedule never changes just what takes up the space, if you know what I mean."  
  
"You're rambling, Ani-chan. Besides, your favorite part of getting to hang out with me is still readily available to you.."  
  
He looks down at me and narrows his eyes, trying to find my hidden meaning. "How do you figure?"  
  
"Well, even if I'm not there the shop is still always open and at least -one- of the guys in my family is there, so I figure.." I say lightly, holding up my hands.  
  
"Oh, ha ha," Aniki burst out, leaning over, "very funny. I bet you just think you're so clever, don't you. Well, it's not my fault that your family is composed of nothing but extremely hot men.."  
  
"Old men.," I say under my breath.  
  
"Fourty is not old. It's distinguished. experienced even. Look at some hot actors for example. Sean Connery only got sexier as he got older. He was better looking at sixty than at thirty."  
  
"He's dead. Besides wasn't he just in cheesy spy movies?" Actually come to think of it that kinda isn't so far fetched. kind close to home actually.  
  
"Sure he's dead -now- but he was a sexy old man. And your uncles and your fathers are all sexy not-even-that-old men," he says sighing slightly. "Such a wealth of beauties.."  
  
"Gross. You're like the opposite of a pedophile."  
  
"I am not! Besides there's always your little cousin, too," he drawls.  
  
"What?! Kenji? Oh come on, he's almost three years younger than us!"  
  
"More like two, don't blow things out of proportion. And I don't care what you say. He's cute. He's almost as cute as me," Aniki says emphatically.  
  
I smirk as an idea hits me. "As cute as Jiro?"  
  
Aniki almost falls off the wall. "Ugh, no. Nobody is a cute as Jiro," he says breathlessly.  
  
"Jiro's an ass hole! He used to make fun of you all the time when we were little, don't you remember all the times I got sent to the principal's office because I would beat him up for you?" I cry.  
  
Aniki hops down from the wall and wraps his arms around mine. "I don't care. That's ancient history. he's so hot. There's one guy I would -love- to grab and drag into the Janitor's Closet. Oh the things I would do to him.."  
  
"He's not even gay!"  
  
Aniki looks at me slyly and raises an eyebrow. "Not -yet- he isn't.."  
  
I roll my eyes. "Loser."  
  
He stands up straight and adjusts his shoulder pack. "So anyway, I asked you a question which you artfully dodged a while ago."  
  
I cast him a sidelong glance. "And what was that?" I don't want to talk about this..  
  
"I asked you what it was that you did in Kinder that was always taking up all your time."  
  
Great. Here we go. I shrug. "I dunno. It's just kinda like extended school or something. We have a lot of intensive language classes and. geography and stuff."  
  
"That's it. geography and stuff. That takes up two evenings and an entire Saturday a week? I don't buy it. You are always coming to school with big old bandages and shit that you say you get at Kinder. So what the hell do you do there?"  
  
"Oh. that. Well, there are like. self-defense classes too. And I take kendo there and. some other stuff. judo. rock climbing. just physical conditioning stuff. Basic," I say hurriedly. "Why do you care?"  
  
"Just wondering. how did you get into it? You just started going all of a sudden. And Kenji goes too, ne?"  
  
"Yeah. he does. Look, it's just something that we got into because of our parents. They own stock in something or something. well. kinda. They are members of this organization and Kinder is like. that, but for younger people I guess," I stumble over my words.  
  
"What, like being members of he YMCA or something?" he asks.  
  
"Sorta. It's just like some club they belong to. Why are you asking all this now? I've been in Kinder for years."  
  
"Mmm, no reason. Just wondering."  
  
I eye him warily for a moment, trying to feel around Aniki's words. I don't really feel like dwelling on what he might be getting at. "Anyway," I say, jogging ahead, "let's get going. I'm hungry. You wanna stop at my house and get some food?"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
I glare at him. "You just want to oogle my family."  
  
He grins and shrugs. "I can't help it. I still have hormones, even if they're a bit misplaced."  
  
"Gross."  
  
We hurry down the street, shoving each other and giggling. As the Koneko comes in sight I race ahead, easily able to outstrip Aniki. "Last one there's a gaijin butter-sniffer!" He yells after me and follows on my heels, banging into me as I shove against the glass door. We burst into the shop, the door bell jingling madly as we trip over each other, laughing and chattering. Aniki grabs my back pack and pulls me back causing me to slip on the newly cleaned, white floor tiles.  
  
"Ahh!" I scream, slipping sideways and nearly careening into Uncle Youji's precious, potted fichus plant. Luckily Aniki realizes his mistake just in time and throws himself after me, knocking up both flat, but safely out of the way of the fichus.  
  
I grunt under Aniki's weight and shift, rather unhappy with the way the hard tile feels against my ribs.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" I hear. It's not a happy sound. I crane my neck and look up, trying to shift Aniki off my back. I feel him sit up and rock back onto my legs. I prop myself up on my elbows and smile wanly. My father glares down at me, dark eyes narrowing unpleasantly.  
  
"Konichiwa, Fujimiya-san," Aniki says brightly, pressing the heels of his hands into the small of my back. I grunt unpleasantly and try to glare at him over my shoulder. I notice Dad amble up next to Pops and cross his arms.  
  
"Well aren't you two quite the pair?" he says shaking his head.  
  
Aniki sits back again and holds out his arms. "Hello, Hidaka-san. I don't suppose I could humbly ask both of you to help me up, could I?" I snort and roll my eyes. The nerve.  
  
Dad and Pops exchange a glance, Pops raising an eyebrow and Dad shrugging. They both reach out and take one of Aniki's wrists pulling him up. I suppress the urge to gag as he hops to his feet and lurches forward, bumping into my fathers, giggling. "Wow, you guys are so strong. I wasn't expecting there to be so much power behind your arms."  
  
Jesus. Who does he think he's kidding. He's shameless, totally, utterly, disgustingly shameless. I'm surprised that my father's haven't beaten him down by now. I kinda worry that somewhere, deep down their middle life crisis selves revel in the attention. Can we say 'hello, Mrs. Robinson.' Ew. God I hope not. Not ever. I push off the floor and painfully sit back onto my legs. "Is somebody going to help -me- up? I'm the family member here, after all," I grumble.  
  
Aniki turns to look at me, feigning surprise. I reach my arms towards my father, but the next thing I know there are arms under my shoulders, hauling me upwards a bit painfully. "Ugh!"  
  
"There you go, Kao-chan."  
  
I crane my neck to look over my shoulder and smile blandly at the deep green eyes and find blinking back at me. "Thanks, Kenji-kun," I drawl, pushing off of him and out of his arms. This place is too crowded. Aniki grins at me and I scowl back.  
  
"No problem, juushi," he says lightly, ruffling my hair, he's already taller than I am, and that's saying something since I'm the tallest girl in my class. I'm not amused.  
  
I jerk away from him and grab Aniki's arm, hauling him away from my parents. "Let's get out of the shop, Ani-kun," I snap.  
  
"Good idea," my father answers under his breath.  
  
I smile weakly at them over Aniki's shoulder and then haul him towards the back of the store.  
  
"But don't go eating a bunch of snacks!" Dad calls after us, "We've got tofu loaf for dinner."  
  
Aniki looks over at me and mouths, 'tofu loaf?'  
  
I roll my eyes. "Dad's on a health food kick," I hiss under my breath.  
  
We pass Uncle Youji, and I try to haul Aniki past before he has the chance to make an idiot of himself. He resists and pulls back, clinging to the doorframe I am desperately trying to get him through.  
  
"Hello, Kudou-san!" he cries, scrabbling madly at the doorjamb. "How are, ugh, you today?"  
  
Uncle Youji turns slowly, brushing a stray piece of hair back out of his eyes. He smiles congenially, putting his hands on his hips. "Fine, Ani- kun, and yourself?"  
  
"I'm feeling rather abused at the moment," he grunts, attempting to break free of my grasp as I haul him backwards. "But other than that I'm fine," he pipes up brightly.  
  
Uncle Youji scowls, "Kao-chan, why don't you let Aniki go. You're making a scene, tater-tot. Will it really kill you if you miss the first five minutes of whatever show you're in such a hurry to see?"  
  
He's so blind. I just want to keep my best friend from shamelessly flirting with my family! Haven't they seen 'American Beauty', or 'the Graduate', or. 'Zen and the Art of Landscaping'?! Ok, so all those movies were popular when they were like my age or less, but still. a classic is a classic! The message goes on.  
  
Grunting I let go, Aniki lurching forward. Youji puts out his hands and steadies Aniki's shoulder. Aniki giggles. "That's the second time I've done that since I walked in here. Youji-san."  
  
I shuffle next to him and latch onto his arm. Since when did he get on a first name basis with them?! I step on his foot.  
  
"Itai! Kao-chan, be careful, ne?" he whines.  
  
"There you said hello to Uncle Yotan, can we go upstairs now?" I hiss.  
  
He glances and Youji and I swear that uncle raises his eyebrows and winks. They all make me sick.  
  
"Don't I get a hello from my tater-tot?" Uncle Youji drawls.  
  
I look up at him and roll my eyes. "Hello Uncle Yotan, sorry."  
  
He grins and pats my shoulder. "I forgive you, but just this once. You two run along and have. fun. Or whatever it is teenagers do these days."  
  
I yank Aniki away and push him up the stairs towards the upper apartment. "Aww, I didn't get to see your other unlce."  
  
"He's not here today!" I snap. "For once in your life could you -not- hit on my family and make a complete ass of yourself?"  
  
"I did -not- hit on anybody!" he cries. "If I was hitting on your family you'd know it and nobody would be safe, I can guarantee you that."  
  
"They're all taken anyway," I grumble, mounting the top stair and slipping off my shoes. Aniki sits down beside me and begins to untie his sneakers. I didn't think anybody bothered to actually untie those things.  
  
"Not your Kudou-san," he singsongs.  
  
"Yes he is," I singsong back.  
  
Aniki looks up at me. "Nuh uh."  
  
"Yeah-huh. I told you, Uncle Youji got married again like a month ago."  
  
Aniki gets to his feet. "To who?!"  
  
"I thought I told you all this already," I sigh, stepping into the house. Aniki grabs my arm.  
  
"Well you didn't, so tell me now. Oh, I'm so sad!"  
  
"Whatever. Anyway like I said. He got married again over a month ago. Some gaijin woman. She's pretty cool, I like her ok. Aunt Miriam. I can't even pronounce it, nobody but Uncle Youji can, so we all just call her Midi."  
  
"Well. how did they meet? How did your uncle end up marrying a gaijin?" Aniki demands.  
  
I shrug. "I think that he knew her before. They met. in Hawaii or something, over my fathers' commitment ceremony stuff, if you can believe that. They were just friends, 'cause I guess she was on her honeymoon then after marrying a Japanese businessman, or something. She lived here with him for years. But she was really just his 'white prize bride,' so the marriage wasn't a happy one. She left him, but didn't divorce him and went back home. Anyway long story short. He died a year or so ago, and she came back for the funeral and her inheritance from his will (guess she came back on and off just to affirm that she was still part of the family or whatever) and going through all the old wedding stuff found a picture of Uncle Youji and my fathers and Uncle Omi and some other people they knew in Hawaii with our number on it, so she just kinda called up Uncle Youji out of the blue. And the rest is history," I say rolling my eyes.  
  
"Weird."  
  
"Really weird."  
  
"So. is she.American then?"  
  
I shake my head. "No, British. She's really nice and her accent is so funny!" I dislodge Aniki from my arm and wave him into the apartment. "I guess it really has been a long time since we hung out if you didn't already know all of this," I say absently.  
  
"Really."  
  
We walk by the couch and I barely pay any attention to the back of the head sticking out over it save to say, "Konichiwa."  
  
I notice peripherally that the head turns in my general direction. "Hi." In English. Of course.  
  
Aniki pauses behind me, but I make my way to the kitchen. If it's tofu loaf for dinner then I definitely need some snacks..  
  
A few moments later Anikik comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulder mid rummage through the refrigerator. I stand up with a start and whirl on him. He's staring at me intensely. "Who is the out of control hottie on your couch?" he hisses.  
  
I roll my eyes. "I told you, Uncle Youji got married. That's his step- son. That's Aunt Midi's son, Geoff. or Jefuri if you go by his -Japanese- name. Obviously just a bastardized version of his English name, but who am I to complain?"  
  
"Haffu?*"  
  
"Obviously. He's the only legitimate son of Aunt Midi's first husband, but I guess the family decided to pass the name on to some son of his mistress or something. Crappy deal if you ask me," I say going back into the fridge.  
  
"Why didn't I know of his existence. he's hot. Of course the mixes always are.." Insert heavy sigh here.  
  
"He doesn't go to our school. He goes to the American school on the base. His Japanese is atrocious. He's lived in England since he was three or something. I kinda feel sorry for the guy, I mean he came back for his father's funeral, expecting to go home and then -bam- he gets to become a part of our crazy little family and is stuck living above a flower shop in a foreign country. Must be weird for the guy to have to live with so many people all of a sudden since it's really just been him and his mom for most of his life."  
  
Aniki pokes my back. "Introduce me."  
  
"Why? You won't be able to talk to him. Like I said, his Japanese is horrible and you've almost flunked out of English three times," I grumble, grabbing a can of tea.  
  
"Just do it," Aniki whines. "My English can only get better.."  
  
"He's not gay."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I know."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Ok, maybe I don't know."  
  
"Well. there you go."  
  
I roll my eyes and push past him, yanking his arm and pulling him back towards the living room. Steering him around the couch I stop in front of Geoff. He looks up at us with calm, light blue eyes, just slightly almond shaped. He blinks twice and then sits forward, running a hand through his dark hair. I smile blandly.  
  
"Jefuri-kun," I begin.  
  
"Yes," he answers in English.  
  
"Japanese for a moment, ok?"  
  
He raises an eyebrow, looks pained and then gives in. "Hai."  
  
"This in my friend, Aniki Tominaga. Aniki this is Jefuri (Geoff) Nimoto," I say slowly.  
  
Aniki nods his head a bit and smiles slyly. "Pleased to meet you."  
  
Geoff holds out his hand. "Cheers."  
  
Straightening, Aniki reaches out and takes Geoff's hand in his own. A slow smile spreads on both their faces. I can't take this any more. Maybe I was wrong.. Ugh, just what I need.  
  
Throwing my hands up in the air I say, "Have fun," in English and then stomp back to the kitchen.  
  
Sometimes I wonder if my life can get any weirder.  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
* shuukufu means 'uncle who is younger than the parent'  
  
* chichi is a nickname for father, like pops or daddy  
  
* douitashimashite (I'm actually not sure if this how its spelled) is like 'no problem' or 'it's nothing'  
  
* haffu is a slang (and rather rude) way of saying someone who is of mixed ethnic descent (wasn't that nice and PC?)  
  
*gaijin. if you don't know what this means you have little right to call yourself an otaku. cause you are one (unless you happen to be Japanese) it's anybody who is -not- Japanese, but most commonly refers to westerns and especially Americans  
  
And thoughts: Kaori's section was way too long and not nearly interesting enough in my opinion. But everyone wanted to get to meet Aniki and so you did. He's odd. There, nuf said.  
  
Review!! Now!! *pokes* 


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